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Thread: Update He's ignoring me

  1. #11
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lambert
    touche Blue!

    I do agree with what you said. However, I think you are more evolved than the average man.
    Awwww. But not sure about the evolved part. Just evolving, alongside everyone.

    Per the earlier post on this? I think what’s critical—and this applies to both genders—is to assume that sex means absolutely nothing save for an extension of whatever has been discussed prior to having sex. If you’re cool with it happening with zero ideas or discussion of anything? Wonderful, enjoy. If you need some sense of things? Use words, while clothed, so bodies don’t become currency. And if after having sex you’re feeling the need for some clarity? Again, use words (not extrapolations from dating profiles) and chose them with care.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Awwww. But not sure about the evolved part. Just evolving, alongside everyone.

    Per the earlier post on this? I think what’s critical—and this applies to both genders—is to assume that sex means absolutely nothing save for an extension of whatever has been discussed prior to having sex. If you’re cool with it happening with zero ideas or discussion of anything? Wonderful, enjoy. If you need some sense of things? Use words, while clothed, so bodies don’t become currency. And if after having sex you’re feeling the need for some clarity? Again, use words (not extrapolations from dating profiles) and chose them with care.
    True. All very true. But that requires true vulnerability along with healthy doses of self understanding and acceptance... things we can forget when our crush walks in the room....

    which is pretty great, too... considering I haven't seen my crush walk in the room in a month! lol. good times this pandemic...

  3. #13
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I'm a Blue fan too. You are more evolved than the majority. Own it. :)

    As for this guy, OP, if you have to chase, he's not into you. You keep running after him and running after him. Honestly, I feel bad for you. It's not supposed to be like this.

    If he's not chasing back, let it go. Him replying because he feels he has to or out of politeness, doesn't mean he's into you.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Yeah, I guess that's being vulnerable. Though it's awfully vulnerable to be naked with someone so, hey, if you can get used to that you can get used to the rest. A salt shake of evolution, one could say, which always makes for a better meal.

    I do agree with you, Sherry, on the general read here in terms of chasing. In this case, the impression I get is that the chasing is less about interest in him than it is in not being seen as the "crazy" one or not losing the sense that he was interested in her. Maybe I'm wrong, but it might worth thinking about.

    Such strange times. I really can't imagine trying to date through them. Can imagine trying, and wanting to, but succeeding? My imagination hits a bit of brick wall on that front.

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  6. #15
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    Well the way I see it is that if this guy really likes you then you probably didn't need to send the bottle. You already told him previously that you were sorry and you regretted what you said and wanted to get back together. I think if he really wanted you back that should have been enough. Look maybe you were right and he liked you but he also wasn't super crazy about you either. Though I guess he hadn't been seeing you long and most people don't fall in love really fast. Maybe he could have liked you more with more time. But yeah just next time try to be relaxed and like you're just taking things slow. People don't want a stage 5 clinger lol

  7. #16
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    A lot of good advice.

    OP, this guy is not interested. Please do not contact him again and move on.

  8. #17
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    OP,

    He might be busy at work due to corona but I can guarantee he is not busy when home lol

    He is not interested. Stop wasting your time , energy and money. Please!

  9. #18
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    I would take a big step back now, OP, and remember that it's unlikely he'd be so busy everyday at work that he couldn't possibly make time to message you at all. People have bits and pieces of downtime before and after work. It might not be much, but I promise you that if he were still interested, you wouldn't be wondering if he's decided to go silent again.

    Now, he could be simply sitting on things and trying to work out if he wants to give it a chance. He was evidently pretty turned off before but he might be reconsidering after this gesture from you. It's hard to say. He doesn't want to be rude and ignore your gift altogether, so he acknowledged it. He's buying time with telling you he is busy at work, likely thinking about whether or not he still feels there's anything there. You'll find out soon enough if he wants to give it a go again.

    All you can do now is know you did what you could. It might work out, it might not. Be willing to step away if he continues to be largely silent.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Yeah, I guess that's being vulnerable. Though it's awfully vulnerable to be naked with someone so, hey, if you can get used to that you can get used to the rest. A salt shake of evolution, one could say, which always makes for a better meal.
    .
    One would think

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle

    Such strange times. I really can't imagine trying to date through them. Can imagine trying, and wanting to, but succeeding? My imagination hits a bit of brick wall on that front.
    Agree... the best I think anyone (trying to date) can do at this time, is just try to stay in touch, look for equal amounts of effort from both sides and see ya when we can start socializing in person again.

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