My Parents not too keen on me meeting my boyfriend

I haven't seen my boyfriend for 6 weeks (due to coronavirus lockdown) now as I live with my elderly parents and my 7 year old son.

Today my sister who lives on her own came over for lunch. She was working at the office up until last week but working from home now.

I asked mum about whether it's OK to visit my boyfriend since my sister is coming over now and she said no coz he's working and lives with flatmates. She said I can't maintain social distance with him.

I was a bit angry as it's ok for my sister to visit and sit right next to my parents at the dinner table (she's visits supermarkets too and so are my parents once a week) , but not ok for me to visit my boyfriend.

I am not sure if this is just an excuse coz they don't like him (since mum had said my relationship won't last as both myself and my boyfriend are not financially stable and he's an expat). They haven't yet met him. Wanted them to meet him at 6 months but they thought it was too early to intoduce him to my son even though his dad is out of the picture.

What are your views?

Their house, their rules. Having your sister over probably isn't the best idea, but I can somewhat understand them making a concession for their own child. Your sister who has been at home alone for a week+ coming over for one meal is significantly different than you going to have intimate contact with your bf who is still working and is basically exposed to whoever else all of his roommates come into contact with. I don't even live with my elderly mother, but I haven't seen the guy I'm dating since the weekend before this all began because I do sometimes have to drop things off to her and don't want to take any unnecessary chances. I guess your mileage may vary depending on how much you care for your parents.

How much do you love and want to keep your parents safe ?

I agree with calichick007. Their house, their rules.

If you want freedom and do as you please, you need strong financial independence and your own home. Until then, you have to respect and honor your parents' unwavering and steadfast stance.

Life isn't fair.

It's true that your boyfriend mingles with society more during this COVID-19 pandemic than your sister. Your boyfriend still works AND has flatmates and who knows where his flatmates have been?

Your parents are elderly and at higher risk for suffering and DYING from COVID-19. Obviously, they don't wish to put themselves at higher risk.

Those are my views.

Living at home with parents and depending on them can set you back into a childhood state. Including sibling rivalry and expecting parental approval of bfs. Be your own person. Your sister can do what she wants as well. Video chat with your bf.

I am not sure if this is just an excuse coz they don't like him (since mum had said my relationship won't last as both myself and my boyfriend are not financially stable and he's an expat).

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. Now my boyfriend definitely doesn't see himself living in my home country for the rest of his life as it's too small and over-populated.

I agree with calichick007. Their house, their rules.

 

If you want freedom and do as you please, you need strong financial independence and your own home. Until then, you have to respect and honor your parents' unwavering and steadfast stance.

 

Life isn't fair.

 

It's true that your boyfriend mingles with society more during this COVID-19 pandemic than your sister. Your boyfriend still works AND has flatmates and who knows where his flatmates have been?

 

Your parents are elderly and at higher risk for suffering and DYING from COVID-19. Obviously, they don't wish to put themselves at higher risk.

 

Those are my views.

I agree completely and if it's partly because they don't like him there's no point in "going there" with them because I think it's entirely reasonable for them to restrict you from seeing him in person at this time, especially in his home. I have an 11 year old son and I would not let him go to anyone's house right now or have anyone from the outside come to our home. He has only seen his friends online since middle of March when his school closed.

Your parent are at risk being elderly. They have no clue who he sees during his week. You guys are not engaged. He is just a boyfriend. When you live in your own place, you can make your rules but for now - you can see him on facetime and through the window. Yes, i also do think its too soon to intro him to your son. I guess you have a choice -- leave your son with your parents and go live with boyfriend and not see your kid at all or deal with it like the rest of us -- i would use this time to see what you do to get financially stable so after this you know what credentials you need to get a job that permits you to have your own place and call your own shots

I have seen my parents one time since this all started - and a glass door seperated us. Its tough for everyone. but that's the way it is

You can wait a few weeks. Why put your elderly parents and CHILD possibly at risk?

If this relationship is the lasting kind, a few weeks won't break it. And not meeting your parents NOW shouldn't break it either.

You can wait a few weeks. Why put your elderly parents and CHILD possibly at risk?

 

If this relationship is the lasting kind, a few weeks won't break it. And not meeting your parents NOW shouldn't break it either.

The more secure you feel or act in the relationship the more accepting your parents will be too.

I say accept their request to hold off. I too think your sister is putting your parents at risk, but that's how elderly minds work. They feel since it's family it should be ok...it's not. Shame on your sister, she should know better.