Gotta echo Batya and Wiseman. Don't resort to infantilizing gestures such as chore lists. He has no desire to be treated as a child. And I highly doubt you have any desire to be playing the role of parent.

Communicating obviously isn't working. And it's precisely when you mutually find yourselves in separate realities that you should be looking into counseling services. A lot of what you two find yourselves at odds over are very fundamental, and him going into a full-time graduate program is more than a tiny stick being thrown into the wheel. I wouldn't cut corners.