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Thread: Found Tinder On My Girlfriends Phone

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Originally Posted by alwaysme30
    And i of course dont want to be that non trusting partner who accuses and snoops etc.
    Well, you are that partner. You snooped, and now you're getting ready to accuse.

    Originally Posted by alwaysme30
    However i know what i saw
    No, you don't know what you saw. You googled it and asked a friend because you weren't sure.

    You still aren't 100% sure. So you've even asked here for help on what a Tinder notification looks like on her type of phone.

    You've done everything but ask her what the notifications were for.

    If you really knew what you saw, why not hand the phone to your girlfriend when the notifications were there on the screen and ask her to explain?

    Originally Posted by alwaysme30
    My decision is of course to speak to her about it and try to establish whats happened but going the right way about it without looking i am accusing her and already saying she is guilty despite the evidence.
    That's exactly what it is going to look like because this is exactly what this is: an accusation of guilt. You are gathering evidence behind her back because you believe that she is guilty and untrustworthy.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Originally Posted by alwaysme30
    Thanks for those that have replied.

    And i of course dont want to be that non trusting partner who accuses and snoops etc. And my friend offered to do it after speaking with him it wasnt some sort of hatched plan etc.

    I want to get everything lined up so when i do speak to her asap its all there or not there to be spoken about.
    But you are that non trusting partner that snoops and just because your friend offered -it still makes you culpable.

    You wanted everything lined up so you can speak with her? It's as you want to build a case to justify your spike in insecurity.

    Now all you have is some sort of audible indicator that could have been for just about anything under the sun. I'm glad my bf doesn't go sideways every time my phone pings. .

    You sound a bit paranoid, yet you say she's never given you reason to not trust her.
    If she's never given reason, then she is deserving of your trust.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Originally Posted by alwaysme30
    She hasnt given me any reason previously to not trust her so this is a different scenario to what i have dealt with previously.
    Sounds to me like you didn't heal from whoever betrayed you & your trust...

    Tread lightly friend. Getting all your ducks in a row, all your convicting evidence to confront her... bad idea.

    I have been the victim, the collateral damage, if you will from a partner's partner's mistakes. Not pretty. Not fun.

    As the saying goes you better check yourself before you wreck yourself.

    it is you that you dont trust.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    If you want out of this relationship, just go. You don't need "evidence" of cheating to end it.


  6. #15
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Well I think at this point because you didn't actually find any proof that she's using Tinder, you don't 100% know that was it. To be honest for someone to get notifications from Tinder, the app actually has to be downloaded on the person's phone. If it's just downloaded on the computer and not on the phone, the notifications wouldn't come up. If you really searched the whole phone, surely you would have seen Tinder if it was there? If you're really worried about it then the best thing is definitely just to speak to your girlfriend. And probably try to be gentle and not accusing in your tone. Just saying something like: "I was in the bedroom and heard notifications and couldn't help myself but look and seemed like I saw Tinder". But really you don't know what you saw and you couldn't find any evidence of Tinder. So you need to be careful in how you approach this. Because if I wasn't on Tinder and my partner said they snooped my phone and they were accusing me, I would be pretty annoyed.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    You need 100% proof before you go accusing anyone. You need to be able to see a message to her from a man and that it's 100% from a dating app.

    You should take a screen shot or picture, so you can show her that you have proof.

    Until all of the above happens, you will make yourself look like a fool who is only guessing.

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