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Thread: Best friend getting involved and lying?

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Apr 2020

    Best friend getting involved and lying?

    So my best friend since kindergarten got involved in a personal issue of mine and lied to me and idk what to do.

    In short I had a friend I was super close, traveled with to uni even and lived together , but we ended breaking it off since we were toxic for each other.
    Anyway she reached out to me recently thru the phone and weve been in touch, chatting daily, up on the phone till morning, shed confide in me about her problems and once sent me some old seductive videos of her (and lied about dating a guy and needing my advice, which was the only red flag I saw so far but I managed to handle it). And said shed come visit me at my new flat where I currently live alone after quarantine.
    So I assumed we were back friends and that she trusted me.. after 2 years hiatus. When I asked her for clarification she said we cant be friends but shed be there when I needed her.
    Anyway so I confided i! my best friend who was aware of our drama and as always shed say end it end it. I said I dont want to duh I missed her. Anywho my best friend ended up calling her and saying this arrangement wont work and itll hurt me more as I had self harmed the previous night (claiming it was because of her, but it wasnt) . My best friend told her shes paying for my rent and taking care of me and doesnt need anyone to break me again.
    Then That friend sent me a text saying we need to quit this and shouldnt be in each other lives. I resisted saying I can change and be better .. I was pissed because I tried to reconcile with her for the past 2 years. Even had given her a necklace which she sent a phot and told me she wears it cuz it reminds her of me.
    So a while later I received a message from her saying I had to let go for both of us.

    I figured its my best friend because a) the spelling abbreviations. b) no capitals (which my bf turned of) c) double spaced. d) the manner itself.

    When I confronted her she kept denying it and I had a chance to move on and should let it go.
    Im shocked because this was never her nature, she never lied to me all those years. Though I see what shes trying to do and where shes coming from I do not tolerate dishonesty and backbiting
    I dont like being lied to or games being played. I feel cheated and betrayed and alone. Im diagnosed with BPD and sometimes my emotions are all over but Ive been recovering lately. And I dont want to be treated like Im unstable
    Advice please x

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    Please step way back from these people. Reach out to other friends, family, coworkers, classmate, your bf, etc. Delete and block both of them from all your messaging apps and social media.

    You need to review things with your doctors and therapists and get things under better control. Talk to happy healthy people and stay away from crazy drama and gossip and catfights.
    Originally Posted by Katie19
    I had self harmed the previous night. Im diagnosed with BPD and sometimes my emotions are all over

  3. #3
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Surrey BC, Canada
    You can't change what happened but you do have control over who you choose to keep in your life...You do need to let them go. Toxic people make your life toxic. Dwelling on what has transpired is a waste of time...just be done with them and go forward.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Ontario Canada
    You need new friends!


  6. #5
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Once a liar, always a liar. Never trust liars. Same with manipulators, gaslighters, deceitful types, those who will betray your trust, sociopaths, narcissists, cynical types and the whole ugly lot. Tell your friend that it's time to go your separate ways. If bad friends are relentless, ghost, block and delete them forever.

    Surround yourself with only very moral people who possess integrity. Everyone else should take a long walk on a short pier! Be a good judge of character and save yourself. You have every right to judge questionable characters because no one else cars about your welfare except you. Make sure your radar is up always. Become a highly perceptive person and you'll have an overall happier life. Learn how to protect yourself always.


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