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Thread: Preoccupation with body image

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kim42
    Thank you guys for your comments, I want to start jogging more regularly once the lockdown is over here.
    As for my family, I usually defend myself, I say I don't feel bad in my body. If I am really upset, my mom apologizes, she just says she doesn't want me to be overweight as my cousin. I told her the other day her comments were hurtful, I hope she understood. I don't want to be going home to visit all stressed what my family will say.
    I wanted to share a picture of myself with you guys but I don't know if it's a good idea 😐
    I am from.Eastern Europe and it's true our culture is slightly obsessed with being skinny so I just don't have the desired body type I guess.
    Usually I am okay with how I look but lately I've realized these comments are affecting me too much. Thanks again for listening :)
    Instead of becoming defensive towards your family, be adamant when you tell them that you will no longer tolerate their disrespecting you with their rude comments regarding your body because it's another way of telling you that you're fat. Tell your mom that you've already working on your health in your own way and to be quiet about this. Tell her that you do not need unsolicited advice. If your mom and family refuse to honor your wishes, decrease your visits until they get your message. Enforce boundaries with people including family.

    It's not a good idea to share a photo of yourself with us because it is unnecessary. We'll take your word for it!

    As mentioned previously, instead of obsessing over your body image, shift your focus onto your heart, brain and body organs' health. Diet and exercise diligently to prevent pre-diabetes, diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, liver disease, kidney disease, better mental health, reduce the risk of arthritis / osteoarthritis, pain and inflammation. Think about the quality of your life and longevity.

    Also, think of genetics. If health problems are prevalent in your family tree, break the mold by changing your lifestyle habits.

    Regarding food, think how you feel after you eat food which you're not supposed to eat. You will feel physically awful, sluggish and fatigued. Also, being a few pounds heavier from indulging will have other prices to pay such as being in a foul mood because bad food will make you feel negative, miserable and depressed more than ever before. Always think of the bad consequences.

    I LOVE various food of all sorts. However, I always think of how I feel after I eat it and for the next 48 hours. I'm extremely tired, sluggish, dragging, bloated, puffy and exercise is unnecessarily more labored than it has to be. All I want to do is nap.

    Think of how you feel and let that be your guide and barometer to your health as opposed to body image. Get healthy for your mind and whatever it does to the body is gravy. Change your mindset. A convicted mindset makes you mentally stronger and this in turn gives you self control which is empowering.

  2. #22
    Silver Member kim42's Avatar
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    Thank you Batya an Cherylyn for your advice.
    I have no health issues, my mom is concerned I will gain weight and never lose it. The women in our family are rarely skinny, and both my aunt and my cousin gained so much weight at some point, especially when they were pregnant. So I believe this is her main concern.
    When I said I can defend myself, I meant I explained my family I am happy with how I look, and they can't expect me to look the same as I looked 10 years ago.
    I think they feel like they can say things about my appearance because they see me once per year, they don't beat around the bush but I talked to my mom today and told her how this makes me feel so I think she understands now.
    Thanks again for commenting, I feel like this helped me to change my mindset.
    No photos will be provided, I'll stick with my sloth picture 😊

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by kim42
    Thank you Batya an Cherylyn for your advice.
    I have no health issues, my mom is concerned I will gain weight and never lose it. The women in our family are rarely skinny, and both my aunt and my cousin gained so much weight at some point, especially when they were pregnant. So I believe this is her main concern.
    When I said I can defend myself, I meant I explained my family I am happy with how I look, and they can't expect me to look the same as I looked 10 years ago.
    I think they feel like they can say things about my appearance because they see me once per year, they don't beat around the bush but I talked to my mom today and told her how this makes me feel so I think she understands now.
    Thanks again for commenting, I feel like this helped me to change my mindset.
    No photos will be provided, I'll stick with my sloth picture 😊
    Why can't you look the same weight wise after ten years? Getting older doesn't mean gaining weight. Some experience slower metabolisms as they age. Doesn't mean weight gain has to be the result. Having said that yes I agree you have to enforce boundaries with them.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I do exactly the same for losing a few pounds - a few! -and maintaining.
    High five, Batya!


    Kim, do women in your family have any health issues? I know that a few of mine do and that's why they gained weight over the years. It's also the reason I gained weight at some point as well. I wasn't happy being that size so I was determined to lose the excess. What matters most is you being healthy but also comfortable in your own skin. It's good to read that your mum understands now!

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You're quite welcome, kim42.

    You are young and don't have any health issues ~ yet. Get healthy, stay healthy and you'll have no to minimal health issues later as you grow older.

    If being overweight is prevalent in your family, it is alarming because often times, this means blood tests are not optimal which is nothing to sneeze at.

    Being overweight is not about just aesthetics. Being overweight is a reflection of non-health INSIDE the body.

    Since you've explained to your family that you're happy with your appearance and you told your mom that you are hurt by her "observations" and she understands, hopefully you can put this issue to rest.

  7. #26
    Silver Member kim42's Avatar
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    Hey everyone, I am back and feeling much better than last week. To answer your questions, we are pretty healthy in family, my mom is nit overweight, she's not skinny either she is trying to lose weight herself. Both m aunt and my cousin gained a lot of weight when they were pregnant. I am definitely one of the skinnier women in our family.
    Batya, I agree that getting older doesn't mean gaining weight, what I meant is that 10 years ago I was still at high school with zero curves, was really skinny back then. My body changed a lot when I was 21-22, I didn't expect that.
    I hope my family will be more understanding next time I visit.

  8. #27
    Bronze Member Leah33's Avatar
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    Sometimes people make negative comments about appearance because they are dissatisfied with their own.

    If someone is going to criticize me for my body type then you better be in better shape than me otherwise move along.

  9. #28
    Silver Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Leah33
    Sometimes people make negative comments about appearance because they are dissatisfied with their own.

    If someone is going to criticize me for my body type then you better be in better shape than me otherwise move along.
    I know my mom means well, I explained her how these remarks make me fell and I thinks he understands now. Then we have some other members of my family I need to set boundaries next time.

  10. #29
    Bronze Member Leah33's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kim42
    I know my mom means well, I explained her how these remarks make me fell and I thinks he understands now. Then we have some other members of my family I need to set boundaries next time.
    That's good.

    Sometimes family are the toughest critics of all it seems.

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by kim42
    I know my mom means well, I explained her how these remarks make me fell and I thinks he understands now. Then we have some other members of my family I need to set boundaries next time.
    Good news!!

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