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Thread: Do I Have a Chance?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What kind of fitness outfit hires ex con felons? It is your username advertisement? Please warn people that this outfit does not screen people well or do any form of background checks (and he continues to lie and get jobs fraudulently)
    Originally Posted by Fitbean
    he ended up hired at another location with the same company (itís a fitness studio chain).

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    What kind of fitness outfit hires ex con felons? It is your username advertisement? Please warn people that this outfit does not screen people well or do any form of background checks (and he continues to lie and get jobs fraudulently)
    Those MLMs where people open small store fronts to sell "healthy shakes".

  3. #23
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    They are aware of his history, and actually reached out to him because of his history with the company and being really good at what he does and having a good reputation. As I mentioned, he was wrangled into things by his ex best friend who was his boss, who also got many other people involved. My ex only got 10 months while everyone else got 3-5 years. He played a very small role in things which amounted to fraud. I was at his sentencing and the judge even said she felt bad for him but she had to give him ďsomethingĒ. He was very young when the fraud happened and they were under investigation for several years. And no my username is not an advertisement, just my nickname. Wouldnít be a great advertisement talking about all of this!

  4. #24
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    How old was he? Did he know that the behavior was illegal?

    You know this is unhealthy and toxic, yet you are excusing and making him out to be a great guy. Now, this great guy is texting you, while with another. If he wanted to be with you, then why did he get involved with her. And how do you explain all the blame through the relationship.

    What do friends and family say?

    You need to pull your head out of the sand.

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  6. #25
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    Itís an international fitness company which franchises locations. Not a store, itís an actual gym. I really wish people would stop attacking me and the situation. We have all made mistakes in our lives, and if I thought this man was truly a bad person I would not want to be with him. Itís unfortunate that my post has digressed into an attack on my mental health, borderline victim blaming.

    I was hoping for advice on how to reconcile and repair our relationship. I shared all of the nitty gritty details for the sake of outlining the nature of the situation. Not to paint either of us as bad or good. Itís obviously a complex situation and mistakes we made on both sides. He has apologized for his past behavior and has encouraged me to be happier and fulfilled.

    He has continued to support me throughout this crisis by bringing me food every week. He called me last night and this morning to ask about things like food, unemployment, when we will be able to go back to work. Just normal things. He has been as kind as possible despite what he is doing, which is why I have hope that there is still love.

    I am very heartbroken and struggling emotionally, and attacks on my mental health and implying I need help is not necessary or helpful. I would really just appreciate some guidance on steps I can take to repair our relationship and get us back together.

    Thanks :)

  7. #26
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    He was in his early 20s. He didnít necessarily know. His friend was a complete con and manipulated a lot of people.

    We had a lot of issues and he has unresolved resentment towards me because he felt I wasnít there for him and in his mind I cheated I on. The financial hardships I went through and him having to support me took a toll. I fell into a depression because of my career and I wasnít focused on him or doing small things he asked. I recognize that I became very selfish and comfortable because I never thought it was a possibility we would break up. Iím sure this girl is very simple, she has probably had a crush for a long time, and he felt good getting attention. It happens to a lot of people.

    My friends and family think he will come back eventually. His coworkers have reach out to me because they think the situation is really odd. My mom knows all the ins and outs of our relationship and she has always been supportive because she has seen how much he has helped me. He was the one who got me the opportunity for the job at the company we work for.

    I look back and can clearly see mistakes I made, times when I made him not feel appreciated or valued. Iím not defending anything he has done. He has acknowledged his mistakes and the ways he mistreated me.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Both people have to be free and clear of others and both people have to want to reconcile.
    Originally Posted by Fitbean
    steps I can take to repair our relationship and get us back together.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Does his girlfriend know he has you on the side?

    Are you hoping he dumps his current girlfriend to come back to you?

  10. #29
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I'm sorry you feel this has become about your mental health. I haven't seen that, from where I'm sitting, but more about whether it's healthy to be thinking about reconciliation and repair with someone who is in a relationship. Subtract all the other stuffóhis history, yours, your history togetheróand the fact remains that he is in a romantic relationship with someone right now. While I certainly understand the urge to minimize that, it doesn't make it go away, and neither does it make for a very stable foundation for a reunion.

  11. #30
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    Well theyíve only been spending time together for a couple of weeks as far as I know. We broke up about a month ago and continued hanging out for the following 2 weeks (nothing sexual, we did kiss during the first week post-breakup).

    Since I found out and messaged the girl, he has been keeping distance but we still text daily and Iíve seen him twice when he brought me food, and he is bringing me food again today.

    He called me last night and this morning as well. I donít know that she is necessarily his ďgirlfriendĒ at this point. But yes I am hoping it ends soon and he comes back.

    I sent her a messaged when I found out asking how long things had been going on between them, and she never replied and blocked me. So I have no idea if she is aware that he and I still talk and have seen each other.

    As I mentioned, she is only 23 and seems to be naive. He is a very charismatic, handsome and popular guy and has many girls who are is fans. Iím sure she is elated to be getting his attention. Iíve met her many times and worked out with her, even took a picture with her. And she is the type of girl who loves my ex.

    Iíve already forgiven what he is doing, because I did leave at one point and dated other people. I understand why he feels justified. Iím not excusing that he has done something incredibly hurtful. I do believe we are good together despite our past issues. We have had a lot of good in our relationship, a lot of trust and vulnerable on both ends.

    I do hope things end with her. I hope he realizes what he has and can let go of his resentment and we can work towards healing. I obviously canít make him do that, but I hope that it comes in time.

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