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Thread: My ex can't decide between me and another guy

  1. #1

    My ex can't decide between me and another guy

    my daughters mother and ex girlfriend and I were together for about 3 years before she broke up with me, she had every right too, I was immature and controlling and making a lot of stupid decisions well she left me about 4 years ago she found someone else about 2 years ago and had a child with him well about 5 months ago they broke up and she noticed that i had made some big improvements and life changes and started talking to me claiming she still had feelings for me, I talked to her but never took it that serious, she broke my heart before and I knew i still had feelings for her so I was keeping my guard up and ignoring the feelings even though she was basically begging me to be with her, well this lasted up until about 3 weeks ago when I found out she started talking to her ex again and that's when it really hit me i realized I was about to lose her and told her how I really felt and about my feelings I have for her, well now she doesn't know what she wants, she can't choose between me and her recent ex, she told me that she's scared that I just want to be with her because she started talking back to her ex and scared that I'm not gonna follow through with everything I've told her, so now she can't decide who to pick , the other guy doesn't know anything about the situation and part of me thinks that if I really care about her I should fight for her but another part of me thinks I'm stupid, please someone give me some advice

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Step back, focus on co-parenting until she is clear on what is going on with her.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Step back, focus on co-parenting until she is clear on what is going on with her.
    This^^^ And I'll add, until its clear what's going on with you.

    You're playing little games with each other. You let her beg and decided the risk was too great. She removed the offer, now you're panicky and she's confused....

    That's not love... Its fear and ego.

    You made your decision. Stick with it. If you really wanted to be with her, you would have been when she came back.

    If you weren't co-parents, would you even know each other now?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    When a person doesn't feel 100 percent confident in being with you, leave them alone. Go back to only having discussions involving co-parenting and explain that to her, if she crosses boundaries by talking about feelings, her ex, or anything that doesn't involve your child. Could be that she's just desperate for male companionship, because she's going to have a really hard time finding a man to date her when she has two very young children by two different fathers. I know if I was a guy looking to date, I'd take a hard pass on her.

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  6. #5
    I think a part of me was upset at her for leaving me and also was trying not to get my heart broke again by acting like I didn't care but now I don't care if I get hurt i love her and I want to be with her

  7. #6
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    Um, dude, you already lost her years ago.

    This begging she is doing now? It is strictly about finding someone to pay the bills.

    Don't be foolish.

    Yes, you have to co-parent, but romance and a life with her? No. She is not that into you.

    Nor should you be into her.

    It is time for you to refocus your romantic interests elsewhere. Trying to be with someone who hedges her bets like this is folly.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    She's scared alright...scared of being alone...that's the only reason why she came out of the woodwork looking for you. Her motives are not romantic, but for survival. Ever hear of rebounds? She just wanted comfort, and she bounced right back to her ex.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Step back, focus on co-parenting until she is clear on what is going on with her.
    That's one long run on sentence.

    Read the above advice. She has no idea what she's doing.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    She used you as a soft place to fall. After only 3 weeks she runs back to the ex. She says she can't decide, but the truth probably is wants to put you on a shelf just in case it doesn't work out again.
    This isn't love. This is selfish. She's merely afraid of being alone and doesn't think anything of monkey branching from one daddy to another.
    In situations such as this, had you two reconciled it would just be a matter of time before she found someone else.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    No deal. She is indecisive so let her have her ex. In the meantime, concentrate on being a good father. That's it.

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