Narcissistic Sociopath

This is literally the first time I’ve posted anything on a forum but feel like it’s my only outlet to confirm my feelings. I don’t want to get into a long drawn out post so I’ll sum things up. I’ve been in a on-again, off-again relationship(more on than off). After 11 years, and two kids later, I’ve realized he’s the complete definition of a narcissist. He’s a grouchy a**hole 24-7, yells & screams at the kids to “clean his house”, everything we do is wrong, “he’s the only one that can do anything right”, you can’t reason with him because he’s always right, etc. I’ve asked him so many times to sit down & talk with me, he won’t. Because he’s a narcissist, if I leave with our kids he’ll do anything(lie, manipulate) to try to take the kids away. I’m miserable. I don’t know what to do??

Doesn’t sound like a narcissist to me?

Just incompatibility?

He can’t take the kids from you . You are the one in here suggesting taking them from him?

He can lie all he wants.

Why are you worried? Do you want to take the kids from him and why?

Are you being unreasonable by suggesting if “you leave with our kids”?

Why would you do that?

You leave.

You are not powerless and unless he is a super villain no court is going to snatch children away from their mother for no reason, nor will they take a fathers rights away for no reason.

They will punish right fighting though.

Sometimes you have to know when to throw in the towel and work towards a solution. Coparenting sounds like the only option going forward so start the divorce proceedings, get with a mediator ( custody cases aren’t like on TV if the parents are in disagreement they will try their best to do anything they can to avoid an actual court battle) get a custody plan and start to recover and be happy.

Unless you’re just venting.

Which vent away, but at the end of the day you are not forced to stay you are choosing to.

He does not sound like a narcissist, but he does sound emotionally abusive.

Why have you continued to expose your children and you to this Unhealthy environment? You are aware that this is really bad for your children?

What do you get out out of it?

Sorry to hear this. Do you work? Do you co-own/co-rent? Do you have friends and family nearby you can trust?

You don't need a bunch of diagnoses to contact an attorney to discuss your exit plan, moving out, finances, child support/visitation, etc. You also can educate yourself on abusive relationships and the harm you are doing to your kids staying with him.

yells & screams at the kids to “clean his house”, everything we do is wrong,

Why haven't you sought legal advice? Why would you believe he could get the kids, because he said so? Do you work?

He sounds more like a first class azzhole than a narcissist. You need to find a place to go and take the kids with you. Call a lawyer, get legal aid if you cant afford a lawyer.

You need a lawyer and soon u need to move out, its unhealthy and very abusive for you and kids

A father need to be a hero to his kids.

What you do is get proper legal advice and learn your rights and what he can and cannot do.

If you believe that he will lie, manipulate and play vindictive games, be sure to explain that to the attorney as they face these issues all the time and can advise you on how to navigate that as well. In other words, you line up your plan for getting out behind his back and without his knowledge, so when you do leave, he can do little if anything at all.

What's the value in a bunch of cheap seat diagnoses from strangers on the internet when you can get real, practical advice from and attorney or legal aid?

I guess giving him heavy handed labels makes it feel a little more legitimate.

But what matters is how you feel about all of this.

You seem to be in a miserable, no win situation.

What to do? What you tell your best friend or daughter to do?