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Thread: Emotionally immature

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    Emotionally immature

    Do you think someone who is emotionally immature can have a long term relationship?

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Of course -many people are together long term. Doesn't mean it's a healthy relationship but sure - I know many couples where one or both are very immature/codependent -whatever -and it works for them. Who am I to judge??

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    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Are you still checking your ex's social media and comparing how he treats his current girlfriend to how he treated you?

    Ruminating on this and continuing to make your ex your focus doesn't do you any good.

    Can you redirect your focus? Try to think about why you want him so badly when he didn't treat you properly. And instead, think about what your ideal relationship would look like. Oh, and work on your self esteem. You mentioned you feel it is low. Why is that? Fix that, and you won't need to obsess over your ex anymore.

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    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    You would have to operationally define emotional immaturity in this context. What behaviors do you see that indicate the person is emotionally immature?

    Like boltrun said, if this is about comparing your ex's current behaviors in his new relationship with how he treated you at the end of yours, it's just going to make you feel worse and stop you from moving on. I know it hurts when ex-partners move on first or leave us for someone else. I've been through it myself. It doesn't mean there was anything wrong with you, but it also does not in and of itself make them emotionally immature.

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    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Agree with bolt, having followed your last thread.

    Not to hall-of-mirrors this too much, but lingering on an ex's social media feed and obsessively comparing yourself to his new squeeze? That's kind of Emotional Immaturity 101. So while I assume you have someone else in mind as the "emotionally immature" one in this semi-hypothetical scenario, I'd say it's a great time to focus on growing yourself an inch or two. You'll be amazed at what you find, what kind of connections you establish, and how this here moment loses its traction in the mental and emotional airways.

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    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Of course -many people are together long term. Doesn't mean it's a healthy relationship but sure - I know many couples where one or both are very immature/codependent -whatever -and it works for them. Who am I to judge??
    But, hey, to answer your question: agree with this.

    The world proves, daily, that just about every version of a human being on the planet can have a longterm relationship. Best thing about just being one of those humans, though? We get full control in deciding what kind of relationships work for us, and what kind of people we want to spend our energy on.

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    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    My husband's sister is the most emotionally immature person I've ever met. So yes, they are out there and she was married for a long time before dumping the guy and now 25 or 30 yrs later is set to marry some other guy who thinks she's just wonderful. Yup, it can and does happen.

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    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Absolutely NOT. I've since learned this harsh lesson the hard way. Those who lack emotional intelligence (EQ) are lost causes and impossible to get along with. Those with low to non-existent EQ are fine for superficial, shallow, small talk acquaintance type relationships at best but anymore than that? Forget it.

    I have people in my midst who lack EQ and it's like walking on eggshells which means non-EQ people are far too much work, unnecessary stress and aggravation for me. I'm better off associating with those who have a lot of empathy and HIGH EQ.

    I've written off those with no EQ.

    And yes, I will judge. Respect, consideration, empathy, kindness, conscientious impeccable manners, humility, common decency, common courtesy and integrity are all virtues we hold dear. Without it, all relationships and friendships are doomed for failure. Either be on the same page with high EQ or these types of hopeless people are a waste of my time, money and energy.

    Yes, those with no EQ can have long term relationships but it will be fraught with high maintenance and endless irritations.

    Emotionally immature people only think of themselves. They're a selfish lot. They don't feel for others on a consistent, habitual basis. Some of them are masters at gaslighting, too. They're a train wreck.
    Last edited by Cherylyn; 04-11-2020 at 10:14 PM.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Can those types of people have long term relationships? Sure, it doesn't mean it will be great but yeah, it can happen.

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