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Thread: I thought ex and I were cordial. I guess not? Video of him talking about me.

  1. #1
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    I thought ex and I were cordial. I guess not? Video of him talking about me.

    As the title says I thought my ex and I were on good terms, but now I think we’re not and honestly, I’m upset by it.

    We loved each other VERY much and wanted to get married. He was trying to pay off his credit card in a few months so that he could start saving for a ring. Well ever since December, we just kept arguing. The fights got worse and then finally we had a big nasty blow up which was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

    Fast forward to now we’ve gotten friendly, or so I thought. We started following each other on social media again, talking here and there, etc. Last week he asked if I had something of his and I told him I didn’t. He contacted me again the next day asking me about it again-I called him to explain how I couldn’t possibly have the item. Then the next day he sent me a video of his cousin’s dogs and then told me he found the missing item. I LOVE those dogs, so I just replied pleasantly to him. I said, “aww they’re so cute. I glad you found your stuff.

    Tell your cousin I said hi”.

    So we all have mutual friend and a few days ago I get a video from one those friends. It’s a video of that a mutual friend posted online of my ex talking to a group of guys. My ex is recounting the big blow up that lead to our breakup. Then at the end of the video he says, “she stormed out. I’ve talked to her a little bit, but whatever” and they all start laughing.

    I’m hurt because after all that we went through and how much we loved it it was nice that we could be cordial with each other. I never expected to be friends, just friendly and pleasant with one another. I thought there was no resentment and that we still cared about each other, like in “I’m glad you’re okay and I hope nothing bad happens to you” friendly kind of way.

    After hearing him say whatever and laughing with his guy friends it seems like he either is angry with me or is indifferent? Why send me stupid videos just to feign being friendly?

    I thought we had gotten past what had happened, so yea I’m a little hurt. So is he pretending to be cordial and is indifferent since he said “whatever”? Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Your friend but more so your ex need to be deleted and blocked from all your messaging apps and social media.

    They Both are turning your heartache into a hahaha reality show for their own amusement, then your so-called friend shoves it in your face?

    Why have lowlife people like this in you life? You need to rethink your friend group as well as your choices in men.
    Originally Posted by Beckydee90
    I get a video from one those friends. It’s a video of that a mutual friend posted online of my ex talking to a group of guys. My ex is recounting the big blow up that lead to our breakup. Then at the end of the video he says, “she stormed out. I’ve talked to her a little bit, but whatever” and they all start laughing.

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Your friend but more so your ex need to be deleted and blocked from all your messaging apps and social media.

    They Both are turning your heartache into a hahaha reality show for their own amusement, then your so-called friend shoves it in your face?

    Why have lowlife people like this in you life? You need to rethink your friend group as well as your choices in men.
    My choices is men? We’re clearly not together, so there’s that.

    And for my friend she wasn’t trying to shove it in my face. She isn’t a lowlife.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I agree, why did your "friend" think you would want to see that?

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    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Like some others, my first thought here is: this person is your friend?

    Honestly, I don't really see what he said to be all that bad, or to negate cordialness. He was blowing off some steam with friends, as people do. Why one of his/your friends decided that was an appropriate thing to post on social media—well, again, my head spins and struggles to reconcile all that by my personal definition of the word friend.

    Do you think he would be soothed by every word you've ever uttered about him since breaking up? Doubtful. Unfortunate that his words were made public and then back channeled to you in case you missed the notification, of course, but that's not really him but the company you and he keep, no?

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    Gold Member ChellyV's Avatar
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    Our ex's turn into a different persona in front of friends. This is also the phase you can see who were your "so-called" friends. Mostly they want to give that image that they are right, they are angelic, can never do wrong. Only a few bold friends will call them out if too much negativity is being said.

    Why not ask him about it? But be prepared for the answer. On the other hand, just after a break up? Wounds still fresh. Go NC fo now, which includes social media.

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    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Shake it off.... I'm sure you've said plenty to your friends. And the laughing isn't laughing at you... it is just a reaction to/ deal with awkwardness what are a bunch of guys gonna do? hug him?

    it was wrong to record and post it. I would not consider that person a friend. I would tell your friend to not tell you stuff anymore. In your friend's defense, she probably thought it was right to do. but the less you hear, the better.

    As for the ex, block, delete, don't mention it... walk away with your head held high. what he says, why he says it, etc is none of your concern anymore. Be the bigger person. Realize if he knew it would be posted, he probably wouldn't have said it, but at the same time, you see that what you thought is not the case. Bye boy.

    Anyone with any sense knows relationships are hard, people fight, things end. Its not really something to post on social media. And anyone that thinks differently, is not your friend.

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    Originally Posted by Lambert
    Shake it off.... I'm sure you've said plenty to your friends. And the laughing isn't laughing at you... it is just a reaction to/ deal with awkwardness what are a bunch of guys gonna do? hug him?

    it was wrong to record and post it. I would not consider that person a friend. I would tell your friend to not tell you stuff anymore. In your friend's defense, she probably thought it was right to do. but the less you hear, the better.

    As for the ex, block, delete, don't mention it... walk away with your head held high. what he says, why he says it, etc is none of your concern anymore. Be the bigger person. Realize if he knew it would be posted, he probably wouldn't have said it, but at the same time, you see that what you thought is not the case. Bye boy.

    Anyone with any sense knows relationships are hard, people fight, things end. Its not really something to post on social media. And anyone that thinks differently, is not your friend.
    Thanks you’re right. I’m just confused because he’s been contacting me and I’ve just been short and polite with him so I don’t get the negative vibes. If you harbor I’ll feelings then why not just leave me alone? Again, I can see if was contacting him but I’m not.

    The breakup happened 2 months ago. I went out of state with him to go be with his family and how he wanted to have an engagement party at his parents estate. To go from that to this is just sad.

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    I agree with the other posters about your ex: he was venting with his friend like you would do to yours. The part that is unclear is: did he know he was being videotaped? Did he know it would be posted in social media? You could ask him. Have one last discussion with him and after that, best to take your distance since the thing with exes is if you don't reconcile, you risk being hurt times and times again (on both sides).

    Now about your "friend":
    She posted something from your very private life for the world to see ( very hurtful thing to do).
    She did it without your consent which shows a lack of boundaries and especially lack of respect for you.
    I mean, there's No way she thought this wouldn't hurt you deeply. It would hurt anyone. Even if you were over your ex it would hurt you...
    So what is her motive?? If she wanted to share with you the information, she would do it in private. Why go behind your back?
    Anyway, that is a very mean and immature thing to do.
    Does she have a crush on your ex?
    Does she want to separate you further more?
    Is she jealous of you?
    This person doesn't have your best interest at heart. That's why the other posters suggest that you blocked her.
    I'm sure she has a lot of quality but with friends like that, you don't need enemies.

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    Originally Posted by Cannelle
    I agree with the other posters about your ex: he was venting with his friend like you would do to yours. The part that is unclear is: did he know he was being videotaped? Did he know it would be posted in social media? You could ask him. Have one last discussion with him and after that, best to take your distance since the thing with exes is if you don't reconcile, you risk being hurt times and times again (on both sides).

    Now about your "friend":
    She posted something from your very private life for the world to see ( very hurtful thing to do).
    She did it without your consent which shows a lack of boundaries and especially lack of respect for you.
    I mean, there's No way she thought this wouldn't hurt you deeply. It would hurt anyone. Even if you were over your ex it would hurt you...
    So what is her motive?? If she wanted to share with you the information, she would do it in private. Why go behind your back?
    Anyway, that is a very mean and immature thing to do.
    Does she have a crush on your ex?
    Does she want to separate you further more?
    Is she jealous of you?
    This person doesn't have your best interest at heart. That's why the other posters suggest that you blocked her.
    I'm sure she has a lot of quality but with friends like that, you don't need enemies.
    I don’t know if he was being filmed. He was talking to his guy friendship the background. His best bud was recording it over his shoulder with the caption, “really”. He tagged my ex and posted it. Usually when he and this friend are together he’ll repost it on his page. He didn’t repost this time. I get venting, but to say “whatever” is what’s bothering me. Actually, I take that back I don’t get why he’s venting either. We broke up months ago so I figured we were both past that and had moved on, especially since he’s been contacting me.

    It was MY friend who sent me the screen recording of video his guy friend posted. After my ex and I got together a handful of my girlfriends and my ex’s friends all became good (enough friends). So it was my ex’s best guy friend who recorded and posted the video.

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