Jump to content

Mentally unstable spouse and scared?


Superconfuse

Recommended Posts

I (23) have been dating this guy (25) for over a year, and it’s never been successful, it started out that he didn’t tell me he had a baby (under a year old when we met), he would ask me sexual questions about my past and berate me for my answers, and still does.

Most recently his issue has been that I’ve not been sexually forthcoming to him, which angers him considerably (never physically) I’ve tried to explain that I’m feeling Incredibly stressed and so I just don’t feel sexy, though he thinks because I’m stressed I’m therefore ‘punishing’ him because he doesn’t get sex.

I know that what he is saying is wrong and I have started to resent him in many ways, though every time I try to break up with him, he threatens to send nude photos to my family, to post our private conversations online to make me ‘look bad’ and pre-covid would say he would come to my house in the middle of the night to argue, obviously waking up my parents. (To my knowledge he’s never followed through with these things).

I feel so trapped in a relationship I don’t want anymore, but I keep going because I don’t feel strong enough to go through what he might do, the photos etc.

Any advice on how best to handle this breakup would be much appreciated,

 

Confused

Link to comment

How can he be your "spouse" if you are dating?

 

You end things. Now. You should have ended it when you found out about the kid. Stop making the excuse not to end things because of what he might do. You are just going to continue to allow this guy to treat you like sh^t and emotionally abuse you? That makes no sense.

 

Tell your parents what is going on and they will help you. Block and delete him. If he sends anything or tries to contact you, get a restraining order. Do something!!

 

Lastly, no more nudes.

Link to comment

What he is threatening is a crime, so I doubt he'd actually do anything. More an empty threat to keep you under his control and abuse.

 

You do need to break up with him. Don't do it in person. Do it via text. Don't even talk to him. Any threats he makes back in text is for your record. If he tries to harm you by posting anything online or sending things to your family, you can go to authorities and press charges against him. Be careful what you say to him so keep it simple "I'm sorry this relationship isn't working out. It's best that we part ways. Please do not contact me in any way anymore." Whatever you say, add in the last part about no contact. Anything he does after that is harassment and again, the law can help you deal with that if need be. If he really goes crazy, just repeat the no contact part and add in that if he doesn't stop, you'll be going to the police.

 

I doubt he'll do anything because most abusers are cowards, but you want to have that just in case. Do NOT respond to anything he says or engage with him any further at all. Do not answer any calls and do not get manipulated into any conversations with him. If you must, silence your phone so if he is blowing it up, you aren't tempted into answering. Just dump him.

 

Also, tell your family and close friends what's going on and what he's threatened. You need support to get through this. Your fam shaking their heads at you over sending nudes is nothing compared to an abusive lying psycho you are dating and what he is doing to you as we speak. End this madness now. Today.

Link to comment

You are not married, you don't live together so coronavirus is the perfect reason to bar this abusive creep from your life, social media and messaging apps. Tell a trusted adult relative, doctor, teacher, therapist about this abusive situation you are in.

 

Tell your parents you made a mistake and he is being abusive. Unless they are forcing you to be with him (scheduled arranged marriage?) or abusive themselves, they will understand and help you. Will they shun or honor kill you for having premarital sex?

 

In fact tell him you have contacted the police about revenge porn and given them his info. Never cave to threats. Call his bluff. Stand strong and dump him asap.

would say he would come to my house in the middle of the night to argue, obviously waking up my parents.
Link to comment

Contact a lawyer or the police and let them know he is threatening to expose private pictures. It is considered a crime these days and they can contact him and give him a warning. It might be enough to get him to stop the threats.

 

Secondly, break up with him. Don't hesitate, and don't try to justify. Make no mistake about it, he is an abuser and the more you allow a man like this to be in your life, the worse destruction he will do.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...