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Thread: is she in rebound?

  1. #1

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    is she in rebound?

    So, we were together around 4 years.

    She finished it around 6 months ago (Sept 2019) and because we donít live close have only seen each other once since. However, we have regularly kept in contact by text, phone calls, email and a few face times. In January she called me with some news and we spoke every day throughout January. it was nice conversations. Then in early February she suddenly cut all contact and blocked me. I hadnít been pestering her. It had been a two way conversation. I decided to give her some space for a month so mid-March emailed her to see if she and her family were all ok wrt corona virus.

    She replied saying we were now strangers and she had met someone new, it was early days but she was happier than sheís been for a long time. So, Iím figuring she probably met a new guy around early Feb, hence the sudden blocking.
    My question. Do you think this is a rebound relationship, or has she moved on properly? Did we break up in 6 months ago, or in Feb? I have a feeling she just used me for six months to emotionally detatch, ease her guilt and keep her from being bored/lonely. But, who knows.

    I still miss her and have changed the majority of things that caused us to split up. We sent a few emails early April, which were not very encouraging, because shes met someone. however on one i sent some photos and she said they made her happy and cry when she looked at them. I have refrained from contacting her since.

    Just interested to know if people thinks itís a rebound? In the meantime I will not contact her and try to move on. When we were talking in December I suggested getting tickets for us to go to a big sports event in September, which she agreed was a good idea. I may contact her again then (in 6 months time) to see the lie of the land? But, she knows how I feel and where to find me I guess and for now its out of my hands.
    Thanks

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately it sounds like 6 mos of the friendzone (for her) while you may have hoped for reconciliation. Whether he is a rebound or not, pull way back from this.
    Originally Posted by Bestda
    Did we break up in 6 months ago, or in Feb?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Same situation and woman?

    [Register to see the link]

    In this thread you wrote she told you to stop contacting her and that you two are basically strangers. What has changed since you posted that thread?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I think she dumped you back in Sept. What does it matter if this new guy is a rebound? You need to back off and leave her alone.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    After 4 years together, she might have slowly weaned away from you because sometimes it's odd to go no completely no contact, depending on the situation.

    She was obviously the one to break it off with you, and women usually think long and hard before making a momentous decision to permanently delete their partner from their lives.

    When you realize that whatever she does in her life or how it will turn out is no longer your concern, will you be able to heal and move on. How about deleting and blocking so that can happen? Because if she does throw breadcrumbs again one day, it won't be because she wants to be your gf again. Just about every ex I've had, whether I did the dumping or he did, has contacted me down the road. It's nothing special and happens to most. I've never once taken anyone back after a breakup, because on and off again relationships rarely work. Either one or both don't care enough. Otherwise, working on the relationship instead of bailing would've been the plan.

  7. #6

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    ok guys - thanks.
    i guess not what i wanted to hear, but i think i knew the answer. The reality is the reality.
    I need to completely put this to bed now and try to stop living in la la land and looking for irrational hope.
    Im really angry for her using me for the last 6 months to emotionally break away from me and giving me false hope. I want to write and tell her that what she did was wrong and mean. I wish sh'd had the balls to just do it proerly six months ago instead of stringing it out and using me. how can you treat someone youve been with for 4 years like that, i just odnt know.
    oh well, another lesson learnt. But i wont contact her. Its time to try and forget and move on. Hard though it is, it has to be done. No good can come of keep hoping or carrying a torch.
    thanks

  8. #7
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    I hate to say it but probably not - from my experience anyways. I thought my ex was in a relationship 3 months after he dumped me, still together after a year, moved in etc. Stop wishing it is a rebound, act as if it isnít, or it will do more harm than good - I say from experience

  9. #8
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    I don't think this is a rebound, Bestda.

    It appears she kept you around for company when she was bored or lonely, and weaning off your companionship. It was most definitely not cool of her if she had no intentions of reconciling. But unfortunately, it seems she had already moved passed the relationship and is ready to date someone else now. I don't get the impression she is using the new guy to heal her broken heart or some such thing that rebounders usually do. She's simply in a place where the past is behind her and she's moved on.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bestda
    Im really angry for her using me for the last 6 months to emotionally break away from me and giving me false hope. I want to write and tell her that what she did was wrong and mean.
    Oh, c'mOn. Don't discredit your own participation. You had your agenda to manipulate her back, and her agenda didn't match yours. That doesn't make either of you a villain, and you both learned the futility of trying to play friendzies with an ex.

    So instead of casting yourself as victimized, which only damages your own confidence in moving forward, turn your focus onto what would have helped you best from the start: a goal of surprising everyone, including yourself, with your resilience and ability to bounce back from this to create a fabulous future for yourself.

    It only takes one person to end a relationship, and she did that. So whether she's rebounding now or not is irrelevant and wasteful to worry about.

    Do YOU right now, and make this horrible time of global isolation one of self development and private growth. You will thank yourself for coming out the other side of this on higher ground with a whole new perspective.

    Head high.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Best way to snub her? Delete and block her and all her people from all your social media and messaging apps. As far as telling her off, it's a hard lesson in the all too common post-breakup friendzone.

    A valuable lesson. This friendzone thing is not malicious, it only seems so if one person wants reconciliation and the other wants to play "nice" and be friends.
    Originally Posted by Bestda
    Im really angry for her using me for the last 6 months to emotionally break away from me and giving me false hope. I want to write and tell her that what she did was wrong and mean.

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