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Thread: Left my boyfriend!

  1. #1
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    Left my boyfriend!

    I have been with my partner for several months. He has children with his ex so i always knew she would always be a part of his life. Thats fine. I was prepared for that. What i was not prepared for was for her blaming me for every problem and argument they have had since me and him got together. Yesterday i had enough and i messaged her to tell her to stop putting everything on me.

    She tried to argue but i told her i was not going to argue with her. She then proceeded to tell me that they were still together at the time we got together. I did not know this. At first i told her i did not believe her but she sent me screenshots of messages between the two of them, some being him declaring his love for her.

    She then sent me screenshots of messages between the 2 of them about sex and their sex life, the dates of these showed they were sent months after we got together.

    I asked for more to see what else had been said and so that i could confront him. She still continued to blame me for coming between him and their children. I told her i was leaving him so that should solve that problem. She said if he knew it was her that caused it that he would pull even further away from the children so i made up another reason when i spoke to him.

    For the last 6 months i have been lead to believe that she has stopped him seeing the children and that she is basically the devil in disguise. After speaking to her and seeing all the screenshots of everything i now know this is not the case and that she was right when she has been telling me he has been lying to us both.

    When i told her i had left him, minutes after it had happened, her reply was that he had already told her. They were arguing only 10 minutes before hand.

    Anyways my question is now that i have ended things and left him to go back to my mums, when is a good time to change my relationship status? I already changed my profile pic from the 2 of us whilst talking to his ex as i knew i was ending things. He changed his from the 2 of us this morning.

    Im so heartbroken. I really did love him and we have overcome alot already in our relationship. I am sure he will now go running back to her saying what a mistake he has made.
    I thought i knew him but it turns out i didnt know him at all and none of his mates told me he was engaged when we started talking, it was even one of his best friends who pushed us together. I am absolutely in bits right now. I now see why she has hated me from the start, i thought she was just a typical bitter jealous ex. We were staying else where for the lockdown so i still need to go back to his to collect my things too as i have been living there for the last few months

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    I havent told anyone yet that we are over other than his ex and the people we were staying with as obviously they were there when it happened. I am absolutely devastated!
    Last edited by Hannah97; 04-01-2020 at 12:48 PM.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hannah97

    Anyways my question is now that i have ended things and left him to go back to my mums, when is a good time to change my relationship status? I already changed my profile pic from the 2 of us whilst talking to his ex as i knew i was ending things.
    Is this your question for us??

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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Is this your question for us??
    Yes. Sorry for rambling

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Honestly, no one I know publicly changes their relationship status anymore unless it's something big like an engagement or having gotten married. The "in / out of a relationship, it's complicated, etc." fad seems to be over. If you're so worried, you can just hide it from your profile. No drama and you'll avoid the avalanche of thirsty DMs falling on top of you.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Immediately delete and block him and all his people from all your messaging apps, social media and devices. He played you and cheated on her. Sadly the relationship was a sham. It's not about her, he's the snake in the grass here.🐍
    Originally Posted by Hannah97
    i have ended things and left him to go back to my mums, when is a good time to change my relationship status? none of his mates told me he was engaged when we started talking

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    Originally Posted by j.man
    Honestly, no one I know publicly changes their relationship status anymore unless it's something big like an engagement or having gotten married. The "in / out of a relationship, it's complicated, etc." fad seems to be over. If you're so worried, you can just hide it from your profile. No drama and you'll avoid the avalanche of thirsty DMs falling on top of you.
    I still have it that he is tagged in it stating in a relationship with him

  9. #8
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hannah97
    I still have it that he is tagged in it stating in a relationship with him
    It doesn't matter. You can hide it and then change it. It doesn't put it on your timeline or anything. Unless you want the attention; then go for it whenever you want. I'm not judging. I'm just assuming the publicity is why you're hesitant to change it.

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    Originally Posted by j.man
    It doesn't matter. You can hide it and then change it. It doesn't put it on your timeline or anything. Unless you want the attention; then go for it whenever you want. I'm not judging. I'm just assuming the publicity is why you're hesitant to change it.
    It is, yes. I dont really want it to be public knowledge just yet and also i feel quite heartless by removing it straightaway especially considering i told him i had cheated when i left. I didnt, but i didnt want to involve his ex incase it caused more problems with the children and this way i knew he wouldnt fight to stop me going

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Hannah97
    It is, yes. I dont really want it to be public knowledge just yet and also i feel quite heartless by removing it straightaway especially considering i told him i had cheated when i left. I didnt, but i didnt want to involve his ex incase it caused more problems with the children and this way i knew he wouldnt fight to stop me going
    You feel heartless? This man has been lying to you and cheating on you.

    I also am quite astonished to hear that you lied to him about cheating on him, though I assume this was an attempt to hurt him the way he has hurt you. Not being honest about knowing about the affair is silly. You can't cause him to pull away from his children. That is all on him. Who cares what his ex wants? She sure didn't care about your best interests, until it became too inconvenient for her to continue hiding the fact he's been cheating on you with her. She is no saint either, so I am not sure why you're doing what she says. Where's your backbone, girl?

    Get all of these people out of your life. When you change your status is up to you, and makes little different to the outcome. So, do it whenever you feel ready to acknowledge to people that your relationship is over.

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