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Thread: My wife has been seeing someone else

  1. #1

    My wife has been seeing someone else

    My wife and I have had a rocky relationship. We found out early on that we were expecting and decided to build a life together. We have had various hardships in our relationship, but nothing we couldn't face together. 4 years later, despite having a rough beginning and some issues throughout, our relationship felt strong. However, she asked me for some time apart. I agreed, wanting to show her respect and give her the space she needed. That was about 6 months ago. I recently discovered that she has been in a relationship with someone else. Yet, she claims it means nothing to her and wants to resume things with me. However I have also found out that despite making this claim, she still talks to him on a daily basis. Should I take her back? Do I accept that I've pushed her away and move forward alone? Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
    Gold Member Skeptic76's Avatar
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    You’ve been separated for six months? Where have you two been living? How old is your child(ren)?

    Sorry, this sounds like some kind of interview but it seems like a complex situation you find yourself in and I want to understand you better.

    Did you also date or have a fwb? What was the communication with your wife like while you were separated? Was there a clear boundary or expectation set between you regarding fidelity while you were separated?

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    Well if you guys were on a six month break, I guess she was allowed to see someone and so were you. Maybe she's only sleeping with this person and not in love with them? Also do you and your wife love each other? Or are you mainly together for the child?

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    What were/are the problems?

    Why was this huge break in your marriage okay for you?

    You are married, dating another is not ok. It is definitly not ok that they are Still in contact. Do you usually allow her to walk all over you?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Have you consulted an attorney regarding legal separation/divorce and child support/visitation? She is preparing to divorce so check your bank accounts, credit score, etc.. As long as you are not legally separated she can clean them out. She has been planning this for a while and she has already moved on with someone.
    Originally Posted by Montezuma01
    That was about 6 months ago. I recently discovered that she has been in a relationship with someone else.

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    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Who was the main instigator that made it a rocky relationship? Her? or You? Who tried or wanted to leave before the pregnancy?

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    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Its hard to answer such a yes or no question, as should I take her back? when you really give no indication that you love or ever loved her.

  9. #8
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Montezuma01
    However, she asked me for some time apart. I agreed, wanting to show her respect and give her the space she needed. That was about 6 months ago. I recently discovered that she has been in a relationship with someone else. Yet, she claims it means nothing to her and wants to resume things with me. However I have also found out that despite making this claim, she still talks to him on a daily basis. Should I take her back? Do I accept that I've pushed her away and move forward alone?
    It sounds like she failed at finding that greener grass, and has decided to gradually take you down from the shelf she placed you on.

    The bottom line is she chose to cheat, and is worming her way back by attempting to play you for a fool, (imo). Can you go forward with her after this? Your call...

  10. #9
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    Hey brother could you tell us a little but more information. Was she seeing this person and was the cause for the break?
    How often have they been meeting? What other causes for friction are there at the family unit?
    Just so advice can be offered a better picture is needed. Either way, strength to you.
    Buffer

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Mun's Avatar
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    Hi! I know you are asking us what to do, but what do you want? Could you take her back and trust her? Think on this very much. It will determine how you live the rest of your life with her if you do take her back. Do you want to?

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