Breadcrumbing from the dumper

So guys, my ex broke up with me 5 months ago, sporadically texted me throught this time.

I am in no contact for around 1.5 months now. 2 weeks ago he texted me using his daughter and when I replied expressing empathy, he vanished into thin air and didn't respond (which made me think it's some kind of breadcrumbing (especially that he talks about his daughter as he knows I liked her, to mabey test me if and how I would respond)

So 2 weeks later he yesterday he reached out: "Hi Jessi , I wish you a great Easter holiday ☺️".

4 hours later I responded: "thanks, to you too ☺️. Happy birthday by the way"

His response:

"Hey, thanks that you were thinking of me 😍".

It is a somewhat strange day, but I am happy to see how happy my daughter about the Easter bunny and everything"

I didn't reply and don't plan to as this also seems to be another attempt to breadcrumb me...

Has anyone of you had those kind of breadcrumbs from the dumper before? And is it the right decision to not respond?

Sorry to hear this. How long were you dating? What was the breakup about? It was an Easter greeting, you responded so that's enough.

S

"Hi Jessi , I wish you a great Easter holiday ☺️".

4 hours later I responded: "thanks, to you too ☺️. Happy birthday by the way"

His response:

"Hey, thanks that you were thinking of me 😍".

It is a somewhat strange day, but I am happy to see how happy my daughter about the Easter bunny and everything"

We were together for 11 months. Breakup was about me being unconscious about anxiety issuesand an anxious attachment style which led to lots of discussions until after the breakup .

Well I didn't respond after his last message - this one: ("hey, thanks that you were thinking of me😍,....." )

I do think it was just a test to see if he was able to get a response.

Further confirmed by his comment thanks for thinking of me.

This is all ego. He is a wack job that wants to know he can get your attention.

I'd keep ignoring him. And if he texts again, I'd ask him to stop. Or just block him now...

Who needs breadcrumbs from a wishy washy guy, a father no less.

A truly respectable person does not jerk us around. (hot- cold, randomly reaching out) And there is not need to keep them around.

Raise your standards & you'll find better guys.

Why not block and delete this guy? That would solve your problem.

Why not block and delete this guy? That would solve your problem.

Already deleted the Whatsappchat and his number for now.

Already deleted the Whatsappchat and his number for now.

Yeah, stop responding for sure and just leave him deleted and blocked. Totally right thing to do.

What he is doing isn't even breadcrumbs, it's pure ego stroking. Look at what he is saying. He prompted you with an Easter greeting, you responded like any normal decent person would and he spun that around into "oh look she is still thinking about me." Like wth? Dude has major ego issues and is super manipulative. Looks like you dodged a bullet with the break up here to be honest. A lucky escape for you, so yeah, don't respond and otherwise avoid him like the plague.

What he is doing isn't even breadcrumbs, it's pure ego stroking. Look at what he is saying. He prompted you with an Easter greeting, you responded like any normal decent person would and he spun that around into "oh look she is still thinking about me." Like wth?

Exactly what I was thinking.

I mean, at least the guy is naked with showing who he is really into: himself. But if you're interested in being with a partner who is into you too? Not this guy, not how he's constructed. Take this little exchange as a reminder of that, close the door, feel what you need feel, and thank yourself later.

Yeah, stop responding for sure and just leave him deleted and blocked. Totally right thing to do.

 

What he is doing isn't even breadcrumbs, it's pure ego stroking. Look at what he is saying. He prompted you with an Easter greeting, you responded like any normal decent person would and he spun that around into "oh look she is still thinking about me." Like wth? Dude has major ego issues and is super manipulative. Looks like you dodged a bullet with the break up here to be honest. A lucky escape for you, so yeah, don't respond and otherwise avoid him like the plague.

This "hey, thanks that you were thinking of me 😍" was regarding my birthday wishes but yeah realized I should have just ignored the fact that it was his birthday yesterday too.

He sent out the bait, and you took a bite. Mission accomplished!

I'm sorry this happened, yet this gives you a heads up as to what he's made of. Lesson learned, you deserve much better.

He sent out the bait, and you took a bite. Mission accomplished!

 

I'm sorry this happened, yet this gives you a heads up as to what he's made of. Lesson learned, you deserve much better.

How exactly do you mean that?

How exactly do you mean that?

In other words, as others have said, this was a boost to his ego. He also set you up so to speak, while knowing he'd likely get a response.

My response was not meant to sound offensive. Hopefully that was not the way you took it.

Not answering for HeartGoesOn, but from the sidelines it looks like this:

He pokes at you when he feels like it (the bait) and you generally respond (the bite). As his response to you made crystal clear, his primary goal of this fishing trip (the catch) is to know that you are still thinking about him. History has shown that when he gets that, he fades out, fading back in when he gets hungry again.

Important question is: Does feeding him leave you feeling full, or a bit starved? If full, proceed as is. If starved, let this whole thing go.

He sent out the bait, and you took a bite. Mission accomplished!

 

I'm sorry this happened, yet this gives you a heads up as to what he's made of. Lesson learned, you deserve much better.

In other words, as others have said, this was a boost to his ego. He also set you up so to speak, while knowing he'd likely get a response.

 

My response was not meant to sound offensive. Hopefully that was not the way you took it.

No probably that was what I NEEDED to hear. Didn't reply, deleted WhatsApp chat plus his number after his response so no way I'd keep feeding his freaking ego. First I thought it was nice because of the Easter holidays as he also sent me happy santa clause and merry Xmas (which of course was closer to the breakup)

Not answering for HeartGoesOn, but from the sidelines it looks like this:

 

He pokes at you when he feels like it (the bait) and you generally respond (the bite). As his response to you made crystal clear, his primary goal of this fishing trip (the catch) is to know that you are still thinking about him. History has shown that when he gets that, he fades out, fading back in when he gets hungry again.

 

Important question is: Does feeding him leave you feeling full, or a bit starved? If full, proceed as is. If starved, let this whole thing go.

Thank you Blue, for explaining that much better that I could. Much appreciated.

He sent out the bait, and you took a bite. Mission accomplished!

 

I'm sorry this happened, yet this gives you a heads up as to what he's made of. Lesson learned, you deserve much better.

Not answering for HeartGoesOn, but from the sidelines it looks like this:

 

He pokes at you when he feels like it (the bait) and you generally respond (the bite). As his response to you made crystal clear, his primary goal of this fishing trip (the catch) is to know that you are still thinking about him. History has shown that when he gets that, he fades out, fading back in when he gets hungry again.

 

Important question is: Does feeding him leave you feeling full, or a bit starved? If full, proceed as is. If starved, let this whole thing go.

Well I definitely don't feel full (who would) and this 😍 emoji after his thanks text didn't make m, heart skip a beat anymore. I figured that he might be trying to achieve any further response through texts about his daughter because frankly the past 3 texts when he texted were about his daughter and when I responded he didn't care what I had to say about my life but rather that I emphasize to the daughter text which I got along well and vanished into thin air. Even though he told me lots of changes at work and super stressful he would have had the time to respond to the response about what's new in my life 2 weeks ago last weekend before Easter as he didn't see the daughter and was home but he didn't. Which really makes me assume he might use the daughter to catch an extra reaction from me because let's be honest which dumper would send texts about his daughter and share nothing personal instead if he might not slowly feel the consequences of the breakup. And would try to reach a reaction from daughter texts instead of talking about personal life? From my oppinion he tries either to show me how awesome life is and he doesn't need me (through texts of daughter) or he tries compensate any negative feelings he might experience 5 months after the breakup and feeling the consequences of dumping an awesome woman like me..

[And one thing is for sure: since I deleted chat and number there is NO WAY I will respond to the daughter reply (as written in my previous post. ) I won't keep up with this anymore and if he has a bit of serious invention he will reach out again and not via breadcrumbs /manipulation whatsoever. I am not responsible for his freaking well being anymore

It would be best to recognize that you weren't compatible and let things go. Why leave the door open? When you delete him and all his people from all your messaging apps, social media and devices, you'll feel better and have a sense of closure. You can also start to focus on moving forward and start talking to other men.

Did he label you with this attachment style? He's not a doctor so whatever the reason is he broke up, it would be best, if you do feel anxious or are having any difficulties, to contact your doctor and get a referral yo a therapist to sort feelings out.

We were together for 11 months. Breakup was about me being unconscious about anxiety issues and an anxious attachment style which led to lots of discussions until after the breakup .

For what it's worth? I don't think any good comes from this kind of analysis. Just gives him way too much power, at the expense of your own.

Simplify it: he is reaching out, mentioning his daughter, deploying some emojis, and whatever, because...he felt like it. Nothing more, nothing less. Him, being himself. Then you get to think about how that makes you feel and whether you want to keep yourself open to this contact. There's no wrong answer, but simply the one that is right and true, to you.

I have one relationship in my life that has been exactly like this since basically forever. It's with my father. He hits me up here and there, then fades out. Is what it is. I engage with him when I feel like it (when it fills me up) and disengage when I don't (when it empties me out). If he was a woman I was with for 11 months? I'd never talk to him again, because he's just very limited in his emotional bandwidth. But he's half my DNA, I'm genetically programmed to love him, so I've learned to do the dance in a way that doesn't make me feel like I'm tripping over my own toes.

He sent out the bait, and you took a bite. Mission accomplished!

 

I'm sorry this happened, yet this gives you a heads up as to what he's made of. Lesson learned, you deserve much better.

It would be best to recognize that you weren't compatible and let things go. Why leave the door open? When you delete him and all his people from all your messaging apps, social media and devices, you'll feel better and have a sense of closure. You can also start to focus on moving forward and start talking to other men.

 

Did he label you with this attachment style? He's not a doctor so whatever the reason is he broke up, it would be best, if you do feel anxious or are having any difficulties, to contact your doctor and get a referral yo a therapist to sort feelings out.

My therapist figured out I have an anxious attachment style but after the breakup