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20 year break up


steadygut

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Hi my girlfriend of 20 years dumped me by txt. we didn't live together as this suited us both (both in our early 50,s). Any we we have a caravan together and she txt me telling me she was a bit unwell and for me to go get it ready and she would be up next weekend. came back on the monday txt her to say its read and received a 2 word txt saying were finished. Since then i've learned she is seeing someone else yet when we have talked she keeps telling me she is single. A friend of hers phoned me and give me all the details so i drove over to the address and sure enough her car was there all night. Also there are pictures of here on f/book with him. yet she still tells me she is single both in txts and in person and says there just mates and that she also just wants to be mates with me as she no longer has feelings for me other than mates. when i try to ask about it 9as i have so many questions unanswered ) she refuses to answer any questions and gets annoyed. Shes tells me she baby sitting and posts pics on facebook (as were still friends on it) then it turns out she wasn't baby sitting at all and was out with the new fella. its really got my head done in . i just cnt get a straight answer off here and everyone i get turns out to be a lie. why is she telling me shes is single yet she is 100% seeing someone else. its got me in bits to be honest and i need to move forward but i just don't seem able to. She gets alot of perks of me and i have been helping her out financially . Just feeling like my whole world has collapsed overnight and being in a lockdown makes it worse as im alone with my thought all day and my mind starts going into overdrive

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She gets alot of perks of me and i have been helping her out financially .

 

I hope you have now stopped all this? I wonder if she has been using you for these perks for some time, have emotionally checked out of the relationship. She's now found someone else to provide those perks and boom, completely dismissed you as no longer required.

 

I'm so sorry to hear you've been treated so very badly by someone you've known for such a long time. To end your relationship with a 2-word text is disgusting. You want closure but it doesn't sound like that is forthcoming, so I can only suggest that you block her from your phone and all social media to avoid torturing yourself by seeing what she's doing.

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A little confused here: If she is telling you she is single, how can she be your girlfriend of 20 years?

 

Or are you saying she was your girlfriend for 20 years, dumped you via text, then started seeing someone else and is now keeping the relationship a secret and telling you she is single?

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yes when she txts me now she says they are only friends. but there going to partys and walk round the parks and shes sleeping at his but telling me she sleeps on the settee. got my head really pickled. telling me one thing and posting another all over media then txts me to see if im ok and thats shes single

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Well, I think you're going to have to cut ties with her. Buy her out of the caravan if you have to. This is too painful for you, and there's no good reason for you to be fielding this nonsense. You are not benefiting from it; you are only getting injured and used. Clear the way so that you can move on.

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Sorry to hear this but there is obviously more to the story of the "we're done" text. Clearly you've been fighting. It sounds more like casual fwb. She is single. However she should have leveled with you that she found someone else.

we didn't live together as this suited us both (both in our early 50,s). came back on the monday txt her to say its read and received a 2 word txt saying were finished.
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Brutal. I got dumped via text once after only a couple years together and it was so painful. But the fact of the matter is that it’s none of your business whether she is single or dating now. Your best bet for a rapid recovery from heartbreak is to stay in your lane. Don’t follow her social media, politely refrain from discussing her life circumstances with mutual friends. Truly make a solid, conscious decision to LET GO and focus on your own health and well-being.

 

Sorry to hear about the breakup but don’t make it worse by going down an “obsessed” rabbit hole.

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I got dumped via email. 12 hours after I'd talked to him about our weekend plans. His email said he didn't want a girlfriend "rite now".

 

He'd already moved my replacement into his house.

 

This was after 4 years together and living together (however, I had moved out).

 

Sorry this happened, but she does not seem like a stand up type person. She took money from you but couldn't do you a common courtesy? Yeah, not OK.

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