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Thread: partner wants me to lose weight

  1. #11
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    I think that if you were in poor health - that you also had other medical conditions related to being overweight - and he was your spouse or life partner it would be ok to express concern about your health overall. I don't think it's ok to expect one's partner to like to do the same fitness activities or to want to do them to the same extent, etc. There's a fine line and I think it involves true health concerns plus life partner/spouse, etc. I also think it's ok to have healthful food around the house, etc. and to offer it in a thoughtful way to one's partner.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    There is a film about this type of thing. Yes, just laugh at this guy and dump him.
    Originally Posted by dion333
    Pretty shallow actually.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Different perspective here, so please don't hate.

    At 5'2 and 152 lbs, you are overweight. Ideally, you should be 20 lbs lighter.

    I used to be overweight. I won't lie, I hated myself. I felt gross, shopping was depressing as everything was big, bulky, nothing cute fit me and if it did, my weight made it look lumpy and misshapen.

    The thing is, no one can guilt you, or humiliate, try to convince you, or even verbally abuse you into losing weight. Only you can decide when it's time to finally take a hold of your life and get your body back.
    If you get to that point, you will have to have a very strong urge to care more about your body than a cheeseburger or cake or sweet drink.

    You also have to be doing it for YOU, not to get someone to love you, not to get someone's approval or to please someone...you should only be doing it because YOU want your body back, you want control over your weight back and you want to look a certain way.
    Addiction to food is not much different than being addicted to anything else. You will have cravings, withdrawing from sugar and fat is immensely hard.
    You will have tears, because it is like losing a best friend, a comfort, something you ran to that gave you instant pleasure, albeit momentarily.
    BUT it is more than possible. I am living proof of that.

    I am no longer overweight, I haven't been in many years. I watch what I eat. I choose good food for my body, not high fat or high sugar.
    I love a huge piece of cake as much as the next person. But I care more about myself, and my health to indulge to the degree of losing control again and losing my health and size.

    It takes discipline and no it's not something that happens overnight. You have to work hard, and it takes months. You really have to want this in order to stay on track.
    But at the end of the day, it's your call. No one else has to live in your body except for you.

    My best advice, reduce portion sizes, choose healthy food that is low fat, low sugar, no oils or butters or heavy sauces and try to get at least half an hour of exercise per day.
    DO NOT crash diet or do anything silly and dangerous like making yourself hurl. That's a fast way to getting yourself very very sick. Don't go down that road.
    Be smart, be safe.

    I am cheering you on. Take each day one day at a time. If you have the will, you can do it.

  4. 04-08-2020, 08:07 AM

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  5. #14
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    Just remember too if you get a product that is “low-fat“ it is high sugar. If anything fat is better than high sugar.

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  7. 04-08-2020, 08:52 AM
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  8. #15
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Different perspective here, so please don't hate.

    At 5'2 and 152 lbs, you are overweight. Ideally, you should be 20 lbs lighter.

    I used to be overweight. I won't lie, I hated myself. I felt gross, shopping was depressing as everything was big, bulky, nothing cute fit me and if it did, my weight made it look lumpy and misshapen.

    The thing is, no one can guilt you, or humiliate, try to convince you, or even verbally abuse you into losing weight. Only you can decide when it's time to finally take a hold of your life and get your body back.
    If you get to that point, you will have to have a very strong urge to care more about your body than a cheeseburger or cake or sweet drink.

    You also have to be doing it for YOU, not to get someone to love you, not to get someone's approval or to please someone...you should only be doing it because YOU want your body back, you want control over your weight back and you want to look a certain way.
    Addiction to food is not much different than being addicted to anything else. You will have cravings, withdrawing from sugar and fat is immensely hard.
    You will have tears, because it is like losing a best friend, a comfort, something you ran to that gave you instant pleasure, albeit momentarily.
    BUT it is more than possible. I am living proof of that.

    I am no longer overweight, I haven't been in many years. I watch what I eat. I choose good food for my body, not high fat or high sugar.
    I love a huge piece of cake as much as the next person. But I care more about myself, and my health to indulge to the degree of losing control again and losing my health and size.

    It takes discipline and no it's not something that happens overnight. You have to work hard, and it takes months. You really have to want this in order to stay on track.
    But at the end of the day, it's your call. No one else has to live in your body except for you.

    My best advice, reduce portion sizes, choose healthy food that is low fat, low sugar, no oils or butters or heavy sauces and try to get at least half an hour of exercise per day.
    DO NOT crash diet or do anything silly and dangerous like making yourself hurl. That's a fast way to getting yourself very very sick. Don't go down that road.
    Be smart, be safe.

    I am cheering you on. Take each day one day at a time. If you have the will, you can do it.
    Love all of this so much. All I wanted to add was that Weight Watchers is a great program from all I know (not personally) and what Sherry wrote reminded me of it. Several of my friends have had great success. I am 5"2 also and never had a weight problem and know that being petite mean even a couple of pounds "shows". I will share this. I eat normally and healthy enough and when I was 42 I had a stroke. I'd given birth 12 days earlier. I'd gained about 37 pounds while pregnant so that my highest weight was 147. I lost about 20 just by giving birth. Why did I have a stroke? They are not sure - but they blame the stress of the pregnancy on my over 40 body. Was it the excess weight (I gained on the higher end I guess but nothing alarming -I was told it was ok). I don't know -but also while I was pregnant all I wanted for the last couple of months was burgers. Meat. My cholesterol was high as a result. I recovered fast and completely from the stroke and 11 years later no signs of stroke again.

    I'm healthy, fit, slim. But I do portion control, watch what I eat, and during this quarrantine time I am VERY mindful of not going back to bad habits -for me that means regularly nibbling on sweets. It adds up. I've never been overweight but I lost about 10 pounds just stopping all the nibbling last July after a minor health scare. And increasing my plain water intake. And continuing not to drink diet soda which triggers me to want carbs and is awful for me anyway (I stopped regular soda when I was in my teens). I also do intense cardio at least 30-35 minutes a day and typically walk briskly at least a couple of miles over that every day. I'm 53 and no I didn't gain weight just because I'm older. Same deal for my sister in her 50s and my mom in her 80s -both of them are underweight.

    I am cheering you on too. And I could not agree more that you need to do this for you and not in response to some patronizing and jerky comments.

  9. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Anyone who thinks they are better than you and you need to change to be good enough for them, is some you need to kick to the curb asap.👢 This isn't about bad/good foods etc. It'a about his attitude toward you.

  10. #17
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Anyone who thinks they are better than you and you need to change to be good enough for them, is some you need to kick to the curb asap.👢 This isn't about bad/good foods etc. It'a about his attitude toward you.
    Exactly. Period.

  11. #18
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    ly and while he does indulge in making me happy by going out and eating desserts and sweet drinks with me, h

    My SIL is like this and likes her sweets, drinks and fried food. She was never slim, but now its out of control. she is 5'1" and 200 lbs. My brother is so frustrated that she just doesn't seem to care about their little boy if she is fine with being that big and dropping dead of a heart attack or developing diabetes. She won't get on a bike. If he is home, he makes healthy meals, if not she is at Burger King or something. She has fast food feasts. So, you need to take a little pride here. Cut out the sweet drinks and desserts - NOW.

    Maybe your boyfriend is a jerk - or maybe he sees that it is becoming more apparent that you can't keep up with him and is frustrated. You are getting bigger and bigger - its not like you are eating smart and exercising but are heavier (genetics, thyroid, etc,). its painful sometimes to watch a loved one do that to themselves and act like they are oblivious. Or you complain about your weight yet do nothing about it - at some point people say "enough already. if you are unhappy, put down the ice cream brownie..."

  12. #19
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    Being overweight is a mentality and is often an accumulation of bad habits and a unhealthy lifestyle.

    I'm 5'7 and around 115. I exercise for an hour everyday and eat really healthy. I also have a big appetite for a female, but I don't eat junk food often though really have a sweet tooth. I just control that side of me lol. My bf does the same, he's really fit and eats good food. I do I think it's time to end things as it doesn't look good. You should find someone who will like you the way you are and he should find someone that has the same attitude towards health and exercise because it's pretty important to have aligning beliefs.

  13. 04-11-2020, 06:26 AM

  14. 04-11-2020, 08:12 AM

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