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Thread: Guy from Tinder lied about being a student at the University I'm at. Advice?

  1. #1
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    Guy from Tinder lied about being a student at the University I'm at. Advice?

    Matched with a guy on tinder and we've exchanged numbers. He told me he's looking for something more long term. We're thinking of going on a coffee/icecream date. He apparently goes to the same University I'm at. The other night he was talking about what he's studying and I just innocently said he should show me by sending a photo as it seemed interesting. He didn't send me a photo, bit weird I thought. I then via our Uni email checked he does not come up which probably means he's lied.

    * possibly IT Issue? he mentioned he's second year, I'm a fourth year student so it's practically impossible that his name is not coming up but mine is.
    * the name he provided matches his Instagram and Facebook, can't see him using a fake name. I tried searching his last name alone and nothing comes up.

    Would you go through with a date? What do you suggest I do? Text him and be upfront?

    tl;dr matched with a guy on tinder, I'm attracted/interested in him. Realised he's most likely lied about going to the University I'm at.

  2. #2
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    Where did he actually lie about which school he goes to?

    I think I'm missing something here.

  3. #3
    Bronze Member Eliza50's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dustycloud
    What do you suggest I do? Text him and be upfront?
    That's what I'd do.

  4. #4
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    There are people who are known by different names. I used to date a girl who had her dad's surname on all official documents (work docs, passport etc) but mum's surname on anything social like Facebook. Other people are known to everyone by their middle name.

    My family is particularly strange with names - my nana's birthname was Olive but everyone called her Eunice. And my uncle's birthname was Bernard but everyone called him Mick!

    Guess what I'm saying is just keep an open mind - it might not be as straightforward as 'he lied'.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by Ian4996
    Other people are known to everyone by their middle name.
    This is true for me, too. From birth, I've always been called by my middle name.

    My legal first name is a family name my parents wanted to give me, but not use as my day-to-day name. It of course also appears on all my official ID (alongside my middle name) so if someone were to search for me only using middle name and surname, they wouldn't find anything official. They'd have to also know my first name. That was true for my university-issued ID and email account as well, way back when.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Do you plan on meeting after the pandemic, or during?

    If during, a potential lie is the least of your problems.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    It might be as late as August before any get togethers can safely happen. I wouldn't make any assumptions about whether or not he goes there, or whether or not his long term relationship goal is valid. Actually meeting up and getting to know a person gradually is the only way to find out who a person is.

    I wouldn't get into a time consuming/deepening cyber space relationship before the meet up happens. Don't invest a lot of time in the unknown, because cyberspace is all fantasy.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Could he be a scammer or catfish? Meet on campus. Ask questions before meeting.
    Originally Posted by dustycloud
    matched with a guy on tinder, I'm attracted/interested in him. Realised he's most likely lied about going to the University I'm at.

  10. 04-08-2020, 10:17 AM

  11. #9
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Be upfront about what? Doubting he's a student? Not even a single date in is a bit soon to be calling people out on what you assume is BS. People go by different nickname socially. Folks like me have multiple last names and might opt to use one professionally or for records while using another more publicly. I wouldn't assume one way or the other simply based on not finding his name or him not awkwardly sending you a picture of his homework (??).

    Healthy skepticism is fine. Really it should just be a clean slate. There's no reason to trust or distrust someone you don't know. There are 1,001 things someone could much more easily and substantially lie about than their enrollment status at a university. You meet up, take things slow, and make a subjective choice whether you feel they're worth your trust and effort. Despite the fact a lot of people choose to ignore signs or to not pay attention, very, very few people out there are smart enough (or sociopathic enough, for that matter) to convincingly and sustainably misrepresent themselves in front of people they're familiar / intimate with.

    It wouldn't even be much of a concentrated awareness for your part. There are things that would naturally happen which you'd eventually become suspicious were they not to. You'd meet on campus, he'd bring a bookbag if it were between classes, you'd talk about the campus or classes in a way you'd probably need to be a student to understand, you'd eventually go to his apartment or dorm and see books, meet friends who are likewise students, etc. I suppose you could be unlucky with the one in a million chance this dude went all in on a fake student persona, but in pretty much any scenario, you'd just know. And even if you still didn't trust him for whatever reason, you just wish him luck with future prospects. No real need for drama.

    Really though, between the pandemic and the fact you're desperate enough to be asking advice on someone you haven't so much as sat down for coffee with, I think it'd benefit you to take a break and focus on yourself.

  12. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Speaking of scammers..🌳🌻🌸🧄🚉🚅🛹🚲🚘🚔🚎⏳📏📉📊📅
    Originally Posted by HOOKERS
    Hello everyone, go to the new SCAM site --> TROLLdate.club

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