After an affair .. can you trust ?

Will you trust someone after they cheat on you ? Or will you always doubt ?

So he cheated in the past and you are currently cheating:

https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=564483

 

Do you plan to continue your affair, or have you chosen to end it? Have you told him about your own affair?

 

Seems like you both will have to decide if your marriage is worth saving.

 

PS: I presume you will feel your affair is not relevant to the question you're asking but I think it absolutely is.

Nope, would never trust them again .

Will you trust someone after they cheat on you ? Or will you always doubt ?

 

Are you thinking of admitting it to your husband?

 

The answer to this question really depends on him.

 

Some marriages can get past cheating.

 

People cheat for different reasons. Some people are just depraved (which I don't think you are), but some do it for other reasons.

 

I think you fall into the "other reasons" category, which is the best for reconciliation.

 

You should explore those reasons and take steps to address the problem(s), whether your marriage survives it or not.

Speaking from personal experience I think if someones cheated on you in the past, you'll always carry an element of doubt around with you. It's a shame because it can scar your commitment going in to new relationships, regardless of the fact originally, none of it was your fault. I had many chances to cheat in a relationship and choose not to. That's the reality, it's about choices and selfishness. Those of you that have dicided to cheat are selfish and nasty individuals.

No. No. No. No.

Will you trust someone after they cheat on you ?

Will you trust someone after they cheat on you ? Or will you always doubt ?

I've been cheated on and it is was the end of the relationship. cheating is a complete deal breaker full stop for me. I wouldn't trust them at all.

 

For me, its just too big of a hurdle to even try to overcome because frankly, the risk is all on the victim. the victim is choosing the cheaters happiness and comfort over their own. And to me that is completely stupid.

 

Why should I discount my own value and be treated like that. There is no one in thus world that is so great, that I love so much, that I sacrifice myself for them, in that way.

 

Can I love someone so much, I'd do anything for them? Yes, but cheating proves they don't deserve that.

 

There are just too many other options in the world....

 

I want to be happy with someone, not scared, insecure and crazy....

Short answer is No

Long answer is Noooooooooooo

 

Do each other a favor and break up.

Cheating is the most toxic thing to happen in a relationship.

 

I was cheated on over 10 years ago, and I still have the deep scars.

Will you trust someone after they cheat on you ? Or will you always doubt ?

 

Those are not my only two options. I'd walk away without any concern about doubt.

No better option be single and content with life.

Dont cheat you lose your soul and respect for your partner

But some relationship do survive continue broken until time, the magic in the relationship is lost. You compromise due to society & finances , divorces are expensive.

So why be in relationship then if you are not sure just breakup respectfully.

Are you talking about your affair or your boyfriend's affair(s)?

 

You've already gotten advice on this. In terms of your boyfriend, I have NO idea how could trust that he would ever tell you the truth at this point. But if you want to go down with that sinking ship, no one can stop you.

 

And in terms of your husband, that's for him to decide. If you tell him, he may not ever forgive you or trust you again, but that's his choice to make. Not yours. Unfortunately, you have dug yourself into a hole. If his wife finds out, there is a chance she will tell your husband anyway.

 

You either cut if off with your BF and don't tell your husband and hope that no one else tells him (which you can't be sure of)

 

Cut it off with your BF and DO tell your husband and hope he forgives you/ is willing to work on things.

 

Cut if off with your boyfriend and your husband decides to divorce you.

 

Divorce your husband and gamble on the boyfriend that he is willing to do the same.

 

Anything you choose to do is going to have some level of risk and consequence. There's no elegant answer here.

Never! Since cheating and lying go hand and hand, my final words would be "Good riddance!"

Forever and permanently in doubt.