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Stuck in a situation with a girl?


ajandy32

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I need some advice dealing with a girl I like. I haven't dealt with someone like this before and I am not the most experienced when it comes to having 'game' with girls I like. 6 months ago, a girl who I've known for a while, started talking with me. We go to college together. We hooked up and became friends with benefits. She started taking it up a notch and was starting to hold me to a relationship standard. Making me send her rock music to listen to, telling her friends i was "her man", facetiming me often, and essentially talking to each other all the time with no boundaries. We agreed to be friends with benefits at first, but i started to like her too. Plus, she was really starting to act like she was starting to like me. I didn't say anything at first, because I like it. I eventually talked to her, and told her why i was confused. I told her how i felt about her, and she told me in response "there are feelings and emotions between us", and we decided to not hookup anymore and stay friends.

 

We ended up hooking up 4 more times after that, with her initiating it every time. We haven't hooked up in a while, but we still talk every day. She is still at home in quarantine and i am as well. Some days it seems as it she is all over me, and other days she is cold and distant. Whenever I act distant, she's reacted and said she feels like we are drifting apart, or says she feels like we haven't seen talking as much. This past weekend, I did not answer her texts because she had done it to me a day earlier and i didn't want to come on too strong. She texted me again later that same night telling me how she thought about me earlier in the day. She knows that i like her. She tells me she does not like me like that, but gets jealous when it comes to me talking to other girls. She's asked if me i ever talk to other girls to make her jealous, and to 'not get swooped up by her friends'. I don't want to lose her. I am not ready yet, but i am trying to maintain our relationship and secure another time to see her once this lockdown goes away. Neither of us are ready for a relationship right now, so I don't want her to expect to be ready just because I like her. I'm trying to be what she needs, but I am also confused as to why she sends mixed signals despite her saying she doesn't like me. Her actions show otherwise. She talks about me a lot to my friends as well as hers, saying good things. She's admitted that we connect on a deeper and emotional level. But, sometimes it's hard to control my feelings, especially when she sends these mixed signals. Why is she doing this? Is there anything I can do differently?

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She likes the attention she gets from you, but doesn't want to date you. So her ego takes a hit if she thinks you're talking to other girls but she doesn't feel strongly enough about you to take things further.

 

I would put some distance there. It's going to hurt too much when she eventually meets a guy she does want to date.

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She tells me she does not like me like that, but gets jealous when it comes to me talking to other girls. She's just not that into you, but likes to keep you dangling on the line for an ego boost. Doesn't care that she's playing with your heart when you are into her more than she's into you. Is an uncaring cat that bats you around like a mouse sound like the only woman you're worthy of? If so, your self esteem needs some boosting.

 

 

This past weekend, I did not answer her texts because she had done it to me a day earlier and i didn't want to come on too strong. With the woman who is right for you, you don't have to play games like this. You'll mesh seamlessly, put effort into each other naturally, and will both feel satisfied with the dynamic.

 

Neither of us are ready for a relationship right now, so I don't want her to expect to be ready just because I like her. You're fooling yourself. Because if you didn't want a relationship, you'd be happy with the hookups, and have zero expectations on text messages and their content.

 

This is the time of your life where you will be meeting hundreds of beautiful women. Don't be tied to the wrong one who doesn't give a crap about you, preventing you from getting to know another beauty who will share your exact same feelings. As a woman, I know I've never let an opportunity pass me by when a guy I had a crush on was interested in me. Your mistake is grasping for straws, trying to read into little things she says or does to imply she MIGHT be into you. The right woman will make this crystal clear and won't leave you stressed and guessing.

 

Tell her your friendship isn't working for you anymore and you're going no contact. Take charge of your life, because nobody has your back but you. When you act like a doormat, that's how you'll be used. Take care.

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