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Thread: Guy from Tinder lied about being a student at the University I'm at. Advice?

  1. #11
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    Have him a snap a picture of his university ID card and send it to you. Without enough time for him to fake one up.

    Of course, he may refuse.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You do have to be careful. There is a line between being safe and being paranoid. But on that note, Ted Bundy, did in fact exist.

    Just ask questions, no reason why you can't. You're the only one who can keep yourself safe and make sure you know who you're talking to.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dustycloud
    What do you suggest I do? Text him and be upfront?
    Yes. Always question.

    Don't be afraid to ask for additional info.

    Ask as many questions as you need to.

    You have the right to vet people before you agree to meet them, and you should!

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    If you have to play detective to this extent, it's not a good match, no matter what.
    Originally Posted by dustycloud
    * possibly IT Issue? he mentioned he's second year, I'm a fourth year student so it's practically impossible that his name is not coming up but mine is.
    * the name he provided matches his Instagram and Facebook, can't see him using a fake name. I tried searching his last name alone and nothing comes up.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Have to disagree, Wiseman. This is the most cursory of due diligence and I would recommend any woman do at least this much before meeting a complete stranger. And I also would recommend letting someone know where she will be and who she is with if she does decide to meet him. Call me old fashioned, but it's an effed up world we live in.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Not sure why they just don't go to videochat instead of talking about "looking for long term" or "talking about ice cream" or "apparently" goes to my Uni or "he didn't send a photo and that was weird" etc.

    Either date straightforwardly and directly or get off the dating apps. It's that simple. All the sidestepping and tiptoeing is no closer to being safe.

    Agree googling someone and asking specifics is a great idea but she didn't bother with that and instead assumes that her uni in-mail server is a way to verify identity.
    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    This is the most cursory of due diligence and I would recommend any woman do at least this much before meeting a complete stranger.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Not sure why they just don't go to videochat instead of talking about "looking for long term" or "talking about ice cream" or "apparently" goes to my Uni or "he didn't send a photo and that was weird" etc.

    Either date straightforwardly and directly or get off the dating apps. It's that simple. All the sidestepping and tiptoeing is no closer to being safe.

    Agree googling someone and asking specifics is a great idea but she didn't bother with that and instead assumes that her uni in-mail server is a way to verify identity.
    Video chat doesn't establish any credibility, aside from age and looks.

    I think was a smart move on her part to fact-check with her college's email directory. That got straight to the point.

    However, it's not flawless, as Ian4996 and MissCanuck have pointed out.

    And even if it had turned up his name, she still has to ask direct questions. She still has to get to know him.

    That "looking for longterm" business is just talk, and won't be verifiable until she actually gets to know the guy over a period of time.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    I should have added that you, OP, shouldn't have told him what university you went to, nor should you be exchanging last names, addresses, and where you work until you've been meeting up and feel safe in giving that info.

  10. #19
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    I always googled etc and this was back in the early-mid 2000s. A number of men lied about being college grads and I believe even where they attended school. Dealbreaker.

  11. #20
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    Is it possible that his Instagram and Facebook names are not real? For example, if he told you his name is "Larry David" but that's actually his first and middle name (not last name?). Or he went to your university but dropped out? It's hard to know unless you meet....

    In any case, I don't know about dating in a pandemic... you don't know who he is exposed to and what other women he is seeing...

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