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Thread: We started off great, he messed up and failed to make it up to me...

  1. #1

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    We started off great, he messed up and failed to make it up to me...

    I met this guy named brant online right before quarantine started. We agreeded that we had to wait a while until we could meet in person. So we had about 5 videochat dates that were amazing! We hit it off very fast and had instant chemistry and a ton in common. Were both successful in our careers and very happy where we are in life and stated that we both were trying to find a serious relationship. We texted every day and videochatted 1-2 times a week and were forming such a great emotional connection until about a month into it we agreed that we couldn't wait any longer and had to finally meet! Also, About a week before we started talking I got into a slight fender bender and I had some minor mechinal problems and he has a mobile mechanic business and said that about one virtual date that if things kept going well then he would fix my car for me if I bought the car parts then I would just buy first round for us when the bars open again. A few days before we were going to meet he actually told me that he went and bought the parts anyway, I was very flattered by this and it made me think things were going extremely well! Then...he messed up. This past Sunday he was supposed to come over, fix my car and then we were going hiking at some more remote places where there weren't a lot of people and we can spend some time with each other in person. He told me to look up these places I sent him a couple that I found and he said pick one. I narrowed it down to 2 places, saying that maybe we should go with the one that is further away to get away from more people. He agreed (all of this planning was by text) and that he said when he got off from work that he had to drop some supplies off at his moms house and that he would call me when he got home to go over more details such as time he was going to meet me. He didn't call, which I figured he just feel asleep after a long shift at work, not a big deal. So i texted him the next morning at about 930, no response. I tried to be patient but I didn't hear anything back so I texted him about 4 times and called him twice with no response. These contact attempts had about 1-2 hours of waiting between them. I didn't receive a text from him until 6:09pm that night saying he got busy fixing on his car. I didn't respond for 2 hours so he responded again apologize saying that the day got away from him beteen his car breaking down and some family problems he has been handling. I ignore his text again and don't rspsond until 1136 pm that night and said okay, sorry about your car and I hope to hear back from you soon. No repsonse the next morning which made me more angry and I texted him to tell him how much he hurt me by ditching me and not respecting me by not contacting me to cancel. Told him that maybe we can still have something but if so, he is going to prove it to me and that the ball is in court and he knows where to find me. I told him to take it or leave it. Didn't hear from him for over 7 hours and he said he was really sorry and that the day got away from him with his car issues and family issues. He said he should have called me and said that he knew that I called but that he was on the other line and couldn't answer. He said for him to take that day to handle his reponsibilties and get back to me soon. I said okay but I told him that we could have avoided this whole mess if he just would have been honest with me and that we have been talking online for weeks, we still have plenty of time to meet so if we had to reschdule I woukd have understood that. But I told him that I was still mad at him for what he did and he said that he was telling the truth now. I asked if I could call him that night after I was done with my workout to talk about this on the phone so that we don't misscommunicate. No response, but i called him about 2 hours later, twice in a row no answer, I texted him saying that I still look forward to meeting him and that I miss him and still like him. it was 8pm. He texted me at 1pm the next day saying he felt the same way and that he thought I needed some space to cool down. He asked again if I still wanted to hang out and I said yes. He asked if he could call me that night to set up plans again and I said anytime after 8 will work. He said okay and I will call you then and I said okay sounds good. He never called, I was really angry that night again, I refused to confront him about it and I havent heard from him since. Why did he do this? If I ignore the fact he didn't call and lied to me again, then is there a chance he will reach out to me again? Thanks!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately it sounds like he never had any intention of meeting. Is he living with someone/married?

    Since you never met in person and it has been a brief time it would be best to delete and block him from all messaging and social media apps. Never chase someone who stood you up and is ignoring you.

    Take your car to a licensed auto facility and never invite a stranger to your house, no less trust someone you know nothing about to mess with your car.
    Originally Posted by rissam91
    we had about 5 videochat dates
    We texted every day and videochatted 1-2 times a week
    This past Sunday he was supposed to come over, fix my car
    I didn't receive a text from him until 6:09pm that night saying he got busy fixing on his car.
    He texted me at 1pm the next day saying he felt the same way
    He never called

  3. #3
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    Okay first I must point out this important safety rule: Never meet someone online in a far off remote place. They could be a serial killer and you could easily go off the grid.

    Second: This guy honestly sounds like a headache. Not worth risking your health during this Corona health scare right now.

    I say just move forward and when you find a guy to meet up with do it in a very public place. Even if it means you’ll have to wait for Quarantine to be over.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Talk is cheap, as they say. Actions speak louder than words.

    What do his actions tell you?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by limichelle
    Never meet someone online in a far off remote place. They could be a serial killer and you could easily go off the grid.
    Oh yeah.... It was really really creepy that he had you selecting from an assortment or remote places to meet for the first time. Definitely never do that. Ever. No matter how well you think things are going.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Stop calling and chasing this guy.

    Until you meet, date, and get to know a person, everything they say can be BS.

    Anyone that lets you down this early on. Yes. you are still at the beginning. Time is irrelevant. Nothing is between you... some calls etc are nothing, especially since he goes MIA and basically lies to you about calling and getting together

    He is a waste of your time.

    Also don't go off in a hike with a stranger. that is very dangerous behavior

  8. #7

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    I appreciate all the feedback, in normal times I meet a guy at a bar or something. Also for the safety concerns, I don't live alone and live with my friend and her husband. They always know where I am and would never let anything happen to me. I asked grant to meet me at my house not at the hiking location. We have videochatted multiple times, even once where at the hospital he works at. He told me the name of the hospital he works at and I know hi address too. I asked him to go hiking with me to a remote area because I didn't want to go to a crowded hiking area where we wouldn't be able to practice social distancing. All of that was my idea. If he reaches out to me again, I'm going to ignore him for a few days and then tell him off and block him them! Thanks!

  9. #8
    Gold Member waffle's Avatar
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    Oh my goodness, no, stop playing games and just be done with him. He's showing you who he is, just be thankful you found out now before you got in too deep. Flaky men are a dime a dozen online, it shouldn't be hard at all to move along and find another one.

  10. #9

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    Thanks!! Yeah I figured, it was just so strange because he was so affectionate on our videocalls and texts but obviously it was just for show! I need action not just words! Also for the safety concern, I forgot to mention that I was planning on bringing my pitbull and she wouldn't let anyone hurt me, very protective bodyguard that i have! Haha 😉🐶

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by rissam91
    I appreciate all the feedback, in normal times I meet a guy at a bar or something. Also for the safety concerns, I don't live alone and live with my friend and her husband. They always know where I am and would never let anything happen to me. I asked grant to meet me at my house not at the hiking location. We have videochatted multiple times, even once where at the hospital he works at. He told me the name of the hospital he works at and I know hi address too. I asked him to go hiking with me to a remote area because I didn't want to go to a crowded hiking area where we wouldn't be able to practice social distancing. All of that was my idea. If he reaches out to me again, I'm going to ignore him for a few days and then tell him off and block him them! Thanks!
    If you are miles away, your friends can't help you. Even if it is your idea. You know people can lie about where they work and video calls are really not the same as real dates, real time spent, right? You definitely display some poor judgment here.

    Good for you, to end it. but the games and telling him off are immature and stupid. This guy doesn't care. You're just a voice on the phone. It shows how much more invested you are, than he. Raise your standards and you won't have these problems.

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