Boyfriend is getting me vibrating panties for my birthday.. what do I do?

So I’m turning 19 next month, I have been with my boyfriend for the past 7 months, he is a few years older than me. I absolutely love giving gifts and really try hard to make them very thoughtful. My boyfriend is taking me on a weekend trip for my birthday which I love and am very excited for. However I found out today, he also ordered me a pair of $150 vibrating panties. I know I mentioned before that the idea of having a pair seemed like fun to me, but I never wanted him to buy me a pair, especially not for my birthday. His past gifts just haven’t been romantic and I feel like this one isn’t either. Not sure if I’m just overreacting though, I would love some advice, thanks in advance!

A weekend trip sounds pretty romantic? And he demonstrated he was listening to you and paying attention to things you mentioned having an interest in? Seems like you could be doing worse to me...

To be honest..it sounds like he views more as a sex toy than a romantic partner.

Men can be romantic if they want to be. But it all depends on how they view you and what they see your relationship as being. Unless he is just a really insensitive man who has no clue on what a woman would like.

But my guess is... being that he's older than you, he is enjoying the sex side of things rather than to view you as someone romantic and serious for anything long term.

No woman would want to wake up to vibrating panties on her birthday unless she was a hooker. A beautiful ring or something more along those lines would have meant a great deal more.

How is it that you're going on a vacation during a pandemic?

Yep he’s all about the sex it seems.

A weekend away would be romantic but the vibrating panties has negated that.

Your weekend trip away won’t happen anyway given the travel restrictions world wide so tell him to post the panties instead! Lol

Let’s see if he does and respects the social distancing laws.

Hopefully you will.

How is it that you're going on a vacation during a pandemic?

I would like to know this too.

Just because you value being thoughtful when giving gifts, doesn't mean other people have that talent or desire. If you can't communicate what you want, value, or how you're feeling in a relationship, it's because you feel it's on shaky ground. If you bottle things up, you'll end up eventually exploding. Why not begin a discussion when you're both in a mellow mood, and rehearse what you'll say ahead of time so that it's a reasonable request with tact and not an attack?

Although it'd be nice if relationships were like magical fairytales where everyone constantly delighted each other with their thoughtful romantic gestures, it's not reality. People aren't mind readers. People might have backgrounds where they haven't witnessed ideal behavior from role models. Sometimes I have to spell things out to my husband with solid concreteness. Where does the romance come in? When he cares enough to hear me

and follows through.

Are they rechargeable? Can you control it with Alexa?

he also ordered me a pair of $150 vibrating panties.

I would like to know this too.

I would like to know this as well. Is your BF not aware of what's going on in the world???????

What were the other gifts?

Why are you going anywhere? Haven't you been watching the news?

If you said this, why is he blamed for being "all about sex"?

"However I found out today, he also ordered me a pair of $150 vibrating panties. I know I mentioned before that the idea of having a pair seemed like fun to me"

Well I never said that I thought he was “all about sex” I just find the gift to be very unromantic for a boyfriend to give his girlfriend.

He booked it long before any of this came to light. We will be postponing it until further notice.

A weekend trip sounds pretty romantic? And he demonstrated he was listening to you and paying attention to things you mentioned having an interest in? Seems like you could be doing worse to me...

I agree, thank you for the reply, my first thought was just disappointment, so I wanted to see if I was overreacting. But as you said, I could be doing worse.

I would like to know this too.

We are both very aware of what’s going on in the World. We live in different States, so it’s impossible not to. He planned and booked the trip before any of this began, so we will be postponing it.

If you said this, why is he blamed for being "all about sex"?

"However I found out today, he also ordered me a pair of $150 vibrating panties. I know I mentioned before that the idea of having a pair seemed like fun to me"

I agree with you and I never thought that he was being “all about sex”, I just find It to be a very unromantic gift to give someone you’ve only been dating for a few months let alone for her birthday.

Just because you value being thoughtful when giving gifts, doesn't mean other people have that talent or desire. If you can't communicate what you want, value, or how you're feeling in a relationship, it's because you feel it's on shaky ground. If you bottle things up, you'll end up eventually exploding. Why not begin a discussion when you're both in a mellow mood, and rehearse what you'll say ahead of time so that it's a reasonable request with tact and not an attack?

 

Although it'd be nice if relationships were like magical fairytales where everyone constantly delighted each other with their thoughtful romantic gestures, it's not reality. People aren't mind readers. People might have backgrounds where they haven't witnessed ideal behavior from role models. Sometimes I have to spell things out to my husband with solid concreteness. Where does the romance come in? When he cares enough to hear me

and follows through.

Thank you so much for the well thought out reply, your advice actually meant a lot to me,

I see what you’re saying and agree that it’s probably best for me to bring it up at some point when we’re both in a good mood, like you said I don’t want to seem like I’m angry or ambushing him, especially not about something as minor as a gift. I was just honestly hoping he’d figure it out on his own that that’s not something I would want, but I guess he’ll need a little push in the right direction.

I agree, thank you for the reply, my first thought was just disappointment, so I wanted to see if I was overreacting. But as you said, I could be doing worse.

It'd be one thing if he just bought you the panties. That's the impression I got reading the headline. But the vacation is the romantic / "gift for us" date. The panties were clearly the gift for you. I wouldn't even call it thoughtless.

In any case, if it puts you off, it puts you off. I don't think it's worth sitting down and having a talk about it. In the future, express interest in other items as hints for gifts. If he's buying you collector's edition Rabbits despite that, then maybe. As it stands, all any of us can reasonably take from it is that he listens to you.

The way this comes across to me is that the trip IS THE romantic gift and the panties is just more of a fun side gag gift and shouldn't be seen as the gift. Methinks you are missing the forest for the trees here.

How do vibrating panties work, anyway? (Asking for a friend)

When he gives them to you tell him "Those are nice but I don't think they will fit you"

Most guys are terrible at being romantic and buying a romantic gift, especially young men. This is where you come in. Little hints here and there can really help a guy out and the best part is you get a gift you really wanted or like.

It takes time and communication for guys to "Get It" and actually pay close enough attention to pick out a great gift or be smart enough to ask one of your gf's what you would like.

BTW the Hallmark channel has done more to make regular guys look bad than anything in the whole world!

Help him do better because I am sure he really wants to make you happy. If that doesn't work buy him a penis enlarger for his birthday and see if he gets the message :-)

Lost

How do vibrating panties work, anyway? (Asking for a friend)

Haha Haha:)

Trust me, I want to have faith in these kinds of scenarios too...hey, at one time I did! And you know where it got me? Dating jerk after jerk with whom I kept making excuses for and kept looking the other way when stupid things such as a very thoughtless gift came up or something that made things feel wrong.

You can fool yourself all you want, but he is more interested in what's between your legs than your ears. There is/was nothing romantic at all with his gift.

The guy knows the difference between vibrating panties and a beautiful piece of jewelry, unless he's a complete moron.

However if you want to sit around and tell yourself that he "loves" you, go for it. But his gift proves exactly what he thinks of you.

But his gift proves exactly what he thinks of you.

Yeah.... I'm thinking it says "sex partner" more than "life partner."

If "sex partner" is what you're looking for, no problem. But it sounds like you would have preferred a something a little more thoughtful, a gift that showed appreciation of you as a person (and not just of your vagina).

Agree, Jibralta.

I mean, guys know the difference between this kind of gift and say, something like a pretty bracelet or necklace. After all, it's not rocket science.

What it comes down to, is making excuses for a jerk. I've been there, done that.

All this in 7 mos? Wait til he gets you a vacuum cleaner for a gift.

His past gifts just haven’t been romantic and I feel like this one isn’t either.