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Thread: Left my boyfriend!

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hannah97
    I dont know why i didnt check for myself that he was single.
    Because it's normal to trust other people. Were you supposed to hire a private detective?

    You took him at face value. That doesn't make you stupid.

    Originally Posted by Hannah97
    His ex said it was public on his facebook page that he was engaged to her but i just never looked. And the way he said it when i confronted him after we got together and found out he was with someone, when he said they were over he made it seem like it was not a recent thing. Yet i found out they werent even over at the time and he was still telling her how in love with her he was.
    Yes, it would have helped you to check Facebook, but he can lie on Facebook just as surely as he can lie to your face.

    But let's imagine that you see a discrepancy like this in the future. What will you do? Now you know to run the other way!!

    Originally Posted by Hannah97
    Everything i thought i knew about him seems to have been a lie. She said she is not what he has made her out to be and that he is not what he jas made himself out to be and looking at the messages between them and the things that have happened, she is right.
    Imagine what he's saying about you!

    You gotta cut these people off. What happened here sucks and it's painful, I know.

    Unfortunately, there isn't an insta-off for the pain. It will take time to fade. But you will feel better, I promise.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hannah97
    I dont want him back. It was me that left him. I just dont know when is an appropriate time as i dont want to seem heartless and also dont want everyone knowing just yet but i dont want him holding out hope either
    Heartless? The guy lied and cheated, there is another woman and a child getting hurt by this and you think removing your status would be heartless? Sweetie, remove it now because not removing it is what is heartless. Remove right now. Stop this craziness. When you do what is actually right you'll feel better, take your power back. When you are sitting here diddling away at the idea....your motivations are starting to look suspect....and you are just hurting yourself more by dragging this out when you don't need to at all.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Won't you be embarrassed when your contacts notice the guy you tagged as "in a relationship with", is actually engaged to someone else? Delete and block him and all his people from all your social media, messaging apps and devices. Your people can easily see that his social media reflects that he is engaged to someone and had a family with her. Do some damage control.
    Originally Posted by Hannah97
    I dont want him back. It was me that left him. I just dont know when is an appropriate time as i dont want to seem heartless and also dont want everyone knowing just yet but i dont want him holding out hope either

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Won't you be embarrassed when your contacts notice the guy you tagged as "in a relationship with", is actually engaged to someone else? Delete and block him and all his people from all your social media, messaging apps and devices. Your people can easily see that his social media reflects that he is engaged to someone and had a family with her. Do some damage control.
    They havent been together. I found out the were still together at the start of our relationship but he ended things with her soon after we got together. He didn't tell her about us for some time though and it was only after that that she started to send me messages blaming me for everything that had happened between them and for the pain it was causing their children.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    How is this Facebook thing even important?

    Who will see you as "heartless"? Are you worried about making him angry? If so, why do you even care and why would that even cross your mind?

    It's just Facebook for goodness sake.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I'm sorry if I'm mistaking this with another thread, but was this the same relationship where, not long ago, a mysterious person was spreading unsavory rumors about you over Facebook? I ask because, like bolt, I'm kind of trying to understand why Facebook, of all things, still holds some kind of importance here.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    I'm sorry if I'm mistaking this with another thread, but was this the same relationship where, not long ago, a mysterious person was spreading unsavory rumors about you over Facebook? I ask because, like bolt, I'm kind of trying to understand why Facebook, of all things, still holds some kind of importance here.
    No no one has spread any rumours about me. That i am aware of atleast. The only reason it matters to me is this was my first real relationship and it was kind of a big to me changing to say in a relationship and i do not know the etticate around removing it. I have never had someones name on my page in that way before. I am not ready for people to be asking questions about the break up and also as we now know a lot of the same people i do not want to discuss things with any of them right now as no one knows i know the things i do and would rather it stay that way, for the time being atleast.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    So you're going to pretend you two are still together because you're afraid your friends will make fun of you or something for being single?

    What kind of friends do you have that would judge you on something so trivial as a Facebook status? And what age group are you that something that trivial is so important?

    You could also hide your relationship status, but if you want people to think you're still together you wouldn't want to do that, right?

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    The only thing you can control and take charge of in your life right now is your own actions and social media presence. Why put this cheater on a pedestal and make a fool of yourself to your social media contacts.? Regain control and delete and block him and his people from your social media. When you delete him, you can move forward and start talking to other, decent guys.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Sorry about the mixup.

    I understand this is a painful moment, but I honestly think you'll feel better—sooner than you know, and faster—if you just own this whole thing as reality. A guy you thought was One Thing turned out to be a Whole 'Nother Thing. Keeping the lie preserved on social media does nothing but mess with your head.

    I'm assuming you're pretty young, and the good news here is that this is just a few months of your life, as it's just starting out, that has delivered a boatload of vital lessons. The moment you let go of him and this whole chapter—for real—is the moment you can start listening to those lessons, and living them.

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