sudden stop in communication

It seems odd that what seems an otherwise continued communication would halt. I mean maybe i was thick headed and wasn't seeing the sign of an eventual stop. The communication was usually as follows: i would text a few rounds and the other party wouldn't get back until a week later. The reason he gave was because he was busy with work. Then on the last time, I sent him a photo of me and updated my facebook messenger profile photo. Nothing else seems to have been drastically changed as the content in communication was more or less the same. Could it have had anything to do with the photo? Its now on the third week and i am thinking i might not hear from him again. Is it possible to just give it time? I don't know what to do here. Part of me wants to keep texting, but the other part of me wants to not text because that could annoy anyone. Please give advice and suggestions. I'm at a lost with this one and fear the worst.

Is this the guy you've been trying to get back together with for 2.5 years?

Isn't he normally not super responsive?

Chiral, I am guessing it's the same ex you posted about here: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=564196

You need to take the hint and stop communicating with him. He doesn't want to be friends but he doesn't have the heart to tell you to leave him alone.

He's not coming back.

Its not the same person, hence why its a different thread.

Its not the same person, hence why its a different thread.

Then this is even further evidence that you have trouble letting go, if this is the second guy you're still trying to communicate with after a break-up.

How long have you been broken up from the man you're describing here?

Its been several months. I don't get how people can give up on others just like that. I guess its a bit different cause i blame myself for the separation. I said some hurtful comments that aren't me and i don't know what got into me to be like that. I feel awful about it.

It's not a question of giving up on someone. I understand that you struggle to accept this, based on both this thread and your previous one, but it's not a healthy way to frame it.

It's a matter of walking away when it's not right for us anymore. Your exes both decided that it wasn't the right choice to continue. Whether or not you agree or feel it's fair isn't really part of the equation, to be very honest. It's their prerogative to part ways if they choose.

Your own feelings of guilt for the way things ended are yours to resolve. They can't make it better. But it might help if you talk about here, where we don't have a particular bias. What happened that led to the break-up?

Its been several months. I don't get how people can give up on others just like that. I guess its a bit different cause i blame myself for the separation. I said some hurtful comments that aren't me and i don't know what got into me to be like that. I feel awful about it.

You gave up the minute you said hurtful comments. There is no going back from that.

Why is it so hard for you to understand that people walk away from something that just isn’t right? Its called being realistic. Not giving up on someone.

There is always good reason to walk away from something that just isn’t working, there is never a good reason to make hurtful comments.

That is you? So change it?

Sorry to hear this. It's never "just like that". Breakups are a result of sustained incompatibility, unhappiness, etc until staying is more painful than leaving. Then one person breaks up. Let it go. It didn't work. Get help if you have issues with anger, lashing out etc or this pattern will repeat itself.

I don't get how people can give up on others just like that. I said some hurtful comments

 

It's a matter of walking away when it's not right for us anymore. Your exes both decided that it wasn't the right choice to continue. Whether or not you agree or feel it's fair isn't really part of the equation, to be very honest. It's their prerogative to part ways if they choose.

Exactly this. If one person doesn't want to be in a relationship, then you're not in a relationship.

Does it hurt? Is it hard? Can it be messed up?

YES!

If you did or said things you did not mean, take the lesson and work on yourself to control yourself. Think before you speak or act not after.

Also- anyone that takes a week to text back, you should not be texting at all. You are wasting your time.

Here is the hard, cold truth: He is no longer interested. Sorry, I'm not trying to be mean. But you need to use some common sense and leave this guy alone. He did communicate with you by not responding. Muster up some self respect and move on. Nobody is that busy that they are unable to communicate IF they were interested. Stop pestering this guy, for you sake and his. It has nothing to do with the photo.

I don't get how people can give up on others just like that.

Giving up what? A desire to manipulate someone into opening a door that they've closed?

Respecting someone else's limits might not feel great for the ego, but the only thing we're really giving up is a fantasy about controlling outcomes. They've already done the rest.

Yes, people give up just like that. Either they are in or out. And this person is certainly out. Have you experienced the genuine pursuit of you that you feel it in your being? Its a happy place to be. This one is not.

He texted back, but nothing of great value. Still, he texted back.

You need to let go.

It’s clear he’s not interested and likely only responds to be polite. Between him and your other ex, what’s with the desperation to hang on to guys who broke up with you?

Ignoring the gross obscenity for a moment, in which way do you feel you blew this?

Seriously? thats how you talk and consider and value yourself?

Its pretty foul.... Sounds like he didnt want anyway...

It was a series of them actually. I do admit they were actually quite childish of me at the time. But i also think he might have been selfish. The first one i can recall was when he did not invite me to go with him to see this one guy who was going to teach him about passive income. He wanted to go alone and I told him I wanted to go to which he responds that he thinks its best he goes alone. I didn't like this because as usual he had done it his way. I said i wanted a breakup and he responds that he will give me the breakup to which i then say i didnt mean it. Fast forward to another episode where his respond declines from instantly to several hours and i lose my patience to which i say that this is not what i signed up for and that i wanted a split. He again mirrors me and says that he wants a split to which again i come to my senses and then say that i didnt mean it. One time he was happy about the resume he had completed and had made this fun dance to which i shook my head and said that he needed to man up that it was too sissy and that hurt him because i should have been happy for him. He criticized my cleanliness and i began to do the same. I think i shouted at him unfairly a number of times in order to get my point across. He called me dumb a few times, which i hadn't done anything about but did keep it in mind. I think it added to the eventual lashing back in the above as i had enough of him doing things his way and these others. And so forth... and the biggest one was probably that he thought i cheated on him when in reality i didnt but played along to create healthy jealousy. It backfired.

OP, how old are you? Sincere question.

Sounds like a nightmare of fighting and games. Be glad you are broken up.

I said i wanted a breakup

he needed to man up that it was too sissy

He criticized my cleanliness and i began to do the same.

i shouted at him unfairly a number of times in order to get my point across.

He called me dumb a few times

he thought i cheated on him when in reality i didnt but played along to create healthy jealousy.

33 years old

33 years old

And have your relationships generally always been this turbulent?

Basing my opinion on this thread and the last one, there seems to be a pattern of emotional turmoil and difficulty letting go when something clearly isn't working.

Not with friends, no. Not with family, no.

On a phone call, a while back he was saying that its not working or we're not compatible and that he would just throw it in the trash or something to that. Yeah, i think back and think what a waste of energy and time. The idiot had already found a rebound and was already reprogramming his mind to detach without telling me. So he had a super advantage all along. He kept using dating apps throughout our relationship and i should have known better that, that was no good. But like I didn't want to show insecurity or anything, so I continued to ignore it.

do you find it tough to cut contact altogether? let him think what he wants to, do what he wants to, the whole experience feels quite unhealthy, need to take care of your emotional well being at the moment it seems all over the place, he is hurting you and you are hurting him. Block and delete him and all those contacts for now that take you through this emotional roller coaster and control yourself to not engage them for a long long time. Controlling is not easy but you need to break this cycle for your health.