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Thread: Does he want me back or a friendship with me after to years?

  1. #1
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    Does he want me back or a friendship with me after to years?

    Hello everyone,

    I post already about this but the situation has changed.

    So basically I saw my ex of 2 years ago the other day and he waited 30 days to reach out to me again to plan a "secon date/meeting" (was it supposed to be a non-contact period that I wasn't aware of?)

    Second meeting (Ill call it like that since it is not defined if it's a date or not)

    We went in a park an drink a little bit. We discuss (not a lot of stuff about the relationship) and out of the blue he says he is happy that he can share moment like this with me. That I am the only ex he can do that with and he is not sure why? He also told me that he was sure I hated him and that he use to fear contacting me because according to him, he did make me suffer in the relationship.(In my head I am like so you want a friendship?)

    We continue the "date/meeting" we talk a lot and there is moment when I turn my face and I see that he was already staring at me and smiling. When asked why he is looking at me like that he says nothing I am just happy to see you, I missed you and we see each other so rarely. (In my head I am like we broke up, do you want a friendship or more???) They were also moments where we would stare at eachothers withoit talking and smiling and other moment when he couldn't stop saying I am a smart and beautiful woman, blablabla.

    We then go to my place. NOTHING HAPPENED and Its perfect like that (just how I wanted it). We stayed together for 6 hours in total and we talked a lot (a tiny bit about the relationship but nothing major.
    Thing like I have memory,etc.) Before leaving my place, he told me that I can also text him and that he would like us to exchange news and he also mention twice that he is the who broke the ice twice to set up the "date/meeting" and that I can do it too. He insisted on that. He wants me to plan the next "meeting/date". (In my head I am like maybe he wants more)

    When he got home he texted me he had a blast. 2 days later he text me out of the blue to be careful if I go to the BLM protest in Canada.

    So do yall think he wants to get back with me on me on just want to be friend?

    I do not want to ask him since I don't want to make it a weird thing.

    I do want him back but to afraid to tell him and since he is not clearly saying I want you back I am confused. I also have a lot of pride and I think if he wants me back he should be telling me and if not stop leading me on.

    If you need more details I will be glad to give it to y'all. The previous post has further details.
    Last edited by lollipop300; 06-10-2020 at 04:17 AM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Did he just break up with someone? On/off is a bad place to be. If he were serious, you would know. He may sense your how eager you are so may just want FWB until he gets back with someone or finds someone else. 2 years is a long time to not have given you a second thought.
    Last edited by Wiseman2; 06-10-2020 at 07:19 AM.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Skeptic76's Avatar
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    Yes, he wants to date you.

  4. #4
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    Ask him.
    You have nothing to lose by doing so!?

    You seem to be acting as if this is all out of the blue but in your other thread you said you kept in touch every few months.
    In those times did he ever update you on new girlfriends etc?
    Do you know if he dated much in the past two years ?
    And have you been dating /in a relationship during that time? Did he know?

    Im inclined to think he is bored during isolation?
    And its not a good time to be meeting anyone new.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I don't understand how you can consider going back to a relationship with someone you're afraid to talk to about your feelings. Or who you're afraid to have a relationship talk with.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    The amount of smoke he is blowing up your you know what is quite frankly cringy....also kind of amusing. Please don't fall for the bs.

    Talk to him and by that I mean tell him to cut the bs and ask straight up what he wants from you.

    What he is doing now is manipulating you into chasing him. He "worked" so hard to reach...gasp...twice.... Now he is explicitly turning the tables on you - you should call him, you should do stuff for him, you should chase him and prove yourself to him....barf.... Since you are still pining for him, I'm going to assume that he dumped you. It's not you who has to chase or prove anything to him - it's him who has to prove a whole lot to you, including mending broken trust. How do you know he won't turn around and dump you again be it friendship, fwb, or relationship? There is no way you can trust him and he sounds manipulative af......

    If you want answers, ask the hard questions and more importantly, take a big step back and watch IF actions and words match up.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    He's not interested for the reasons you're thinking. This is a person who's taking advantage of your loneliness and manipulating the fact that he treated you badly to begin with, knowing that you are vulnerable and still wanting something more.

    Why did the both of you break up?

    He sounds exhausting and a complete loser. Why would a guy who respects you take you to a park to drink anyway? I wouldn't even do that with a friend, let alone a romantic interest.

    I think you are looking for signs in the breadcrumbs.

    Time to dump the breadcrumbs outside for the birds and make some real french toast.

    This is no good.

    Stay safe out there with the protests.

  9. #8
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by lollipop300

    So do yall think he wants to get back with me on me on just want to be friend?

    I do not want to ask him since I don't want to make it a weird thing.

    I do want him back but to afraid to tell him and since he is not clearly saying I want you back I am confused. I also have a lot of pride and I think if he wants me back he should be telling me and if not stop leading me on.
    Since you're uncomfortable/afraid to communicate with him, along with allowing "pride" to stand in the way, this seems to set the stage for being at his mercy, (imo). Also, you don't know what's behind his true intentions, therefore ask yourself if you're up for a roll of the dice.

    In short it's your call, but I'd trust my intuition.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    You broke up with him to begin with. What do you want now?

    Look, there are exceptions to every rule. Two years is a long time and if it's no skin off your behind and you can live in the moment and you can enjoy spending time with him.

    What does he want? Who knows? I doesn't appear he knows what he wants. But try to not to forecast into the future and live in the moment.

    I don't know his character. He could be manipulative or coming from a place of good intentions. It's up to you what can handle and be able to suss this out.

    I wouldn't ask what his intentions are at this point. If it's not costing you anything can you just enjoy the moment for what it is and let things organically unfold?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    He still has commitment issues. It's been 2 yrs of tiptoeing around and he has not stepped up. Sadly you are hanging onto nostalgia and false hope that he will suddenly become someone you want rather than who he is.

    You have wasted twice as much time in this limbo than you spent actually dating. In this time you could have met, dated and been in committed relationships with men who are not just hanging around in the go-nowhere zone. Stop contacting him. Get on with your life and start taking control of your happiness.
    Originally Posted by lollipop300
    I broke up with him because he had a commitment issue.

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