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Thread: Struggle to find attraction

  1. #61
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by James1982
    First session today guys and felt good to let it out. Seemed positive so far went through my breakup(S) there has 5 or 6 with my ex...
    I believed my ex was narcissistic and that was also backed up today in my session so that made me feel that I wasnít imagining the behaviour.

    I still miss her and us and canít stop obsessive thinking that she is probably with someone else... but I guess I need a lot more time... and I am trying to fix things and help myself so Iím proud of myself for doing it today

    Thanks
    proud of you, too, James!

  2. #62
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Great to hear, James. Keep leaning in, exploring, feeling through what you're feeling and this new relationship: with yourself, with a therapist.

  3. #63
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    Struggled with it today... didnít enjoy it. Sat not talking for a bit and felt I had to talk so was talking about random stuff.

  4. #64
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by James1982
    Struggled with it today... didnít enjoy it. Sat not talking for a bit and felt I had to talk so was talking about random stuff.
    Hear you.

    My personal take on therapy? It's like going to the gym. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's an excellent release, sometimes it's all about vanity, sometimes it borders on the spiritual. And sometimes (oftentimes?) it is a total and complete drag, from the moment you enter to the moment you leave.

    And yet: even those days when it was a total drag? It was still better that you went to the gym, and ultimately connected to the moments that were fun, relieving, and so onóthe total package that adds up to good blood flow, a bounce in your step, more defined musculature, better habits, whatever.

    Just like bicep curls aren't a cure all to everything, neither is therapy. But it's a thing that can be helpful, worth feeling out a bit.

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  6. #65
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    James,

    I have been away for a while but it is good to see you have been to a few sessions.

    What worked for me was taking notes into the the sessions so I could stay on track. Between the sessions I would make a mental note or a paper note of some things that seemed to be holding me back or affecting me the most and that is what I brought up as soon as I sat down.

    I also asked the therapist for homework. Books I could read or exercises I could do in between the sessions. This helped the most I think. I read two really good books that helped me sort out stuff from growing up with two alcoholic parents and how much it had affected my adult life and perceptions.

    This therapy should not just be about this particular woman, it should be how you got here and why it took so long for you to finally take the big step of ending it forever.

    Keep at it, ask the tough questions you may not want to hear the answers too and be happy that you are moving in a positive direction for your life.

    Trust me, good things are going to come out of all this. I promise

    Lost

  7. #66
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    Had about 7/8 sessions now. Some weeks I think I learned something today and some days I think it was just me getting things off my chest... Iíll stick with it but Iím also going to go to the doctors, Iím still struggling and feel depressed I think I need some help to take the edge off things.

    I donít think Iím learning that much (yet) just I have low self esteem and I shouldnít have... apparently Iím a catch.

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