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Thread: Heartbroken and Devastated

  1. #71
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You will never heal if you keep blaming yourself instead of seeing that it was her who is flawed and doesn't know how to love and support a partner during good times and during bad times.

    Stop placing her on some kind of imaginary pedestal. She was not a good partner. Not for you, not for anyone.

    I actually feel sorry for the man she dates next, because the moment he runs into a bad time, she will run and do to him, exactly what she's done to you.

  2. #72
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    You will never heal if you keep blaming yourself instead of seeing that it was her who is flawed and doesn't know how to love and support a partner during good times and during bad times.

    Stop placing her on some kind of imaginary pedestal. She was not a good partner. Not for you, not for anyone.

    I actually feel sorry for the man she dates next, because the moment he runs into a bad time, she will run and do to him, exactly what she's done to you.
    Thanks. I think sheís paired up with someone. Makes me angry and she got lucky she met someone before the pandemic. Ugh.

  3. #73
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    Hi all. I found out sheís got a new boyfriend. Iím just devastated. He seems super positive and light and fun. I donít know him at all though. I feel like she just saw me as depressed and dark and disturbed. All my negative qualities that were momentary. Iím so dejected. I canít breathe. I know I need to move on but I canít and this is killing me and making me feel so inferior. I feel weak. Like Iím not a man and couldnít be the stable, positive partner she wants.
    ​​​​​​​

    i canít focus on work and just am so freaked out. I canít take this anymore. And feel like I have to reach out even though I know I canít. My therapists canít seem to help me to move on and Iím just freaked out.

  4. #74
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    I'm sorry Ray....

    This does hurt and bring up all those inferior feelings.

    Be kind to yourself. I know its hard to accept, but your future lies elsewhere. There will always be people that misunderstand or don't see our value.

    It's gonna be ok. In time you can and will meet someone better and you'll be in a better headspace to see this more objectively.

    This is not the end of your story....

    Hang in there... (hugs)

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  6. #75
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. How did you find out about this? Try to separate preexisting depression/anxiety from the breakup.
    Originally Posted by rayj83
    I found out sheís got a new boyfriend.

    My therapists canít seem to help me to move on and Iím just freaked out.

  7. #76
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    Donít know for sure but itís all over social media in terms of them hanging out, liking each otherís posts. Even when I tried to reach out for the last time 5-6 weeks ago and was told not to contact her anymore - I mean I felt she wouldnít do that unless she was with someone. I donít know.

    This guy just seems like the life of the party from watching his social media - fun, light, jovial. Everything I wasnít in those moments

  8. #77
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    Donít see it right now. Just desperate to fix things with her. I scared her away.

  9. #78
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    OP, you really need to stop blaming yourself.

    You don't have that much influence on her or this situation.

  10. #79
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    OP, you really need to stop blaming yourself.

    You don't have that much influence on her or this situation.
    I recognize that. But Iím just so stuck and canít focus on work, taking care of myself, etc... The fact that this guy basically is my exact opposite From what I can gather (superficially fun/light, Incredibly social with everybody, videos of him constantly doing stupid things like dancing, etc...) reinforces everything I was missing and the times I scared her away and how I should have been better.

  11. #80
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Please stop torturing yourself by looking at social media. Give yourself self love, not self hatred.

    You are not a horrible person. Far from it.

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