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Thread: What happens if she thinks he's cute but he doesn't meet her requirements?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lambert
    Instead, put your energy into finding someone that meets YOUR criteria... ie a woman that isn't hung up on the one thing that cant be changed.
    Yep. It makes no senes to try to market yourself like laundry detergent to the masses when all you're really looking for is one right match.

    So? What are YOUR requirements? Don't you want to hold out for great simpatico with someone who 'gets you' and shares your vision of the world and yourself? If so, skip the tap-dance around anyone with whom this is not possible, and focus instead on appreciating your own unique value for the RIGHT person.

    Flip your idea of rejection as being about the limited vision of someone who doesn't see through the right lens rather than as being any reflection on you. Focus on who you are, stay true to that, and screen OUT anyone who wouldn't make a good match FOR YOU.

    Head high, and you'll thank yourself later.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Grizzly584

    I did "luck out" in the facial-aesthetics department (not bragging, as you'll see..just explaining the circumstances). So I almost always get the stunned/attractive eyes from girls/women, repeated eye contact, etc. And they're almost always eager & willing to converse initially.
    It's not your height that is the problem. Height falls in the same category as looks. If they are "almost always eager & willing to converse initially" then height is not what gets you rejected down the line. Most likely it's something that comes up during your conversations. If your attitude and what you say come off as negative in some way, that can kill off the initial attraction and get you rejected. And yes, some women will reject you if they find out down the line that your job/income is not to their liking but my guess is that you wouldn't want to end up with a gold digger/snob either so it's for the better and it's not really something you can foresee.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Character and job (income). Focus on those instead of height.

    Character is enduring and women want an easy, smooth, harmonious relationship with a man. Job (income) is important because no woman wants a life of financial struggle with you. Financial hardship is not fun. No brainer there and it's not rocket science. It's common sense.

    Height doesn't matter. Concentrate on what is important.

  4. #14
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    I am a woman and honestly if i saw a guy out in public i would not be able to properly guess whether he was 5' 9" or actually 5' 8". It would be impossible for me to really tell the difference. You are of average height. That's not your problem.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Nothing's more frustrating than having things seem good and then disappear out of the blue. So I'm hoping I can get an idea of how to spot and prevent it ahead of time.

    If things seem good, then no, what is there to spot? Unfortunately, nobody has a crystal ball. Having an attractive face is a plus, but that'll only get you entry. No guarantee you'll be allowed to stay. It usually takes dating a boatload of people to find one who is a good match. After my first marriage ended, I had to go on dates with about 30 men before I found my future husband. Because when you think about it, it's rarer to find someone where you both share chemistry, and you both meet each other's must-haves.

    I don't know what your reclusive life is like, but a partner won't want to be the sole center of your universe, because that is smothering. If she sees that you don't have friends you hang out with, and hobbies and interests you're passionate about, that'll be a red flag for her. As far as looks, a person with a blah or negative persona will negate their good looks, and a person with a winning personality and positive outlook will boost their looks. Confidence is the biggest attractor.

    People's preferences for physical traits are so individual, it's useless to even think about it. One guy was telling me he was set up with a woman who looked like a model, but when they went to the beach and he saw her in a bikini, he couldn't get past her weird belly button. And then he married a big boned, chubby lady, whereas some guys aren't interest in chubby ladies, and a weird belly button would be okay with them. LOL

    When I did OLD, if I hoped for more dates with a guy but he faded away, sure, I briefly wondered what it was about me he didn't click with, but never dwelled on it and never asked him. For one, maybe I wasn't feminine enough. For another, maybe he didn't find me to be interesting conversationally. It really was a mute point, as it left me free to find a guy who was excited about me.

    Another turn-off for a woman might be getting the sense that a guy is projecting into the future, thinking "she's the one" far too soon. Even if a person doesn't express this, a certain vibe is felt, so make sure you takes things with a one day at a time attitude.

    If you do happen to have a female friend or a guy friend with a girlfriend, I would ask them for an honest opinion (and don't bite their heads off when they give it) as to what they observe about your behavior around others. Perhaps they see something you could work on for better results. Because focusing on height is like putting on blinders. You're very likely not seeing the big picture and making wrong assumptions about one single element. Good luck.

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