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Thread: Found Tinder On My Girlfriends Phone

  1. #1
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    Found Tinder On My Girlfriends Phone

    Firstly thanks you for taking the time to read my post and hopefully help with my issue

    Some background, been together for 3 years (not married) and lived together for 18 months. I have children from a previous relationship. They come to stay with us every other weekend.

    Last Friday I had been out for most of the day at work whereas she was home alone and in the evening I was upstairs doing some housework when I heard her phone ping as it was on charge in our bedroom. It pinged with a unfamiliar sound, I’m used to the whatsapp, instagram twitter sounds but this was different. My intuition told me to have a look, so I pressed the lock button on her phone (Huawei p20) and saw she had lots of different notifications from various apps. However what caught my eye was drawn to what I am 75% sure was the TINDER logo! I couldn’t see the actually content of the message because of the facial recognition on the phone but there was two notifications from what I believe was TINDER.

    I then took myself off and looked at the logo and did some googling on it to be sure I was correct. After doing this I was 90% sure it definitely was Tinder. I then decided to unlock her phone (yes I no, not great) and see if I could locate the app on her phone as the notifications had dissapered with other apps notifications taking there place but there was still a “logo” on the top bar. I failed to find the app on her phone, even after checking folders she had. However my thoughts on this is that she wouldn’t be as so stupid to have it there on her screen if she was being secretive.

    I spoke to my friend about this and he offered to set up a fake tinder account to see if she was on there on several different locations but couldn’t locate her. I know for a fact she used to use Tinder before we met so used to have a profile which I’m guessing could be easily reactivated. I have never used tinder nor a Huawei phone so anyone that has both who could potentially help with what a notification looks like would be amazing???!!!

    My problem is that I am so sure that it was tinder I saw and feel like I should approach her on the matter but I am confident she will deny it. She could have downloaded the app and since deleted it? So therefore me asking and her showing me her phone would therefore show nothing and I also know with Huawei phone there is the option to “hide” certain apps.

    Any thoughts on how to go about this would be really appreciative.

  2. #2
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    why do you suspect her so much, whats causing you to not trust her, has anything happened before?

  3. #3
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    If the app isn't on her phone, then she's not going to get notifications for it on her phone. I think I would wait till you hear a 2nd chime to confirm.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Your earlier thread, in August, documented a lot of anguish and disconnect here. Did you find a way to address any of that, together and productively? I ask because it's hard to read this and see a story of two people who trust each other, and approach conflict in a healthy way.

    I can only speak for myself, but if I was in your shoes right now? I'd be more concerned about my own behavior than whether or not that was a notification from some hidden form of Tinder. You're looking through her phone, enlisting a friend to create an account to spy on her: Is that who you want to be, inside a relationship?

    Ultimately, you come across as focused on proving her guilt. But if you already think she is guilty—be it of being on Tinder, or simply not being committed to the relationship in the way you want and need—then you need to address that as an issue. You talk to her about your feelings, or you decide this is someone with whom you can't feel secure with. Going into detective mode? All that's going to do is ensure some tattered seams keep unraveling.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    The problem is not her phone apps but your overall contempt for her since moving in together and the domestic drudgery. It sounds like you never processed your divorce. All the dating 'fun' ended and back to the same problems as when you were unhappily married.
    Originally Posted by alwaysme30
    ever since we have begun living together things have changed.
    We are not as affectionate, have less sex, we argue more and considerably less romantic.
    In my opinion she is lazy
    She isn't the person who i fell in love with at all
    I am seeing her in a different light and i no longer look at her and feel about her like i used
    lately i feel like in some way i would be better off without her and could start again.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    it unnerves me some that you are very comfortable and overly familiar with the goings on with her phone.
    That and possible a Tinder account and recruiting your friend to snare her.

    These are all symptoms of a larger problem.
    Your time is better spend addressing the state of your relationship then it is being suspicious and conducting some sort of recon mission.
    What if you are wrong?. . then what?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by alwaysme30
    Any thoughts on how to go about this would be really appreciative.
    When you saw the notifications, you should have brought the phone to her and asked her to clarify what you were seeing. Why didn't you do that?

    It strikes me as extra complicated to instead search google, then go to your friend and have your friend set up a tinder account to try and catch her in a lie, and now come to strangers on the internet for Tinder/Huawei notification verification.

    Why don't you cut through all of this nonsense and establish communication with your partner? You share a home and a life. Why are you behaving as though she were a hostile stranger?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    So you broke into her phone and found nothing. You set up a fake account to locate her and found nothing. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, you are still soooo convinced that it had to have been Tinder you saw on her phone.... I mean.....you've got issues. Big ones and your gf using Tinder isn't one of them.

    What's really going on with you?

  10. #9
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    Thanks for those that have replied.

    Our relationship has been alot better and healthier since my last post. And i of course dont want to be that non trusting partner who accuses and snoops etc. However i know what i saw, and i no that you cant get notifications without having the app installed.

    My decision is of course to speak to her about it and try to establish whats happened but going the right way about it without looking i am accusing her and already saying she is guilty despite the evidence. I tried to see if there was any other tinder related items on her phone so it could either confirm or dent my thoughts. And my friend offered to do it after speaking with him it wasnt some sort of hatched plan etc.

    I want to get everything lined up so when i do speak to her asap its all there or not there to be spoken about.

    How i potentially see it is that, if i am right and she had tinder but has since removed it for whatever reason then she could well potentially cover up or lie when I approach her to cover her back

    She hasnt given me any reason previously to not trust her so this is a different scenario to what i have dealt with previously.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What if she did all this to you? It sounds awful to be guilty until proven innocent and constantly be on trail.

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