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Thread: Left my boyfriend!

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    You feel heartless? This man has been lying to you and cheating on you.

    I also am quite astonished to hear that you lied to him about cheating on him, though I assume this was an attempt to hurt him the way he has hurt you. Not being honest about knowing about the affair is silly. You can't cause him to pull away from his children. That is all on him. Who cares what his ex wants? She sure didn't care about your best interests, until it became too inconvenient for her to continue hiding the fact he's been cheating on you with her. She is no saint either, so I am not sure why you're doing what she says. Where's your backbone, girl?

    Get all of these people out of your life. When you change your status is up to you, and makes little different to the outcome. So, do it whenever you feel ready to acknowledge to people that your relationship is over.
    She didnt know about our relationship when they were speaking that way, or atleast not from the texts she showed me. She showed me when he told her about us and it was after the dates on the sex texts. And as far as i am aware they argued ever since she found out so i believe her. I know i dont owe her anything and since finding out about us she has blamed me for everything but i feel like i have caused pain to their children and do not want to be the cause of more

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Hannah97
    i feel like i have caused pain to their children and do not want to be the cause of more
    This is where your thinking is flawed. He is causing pain to his children, not you.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    This is where your thinking is flawed. He is causing pain to his children, not you.
    I know but i feel i have enabled that to happen. I just don't know what to think anymore. My head is all over the place. I feel so stupid that i didn't check that he was single but i knew his mates, they introduced us and no one told me he was engaged. She doesn't believe i didn't know, just as i am sure no one else will either. I don't know where to go from here

  4. #14
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hannah97
    She didnt know about our relationship when they were speaking that way, or atleast not from the texts she showed me. She showed me when he told her about us and it was after the dates on the sex texts. And as far as i am aware they argued ever since she found out so i believe her. I know i dont owe her anything and since finding out about us she has blamed me for everything but i feel like i have caused pain to their children and do not want to be the cause of more
    Look, she has a child with him and no doubt it's hell for her right now, finding out that the guy she bred with, the guy she is engaged to is a lying, cheating, double life leading sociopath. She is going through a great deal of pain and denial and unlike you, she is tied to this psycho for 18 years give or take. So it's not surprising she is putting the blame on you right now, rather than facing the music and who the real culprit is. No doubt he is also doing a whole lot of dancing around this, lying, and gaslighting her.

    You telling her you are out of this is very very smart, wise, intelligent, and otherwise super awesome move. As for social media? Eff it. Tell your close friends the truth because you want their support and need some cheerleaders in your corner. As for everyone else - you can change your status any time you want, but do yourself a huge favor and block him and anyone connected to him from all of your social media. You do not need these toxic low lives in your life. He clearly surrounds himself with scum who facilitate his lying and cheating. If you simply want to digest in private - then just hide your status entirely and that will take care of things and just keep it that way permanently. This way you never have to have this dilemma because at the end of the day, people in your life who need to know, already know and everyone else doesn't matter.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hannah97
    Anyways my question is now that i have ended things and left him to go back to my mums, when is a good time to change my relationship status?
    Change it when it happens! Why delay? It's not like the fate of the world is resting on the outcome of this relationship.

    Originally Posted by Hannah97
    For the last 6 months i have been lead to believe that she has stopped him seeing the children and that she is basically the devil in disguise. After speaking to her and seeing all the screenshots of everything i now know this is not the case and that she was right when she has been telling me he has been lying to us both.
    Well, you've learned an important life lesson: Men who have this much to say about their exes are bad news.

    Originally Posted by Hannah97
    I asked for more to see what else had been said and so that i could confront him. She still continued to blame me for coming between him and their children. I told her i was leaving him so that should solve that problem. She said if he knew it was her that caused it that he would pull even further away from the children so i made up another reason when i spoke to him.
    Honestly, that was probably a very smart move on your part. Disengage. Don't get more tangled up in the personal mess of these two slobs.

    Originally Posted by Hannah97
    Im so heartbroken. I really did love him and we have overcome alot already in our relationship. I am sure he will now go running back to her saying what a mistake he has made. I thought i knew him but it turns out i didnt know him at all and none of his mates told me he was engaged when we started talking, it was even one of his best friends who pushed us together.
    Totally understandable. It sucks, but everyone isn't interested in the best interests of others. Some people actually enjoy undermining them. Those people suck at life.

    It may seem unbelievable at this moment and for some time into the future, but you are actually in a way better position now that you were when you were with him.

  7. #16
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    I just feel so lost right now. Like an absolute fool. I dont know why i didnt check for myself that he was single. His ex said it was public on his facebook page that he was engaged to her but i just never looked. And the way he said it when i confronted him after we got together and found out he was with someone, when he said they were over he made it seem like it was not a recent thing. Yet i found out they werent even over at the time and he was still telling her how in love with her he was. Everything i thought i knew about him seems to have been a lie. She said she is not what he has made her out to be and that he is not what he jas made himself out to be and looking at the messages between them and the things that have happened, she is right. Even after telling her we were over she was still cold and i would say filled with hate towards me but she even asked if i was ok. I can not believe either that even though they were arguing at the time and had been for days prior, that within minutes of me leaving him he had already told her. It took him months to tell her we were together, he used to tell me she would cause no end of grief if she saw us together when i dropped him to see the children, that he used to be carwful never to mention my name so as not to cause arguments and then it only took him a matter of minutes to tell her i had ended things.

  8. #17
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    Sorry i keep posting i just feel i have no one to talk to right now as i don't want everyone knowing just yet. I'm still processing. I still haven't changed my status yet so it still says in a relationship with him. Why hasn't he changed it on his side yet? Is he holding out hope of getting back together?

  9. #18
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Removing the relationship status line from a profile is not an earth shattering act. Are you sure that that's what you want to discuss?

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Even if you insist on keeping it 'social media official" after the breakup, it will not bring him back.
    Originally Posted by Hannah97
    I still haven't changed my status. Is he holding out hope of getting back together?

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Even if you insist on keeping it 'social media official" after the breakup, it will not bring him back.
    I dont want him back. It was me that left him. I just dont know when is an appropriate time as i dont want to seem heartless and also dont want everyone knowing just yet but i dont want him holding out hope either

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