Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 16 of 16

Thread: Think I'm Bi, or Bi-Curious.. Is There a Difference?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    40,058
    Gender
    Male
    When you tell a therapist that you have fantasies about men's bodies, wonder what a penis tastes like, etc clearly the subject of male-2-male sex will come up. You seem to entertaining yourself with a lot of social labels and semantics. It would be best to discuss your obsessions (homophobia, sexuality, etc) with your therapist rather than indulge it randomly. Many of these labels are for cruising/dating purposes or to keep male-2-male sex on the down low or simply deny homosexual feelings.
    Originally Posted by JCDallas
    has anyone heard of the term hetero romantic bisexual?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,161
    Gender
    Female
    Do you come from a background or family where it's frowned upon to be gay or bisexual? If not then I wouldn't worry too much about what kind of sexuality you have and to what extent. I actually identify as pansexual and I've known I like more than one gender since I was fourteen years old (I'm 35). I've been on the GLBTIQ+ scene since I was 19 and I've met so many different people. I've realised that sexuality can really be anything. And more and more sexuality "labels" are emerging as time goes on. But really you don't even have to label yourself. You can if you want to but if you're not sure then you don't actually have to. You can be anything you want.

    If you wanna try being with men then hey, do it! You only live once. Try it and see how you feel. If you've never been with a male before then maybe you're not sure how it would actually feel and how it would develop your sexuality. I actually think there are bisexual men out there but there has for a long time been a stigma about being bisexual. I know because I've experienced it. But thankfully it seems to be getting better now.

    Regarding whether you can be predominately into one gender even if you're bisexual. Yes, sure. I mean you can even be into one gender for a year then get into another gender the next year lol Sexuality can be fluid. My female best friend is bisexual but she's predominantly into men.

    Personally I'm not sure what it's like to be more attracted to one gender than another because in my own sexuality I don't really see people as a gender. Romantically I mean. When I meet people, I might be attracted to their smile, their vibes, their personality. I've always felt like the actual person is on the inside of the body, who they really are. So I never really cared what body they were in. Male, female, other...I hope I'm making sense.

    Anyway sorry I rambled and good luck :)

  3. #13
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,161
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    You need to get to a doctor for a complete evaluation and a referral to another therapist for a second opinion.
    I sort of have a problem with this comment because someone doesn't need 2-3 therapists to tell them what their sexuality is. It's not the therapists' or any other people's place to be telling/diagnosing the sexuality. It's good for OP to explore about his own sexuality in therapy but that is so HE can come to his own conclusions. Non straight sexuality is no longer considered a mental illness so doesn't need to be diagnosed and so forth. So I think talking to one therapist should be enough for self-exploration. It's not necessary to go for a second opinion because it doesn't matter what their opinion is.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    5,020
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by JCDallas
    I've also done research and find that there's not a whole lot of Bisexual men out there, at least in the places I've looked, it seems like for men it's either one or the other.. I see bisexuality a lot more common in women. I've also seen that women might not be as interested in dating bisexual men. However, I strongly prefer women, and would much prefer to be physical with women & wouldn't hesitate at all if a woman wanted to get physical. but in the end I'm not sure if I'd actually pull the trigger with a man and truly try it out. What do you guys think?
    I suspect that you aren't finding many instances of bisexual men 'out there' because you are currently using porn as your source of research. There's not a lot of porn that showcases bisexual men, it's true. I'm not exactly sure why that is, but I can come up with a few theories.

    Rest assured that intimacy is not limited to porn categories. In other words, porn categories are not inclusive of all forms of intimacy.

    In the actual, tangible world, bisexual men do exist in plenitude. Try exploring internet forums for bisexual people. I'm sure many have the same questions as you do, and there must be forums out there where these questions have been asked and answered.

    If you stick around long enough on this forum, you'll see oodles of threads where a wife discovers gay porn on her husband's phone, or that he's also dating men, etc. And I'm sure a search on this site will turn up posts from men discovering their own bisexuality.

    But I do recommend searching the rest of the internet for bisexual-oriented forums.

    Just because your personal inclinations don't fit neatly into some category doesn't mean that they don't exist and that they shouldn't be explored.

    Good luck.
    Last edited by Jibralta; 04-27-2020 at 08:05 AM.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Posts
    36
    Thanks for your replies, everyone. So A lot has changed since my last post earlier this weekend.. I'm 98% sure I'm straight after this point, and there's maybe 2% chance I Could be bi. I'm now absolutely certain I am not gay, I now know that for a fact. I don't actually stare at men, I don't get crushes on men, I never thought about a certain guy in school or at work, I was always thinking about girls. I don't actually want to be physical with men, and I don't get turned on by men. This is not me denying it. It's the truth. When I was testing the waters over the weekend to see for sure, I matched with one guy on tinder who actually is bi over the weekend who is on the opposite end of my spectrum. I talked about these thoughts. He said one of the pre-reqs to being bi is you actually had to have a real crush on a guy before, and I simply have not, not one time, not even a little. Its not a denial, it's the honest truth. I'd admit it if I did. If somehow in the end, I actually were bi, I'm okay with it, but I strongly believe I'm not. I'm just becoming more noticing and appreciating of men's bodies in general lately and have had intrusive thoughts, just thoughts, that made me somewhat curious, but it doesn't mean I truly want to experience it and I'm not THAT curious. I need to talk to my therapist about this tomorrow, but I think it could be more of a fear of sex with women, fear of hurting the woman, hurting myself, not knowing boundaries, the fear of possibly being accused of harassment or something if the relationship ends after sex happens, because I'm so inexperienced.. The idea of possibly being bi never came from having a crush on a guy, it came from things not working out with multiple women, so this has been a flawed thought from the start. I definitely want to have sex with females, very much so, I have no doubt about that but I have some fears/concerns I need to get over..
    Last edited by JCDallas; 04-27-2020 at 02:20 PM.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    40,058
    Gender
    Male
    Discuss the obsessions with the therapist rather than all the sequelae of those obsessions. See a physician. There are medical treatments that can help and simple talk therapy doesn't seem to be helping you.

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Videos


Maintaining A Strong Relationship

Detaching From a Malignant Man

Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •