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Thread: Why me?

  1. #1
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    Why me?

    My ex dumped me about a year ago and got into a relationship a couple of months later, it is their one year in a few days. I know he is emotionally immature but I still canít seem to get over him and what we had! What bothers me most is how welcoming his family and friends have been to his new girlfriend. His family seem to prefer her over me and his friends hated me for no reason - I never even met them, yet she hangs out with them all the time and they love her? I feel like an idiot for still wanting him and missing him when he doesnít even think about me. How could he move on so quick? By the way, the day before he dumped me, he told me how much he loved me and asked if Iíd move in with him. He moved in with his new girlfriend after 5 months.... their relationship is moving so quick! Why me? Why am I never not good enough or treated the same

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. How do you know all this about him, his gf, his friends and family? If you are tracking his social media it's time to delete and block him and all his people from all your social media, messaging apps and devices. It's been a year.

    You miss being with someone, sure. This isn't about him or her or his family, friends, etc. It's about not addressing your own life and moving forward. However living in his shadow instead of focusing on your life your friends, family, interests, education, career, etc is keeping you very lonely and far away from the goal of having a bf/relationship again.
    Originally Posted by Ash12345
    My ex dumped me about a year ago and got into a relationship a couple of months later What bothers me most is how welcoming his family and friends have been to his new girlfriend.

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    You never met his friends, and yet you say they hated you. How could they hate someone they never met? Did they even know he was dating you?

    Also, to echo Wiseman's question, how do you know so many details about his new relationship?

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    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    You're the one responsible for mentally keeping him in your life, a place he doesn't deserve. Every time you ask someone about him and look at photos of him new or old, writing about him on this forum, you are preventing closure.

    Just because you two weren't a lifetime match, doesn't mean you are "less than." It just means someone else is right for him and someone else will be a better match for you. It usually takes dating a boatload of people before you find a keeper.

    You will never find out what he did what he did, so don't waste anymore brain space on him, because he no longer matters. When you have a fulfilling life besides having a bf, you will always get over breakups far better than when you make him the sole center of your social universe. If you've lost touch with girlfriends, reconnect. If you don't have a hobby, choose one. If you don't have a fulfilling career, take steps to achieve that.

    Once you go cold turkey without checking on him, it shouldn't take more than 4 to 6 months to stop thinking of him daily. You have the power to succeed on this issue, so make it happen.

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    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    If you havent blocked and deleted him in every possible way, today should be the day to do that. You need to move on from this, you will never know the details and you should not need to. Focus on yourself and moving forward in your life.

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    I know his friends hated me because they would tell him and his parents. Even though I never met them. Iíve tried not looking at their social media but I get curious

  8. #7
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ash12345
    I know his friends hated me because they would tell him and his parents. Even though I never met them. Iíve tried not looking at their social media but I get curious
    He would tell you his friends and his parents hated you?

    What's that guy's problem?

    You are well rid of him.

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    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ash12345
    I know his friends hated me because they would tell him and his parents. Even though I never met them. Iíve tried not looking at their social media but I get curious
    Obviously your ex told you that info. Cruel. I've never relayed negative info to someone told to me by someone else, because it would serve no purpose other than to make that person feel bad. And it sounds either like a lie or slander he generated, because how can anyone hate another unless they've met them, or been fed hideous info about them? Either way, you're pining away for garbage. How sad.

    You're not realizing you've left a toxic situation, so learn to recognize those red flags for better relationship success in the future. The second point you make of being curious? It's self-sabotaging, so stop it and your life will improve.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Ash....as the saying goes, we desire more what we can't have. You had tunnel vision when you were dating him..you only saw what you desired, and not how bad he was for you. We all make that mistake. Let it go, and move on from this. You are obsessing, and that is bad, it makes you look bad and is bad for you. there are better things to do than worry about what is going on in his life. It's over, there is no reason to think about him. You have your own life to live, now go live it.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Ash12345
    I know his friends hated me because they would tell him and his parents. Even though I never met them. Iíve tried not looking at their social media but I get curious
    And his parents told you they hated you?

    A lot of this isn't making much sense.

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