Should I initiate contact again?

I lost contact with this guy i met online i was getting to know, back in October. I know it will sound bad but i think he was waiting on a call from me then. Life got in the way, work/family etc etc.. but he didnt reach out again either . Forward three months (january 1st)and i thought i would give him a call. I sent a message aswell saying im sorry for the lack of contact, explaining i was busy and if he wants to resume contact id be fine with that.

He replied with "i see".

I just asked what hes been upto and he said hes been busy working and will go away on holiday soon.

I told him my friend tried to set me up with someone but i wasnt interested.

He just straight up then asked me if i liked him and if hes my type. I said sometimes i like him sometimes i dont. ...and then he said he feels like a sandwich. That ended middle of January. Then a few weeks went by where no one said a word. I assumed he was busy maybe packing for his holiday. I then decide to reach out middle of February, whilst he was on holiday i just asked how he is and got no response.

I thought forget this and decided to block him for a few weeks. I unblocked thinking i was being silly then another month went by n i decided to call him on the 24th march, he missed the call but did call back later (which i missed) and messaged aswell saying he thought i deleted his number and i asked why he would think that. To which he replied he messaged me but i didnt respond. I said i didnt receive anything. ( i assume must have been the time i blocked him) .

We finally ended up speaking about four days ago now, it was a two and a half hour conversation. He seemed quite happy that we were finally speaking after so long. Although He kept repeating how i didnt reply to his messages and how comes i decided to contact him after months. I just said it seemed mutual and that we drifted but i think he was implying it was more from my end and that i left him. He said if you found someone and it didnt work out and then you came back to me its fine just let me know. I just said there was no one else, but i guess that is what he assumed. And then he kept saying im cool and unique and an interesting person. Rest of the time he was asking me a multitude of questions about what ive been doing the last couple of months and where have i been. I kind of replied vaguely though i just said times flown by.

Right at the end he asked if i want to see him/meet up, i said i dont mind, and then he said you make it sound like im an option. To which i replied everyone is an option. Following that he said he had to go and eat but it was good talking to me.

That was on Sunday, its now thursday and have not heard from him by text or call

So my question is what now. Should i call again? Even though i was the one who called last?

No do not make any more contact with this guy. You are doing all of the initiating- which tells me he is just not that into you. He will respond back, but makes no effort toward you at all. And you deserve a man that will make an effort to be in your life.

Men will pursue you if they are interested. They will make sure you know. They will call you, make plans to see you, etc. He is not doing any of that. Leave this guy alone for good. If he can go weeks and months without talking to you, he is not the guy for you.

You put a lot of effort into shooting him down, playing games and acting uninterested. Why is that?

No do not make any more contact with this guy. You are doing all of the initiating- which tells me he is just not that into you. He will respond back, but makes no effort toward you at all. And you deserve a man that will make an effort to be in your life.

 

Men will pursue you if they are interested. They will make sure you know. They will call you, make plans to see you, etc. He is not doing any of that. Leave this guy alone for good. If he can go weeks and months without talking to you, he is not the guy for you.

To be honest he did all of the pursuing at the start, and he wanted to progress things. But i was unsure about it and him. I kept in contact via text. But he was saying he doesnt want to be my texting buddy etc. And he left it. He was wanting to get to know me through phonecalls, but i just got into a habit of texting instead of calling.

You put a lot of effort into shooting him down, playing games and acting uninterested. Why is that?

Where did i play games? Or act uninterested? I would say me contacting him on my own surely shows interest.

But if that is how it is coming across maybe its because i don't want him to know too much or have that power over me.

At the same time i am showing a little interest by calling him in the first place.

You know one of the first things he said after our first conversation in months, the one we had on Sunday ? I started talking about how my friend spends tonnes of money on makeup every month ( implying shes got a lot of money). He comes out with can i slide in her dms/snap chat her, while laughing. And i was thinking is he serious. But i just said yeh sure text her. I acted like i wasnt bothered.

This illustrates my point about power and it may get to his head that i like him.

I think u are/were not all that interested in him... A lot of time has passed with only sporadic contact. People who are truly interested in each other stay in touch, get to know each other, build a foundation, start a relationship, etc. You're waffling with his guy and he is questioning your intentions because you are pursuing, but it's lukewarm and cold.

Leave him be. Find someone you genuinely like.

So, you don't want him to know you like him but you want him to like you??

How many times have you met in person?

OP, you are making so many mistakes if you want to actually get to know this man.

Drop the Coy Girl act and honestly ask yourself what you really want out of this. Your intentions are not clear and he is clearly tired of you trying to play hard-to-get. You're not that good at it either, evidently.

Out of curiosity, have you ever met this man in person?

Is he the only guy who'll talk to you? Why are you wasting your time on someone you are indifferent to? Perhaps he is stuck at home as bored as you are but is that all you have in common?

my point about power and it may get to his head that i like him.

You sound like a hassle. If you want to date, then date. But there are better ways to feed your ego than expecting dudes to chase you after you tell them "you wouldn't mind" after they ask you out. You're not doing a guy some big favor meeting up with him. His time, energy, and money are just as valuable as yours. Self-respecting men are going to have very limited patience for that kind of attitude. I know I'd have a good laugh.

imagine you not saying 'you wouldnt mind' and replacing it with 'Yes sure', which one sounds more positive?

You did all the chasing so now it was time to meet, anyways am not sure where you are, its not a good time to meet also due to the pandemic, maybe simple video call

I think u are/were not all that interested in him... A lot of time has passed with only sporadic contact. People who are truly interested in each other stay in touch, get to know each other, build a foundation, start a relationship, etc. You're waffling with his guy and he is questioning your intentions because you are pursuing, but it's lukewarm and cold.

 

Leave him be. Find someone you genuinely like.

I guess if you guys see it like that he will too. I am interested in him otherwise i wouldn't have bothered at all. Im not the type of person who needs someone to pass their time, ive been perfectly happy on my own for a while now.

I only get cold if he gets cold. And fair enough i wasn't that great at calling him but i still always managed to message him. Which is still contact. But he just stopped eventually replying to my messages. Initially he did ask me if hes just my texting buddy ..probably more than a few months ago now. But ive seen him online for hours on WhatsApp. But i guess he couldn't be bothered to whatsapp me

So, you don't want him to know you like him but you want him to like you??

Yes. Well if he showed me he liked me then i would also open up.

On the phone he was complimenting me saying im a unique and interesting person. So i complimented him back saying i prefer him on the phone to how he is on messaging.

You sound like a hassle. If you want to date, then date. But there are better ways to feed your ego than expecting dudes to chase you after you tell them "you wouldn't mind" after they ask you out. You're not doing a guy some big favor meeting up with him. His time, energy, and money are just as valuable as yours. Self-respecting men are going to have very limited patience for that kind of attitude. I know I'd have a good laugh.

I dont want to feed my ego. That is not why i am in touch with him. At the same time i didnt want to sound too eager

That's the thing, the good guys will run and you'll attract the jerks with this hard-to-get princess attitude.

But he just stopped eventually replying to my messages.

Yes. Well if he showed me he liked me then i would also open up.

 

On the phone he was complimenting me saying im a unique and interesting person. So i complimented him back saying i prefer him on the phone to how he is on messaging.

How can you expect him to open up if you won't?

imagine you not saying 'you wouldnt mind' and replacing it with 'Yes sure', which one sounds more positive?

You did all the chasing so now it was time to meet, anyways am not sure where you are, its not a good time to meet also due to the pandemic, maybe simple video call

I know it sounds better but i was put on the spot. I was wondering why he was talking about meeting during the pandemic.

And then after my response he was like im making him sound like an option.

But i think he forgot how he basically said he would slide in to my mates dms when i simply stated she must have a lot of money since she spends a lot on makeup. And tht was right at the start of the conversation. He was laughing at the same time but inside my head i was like . This is how guys get sometimes if they know you lie them. Either way i was like carry on if u want to message her

That's the thing, the good guys will run and you'll attract the jerks with this hard-to-get princess attitude.

Well who even knows if he is a good guy. My friend said what if hes just another narcissist.

He actually had to ask me what my name was. And only after the sundays convo did he decide to save it. At least i knew his name lol.

And ignoring you is 'how guys get' when you act this stuck up.

This is how guys get sometimes if they know you like them.

How can you expect him to open up if you won't?

Well him being the guy i expect it from him first

I lost contact with this guy i met online i was getting to know, back in October. I know it will sound bad but i think he was waiting on a call from me then. Life got in the way, work/family etc etc.. but he didnt reach out again either . Forward three months (january 1st)and i thought i would give him a call. I sent a message aswell saying im sorry for the lack of contact, explaining i was busy and if he wants to resume contact id be fine with that.

He replied with "i see".

I just asked what hes been upto and he said hes been busy working and will go away on holiday soon.

I told him my friend tried to set me up with someone but i wasnt interested.

He just straight up then asked me if i liked him and if hes my type. I said sometimes i like him sometimes i dont. ...and then he said he feels like a sandwich. That ended middle of January. Then a few weeks went by where no one said a word. I assumed he was busy maybe packing for his holiday. I then decide to reach out middle of February, whilst he was on holiday i just asked how he is and got no response.

I thought forget this and decided to block him for a few weeks. I unblocked thinking i was being silly then another month went by n i decided to call him on the 24th march, he missed the call but did call back later (which i missed) and messaged aswell saying he thought i deleted his number and i asked why he would think that. To which he replied he messaged me but i didnt respond. I said i didnt receive anything. ( i assume must have been the time i blocked him) .

 

We finally ended up speaking about four days ago now, it was a two and a half hour conversation. He seemed quite happy that we were finally speaking after so long. Although He kept repeating how i didnt reply to his messages and how comes i decided to contact him after months. I just said it seemed mutual and that we drifted but i think he was implying it was more from my end and that i left him. He said if you found someone and it didnt work out and then you came back to me its fine just let me know. I just said there was no one else, but i guess that is what he assumed. And then he kept saying im cool and unique and an interesting person. Rest of the time he was asking me a multitude of questions about what ive been doing the last couple of months and where have i been. I kind of replied vaguely though i just said times flown by.

 

Right at the end he asked if i want to see him/meet up, i said i dont mind, and then he said you make it sound like im an option. To which i replied everyone is an option. lking to me.

 

That was on Sunday, its now thursday and have not heard from him by text or call

So my question is what now. Should i call again? Even though i was the one who called last?

What do you want from this guy? I agree with someone else's take. You seem to playing coy.

He (was) obviously interested. . you seem to keep setting him to knock him down. Yet you won't call because you are keeping score because you called last?

You say and do things that make him feel played. Mind you, this started last October? Had some guy let 6 months pass and gave me mixed messages, I would move on. I wouldn't blame him if he stopped responding all together.

He will likely move on to someone who knows what they want and is willing to act on it.

Ariel90, I asked this much earlier but you didn't answer so I'll ask again in case you missed it: how many times have you met in person?

Well him being the guy i expect it from him first

Well, how's that working out?

Where are you getting these ideas about "guys"?

Since the "Catch Me If You Can" approach failed, why not present yourself as someone who is interested in dating?

Either way, I have a feeling this ship has sailed, and it's time to walk away with the lesson in your pocket.