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Thread: Emotionally immature

  1. #11
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    It has been over a year, you really need to move on with your life. Have you considered more therapy?

    How long did you date? How old are you?

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    It has been over a year, you really need to move on with your life. Have you considered more therapy?

    How long did you date? How old are you?
    Iím trying - a year and a half Iím 20. Itís his 1 year today and I didnít stalk him, it came up on my explore page

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Are you still checking your ex's social media and comparing how he treats his current girlfriend to how he treated you?

    Ruminating on this and continuing to make your ex your focus doesn't do you any good.

    Can you redirect your focus? Try to think about why you want him so badly when he didn't treat you properly. And instead, think about what your ideal relationship would look like. Oh, and work on your self esteem. You mentioned you feel it is low. Why is that? Fix that, and you won't need to obsess over your ex anymore.
    Iím not actually, it came up on my feed! I have started to and would rather someone who celebrated me and isnít embarrassed of me.

  4. #14
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    Thanks for the insight, Iím learning that

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  6. #15
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    Considering the number of threads we see here from folks who are obviously in toxic relationships with immature people? Yes, itís absolutely possible.

    It doesnít mean the relationship is a good one, though, nor that the one desperately hanging on doesnít have some emotional maturing to do, too.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Rhetorical questions are not addressing things. Innuendos about this guy won't help. Survey style questions in general are not useful. Telemedicine therapy could help you .

    Replied in your identical thread about this, my advice remains the same: [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by Ash12345
    Do you think someone who is emotionally immature can have a long term relationship?

  8. #17
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ash12345
    Iím not actually, it came up on my feed! I have started to and would rather someone who celebrated me and isnít embarrassed of me.
    Why haven't you deleted him from your social media?

    Why are you choosing to stay mentally connected to him? This does you no good at all.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ash12345
    I have started to and would rather someone who celebrated me and isnít embarrassed of me.
    Great. Keep going down this path.

    If you were in this headspace before you met himófeeling yourself and your worth, wanting someone who celebrated thatódo you think this relationship would have existed for as long as it did, if at all? Probably not. Which isn't to say that it was a waste of time. Hardly. You probably had some very good times, and now you've learned some lessons. But you can't live themócan't start feeling yourself and celebrating yourselfóif you're still measuring yourself against someone that tapped into a part of you that you want to work on, and let go of.

    The familiar is always comfortable, even when the familiar is self-loathing. Challenge right nowóand you're up for it!óis to start finding a new comfort zone.

  10. #19
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    Why haven't you blocked and deleted?

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ash12345
    Iím trying - a year and a half Iím 20. Itís his 1 year today and I didnít stalk him, it came up on my explore page
    I believe there is hope for emotionally immature people if and only when they eventually recognize their flaws and defects and they're willing to sincerely change for the better. I can live with that. Unfortunately, I rarely observe this true effort in my lifetime. "A leopard cannot change its spots." They are who they are.

    I know several relatives and in-laws who are in long term relationships and marriages but those relationships and marriages are made in hell. Unfortunately, some couples are entrapped and stuck together and quite miserable.

    I know several relatives and in-laws who are emotionally immature and unkind to me and my loved ones for chronically endless and sick habitual decades. Some people will say, "Oh, you just have to tolerate and accept other people's foibles." Well, I say, "Forget that. I'm out. It's a real deal breaker." Sure, my husband, sons and I are civil towards them. However, we enforce healthy boundaries with emotionally immature people and keep them at arm's length. We are wary and jaded. We are a peaceful lot but we're not chummy. This is the difference. None of us trust emotionally immature people as they are predictable in a bad way.

    Emotionally immature people are problematic and unfortunately it's a form of mental illness. Sometimes it's curable and fixable and other times, it's best to stay away from them because they're unpleasant people and who in their right mind enjoys being around people who don't make you happy?

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