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Thread: Should I contact my ex

  1. #1

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    Should I contact my ex

    Hi.. new to this thanks for advice
    I texted mybex boyfriend over month to end relationship with him. He was surprised but i did tell him that he had 2 weeks to fix stuff or i leave. He was hurt but so was i.
    He is very good to me but he is si not mature and doesn't use common sense. I did try to break up with him few times and he would text next day and apologize. This time i left longer and told him why. He tried to keep it working but i told him there is no grounds as i cant find the piece to move on.
    The reason i left him is he kept his exes on his FB. When we first met we established that no one should keep exes around and he agreed and said he doesn't until i found out on my own when i frenend him on FB. It took 2 weeks of arguing back and forth for him to finally realize and delete hos exes and relationship with them. I didn't feel desired by him sexually sometimes and he said he didn't feel to have sex doue to his high blood pressure but i was always there for him when he wanted. It baceme as chore instead of natural..i felt as i couldn't touch him even when he said its not truth but i felt not comfortable anymore.
    The problem is we love each other and we had this huge chemistry. We was so compatible. I dont want to be naive. I have to say i cant forget him and im so struggling with that. I reached out to him 2 weeks ago to see how is he doing with th his virus and if he is ok. He was friendly and nice with me. I don't kjow why i miss him this much knowing what is the problem. I want to contact him so badly but i dont think is right thing. I wish he can contact me first and show me that he corrected situation that killed our relationship. Is it stupid to contact him first?? Should i just move on if so im having hard time to cope.he is always on my mind. Thanks

  2. #2
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    What has happened to make you believe all the issues you two had are now resolved and will not be a problem going forward?

    Being lonely is not a reason to force a relationship because all that will do is result in yet another breakup.

    Another point; he really would have no reason to make changes when you keep breaking up and then coming back. He knows you don't really mean what you say.

  3. #3

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    I mean it what i say.. i guess he will never realize that takes 2 to make relationship work.. i fogave a lot

  4. #4
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Almss2
    I mean it what i say.. i guess he will never realize that takes 2 to make relationship work.. i fogave a lot
    So why do you want to get back together?

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  6. #5

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    Thats Exactly what bothers me.. no matter what I try and do he alway pops in my head. Its exhausting.. part of me wants to text him that i miss him and wish we worked harder on issues but i dont know if is good to do so.. i don't want to look desperate and stupid. I know youll probably say thats what i sound like but what i want to know is how to move on without thinking of him. I don't have friends or family to ask for shoulder to cry. I know i miss our good time together and i see potential in our relationship but it wont work if he don't realize that words are just words. Thank you for replying i appreciate and honesty :)

  7. #6
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    Did you only date him for a month? Or broke up with him a month ago?

    Please clarify how long you dated?
    Thanks.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by Almss2
    We was so compatible.
    From the rest of your post, it seems that you were actually incompatible in some very important ways. But since he already "fixed" the ex issue, what exactly do you expect him to do to fix things? Fix his high blood pressure? Be more sexually active? Unfortunately these are hard to manage and even if he can change, it will probably take longer than two weeks. You have made your decision that you couldn't stay in the relationship as it was. Missing an ex is perfectly normal, especially during this difficult time. Don't backpedal.

  9. #8
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    I think it is very selfish to be reaching out to him unless you want a reconciliation. If you don't want to be with him, then leave him alone.

    Why isn't he allowed to have exs' on FB? Sorry, but that sounds very insecure, unless he was flirting with him. Do you have friends you can speak with?

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. You are chronically telling him to change and dumping him if he doesn't step in line with your excessive control and jealousy. Were you in an abusive home or relationship?

    You are acting like a typical abuser, controlling, possessive, chronically expecting someone to change, chronically breaking up, chronically blaming him. Contact your doctor for a referral to a therapist. With help you can sort out your anger and insecurities. Leave this poor guy alone.
    Originally Posted by Almss2
    I texted mybex boyfriend over month to end relationship with him. He was surprised but i did tell him that he had 2 weeks to fix stuff or i leave.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Almss2
    Thats Exactly what bothers me.. no matter what I try and do he alway pops in my head. Its exhausting.. part of me wants to text him that i miss him and wish we worked harder on issues but i dont know if is good to do so.. i don't want to look desperate and stupid. I know youll probably say thats what i sound like but what i want to know is how to move on without thinking of him. I don't have friends or family to ask for shoulder to cry. I know i miss our good time together and i see potential in our relationship but it wont work if he don't realize that words are just words. Thank you for replying i appreciate and honesty :)
    You have absolutely no family? And zero friends?

    If so, that's why you are convincing yourself you miss him. You don't, you're just desperate for human interaction.


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