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Thread: How do I start talking about myself?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Protection mechanism? They can't hurt you if you don't let them get too close?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    People who talk about themselves tend to be bores. What makes you think this is some sort of good goal to have? No one wants to be your cocktail party therapist. No one has ever said this to you so why worry about it?
    Originally Posted by kathyb
    I'm super sociable at times
    if someone were to ask me "Hey, why are you so quiet, why don't you like to talk about yourself?"

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Perhaps you need to talk less about yourself particularity if you get drunk and TMI starts pouring out. Please get to a therapist or (online) support group. At least it is valuable, confidential and worthwhile. It sounds more like you are desperate to have someone to talk to not like you are reticent to talk. This last bf who told you to talk too much did you a great disservice.
    Originally Posted by kathyb
    I met this dude at school a few months back - got drunk with him later that day, basically poured my soul out

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    No one has ever said this to you so why worry about it?
    Sorry it wasn't clear, English is not my first language, but many people have asked me why I'm so quiet when it comes to talking about myself. It happens often and it's why I'm asking for advice here. No one besides my abusive parents has ever told me I talk too much.

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  6. #15
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    Do you like hearing about other people and their feelings about things? Can you start small and share for example why you like that certain kind of cake?

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    So? Just make small talk and be a good listener. Why can't you talk about current events, movies, interests, etc? If your parents or BFs were abusive, get to a therapist. Getting drunk and pouring your heart out to anyone who'll listen is not the answer.
    Originally Posted by kathyb
    people have asked me why I'm so quiet when it comes to talking about myself.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kathyb
    I went through a lot of trauma in life and learned very early on that my thoughts, feelings and opinions don't matter. To this day, it's hard for me to open up to people and to speak up when necessary. This has been causing problems in my relationships, because the closer people get to me, the more they realise how little they actually know about me.
    Can you give an example of a specific problem this has caused?

    I don't usually consider it to be a problem when I find out I don't know much about someone. I just assume they're a private person and I respect that.

  9. #18

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    Your thoughts, feelings and opinions are everything to you. They allow you to exist, and so matter more than anything.

    With everyone there is a part that people will never fully understand because they are not you, and that is fine. We are all in this boat. The same goes for people in our lives, we can spend time to try and get to know people as best as we can but we will never know it all, or lots of it realistically. I don't think this is a bad think, as if we fully understood someone they would become a little boring to us.

    Have you ever thought of writing those answers down in a journal rather than speak? For many this can be a way to get true thoughts out as you don't have to worry about how they sound. You could always go on to share some points in your journal if you choose to.

    Start small, there is no rush.

  10. #19
    When you shared that drinking allowed you to express yourself, drinking can drop your guard, allowing you to share things regardless. Talking with a counselor can help you understand why and give you the ability to have more meaningful relationships. Hoping the best for you.

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