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Thread: Is getting back together an option?

  1. #1

    Is getting back together an option?

    My ex boyfriend and I are both in our 20s and our relationship was the first serious relationship for both of us.
    We broke up right before the current pandemic started.
    We were long distance and he moved here and once he was here his feelings “changed” he didn’t feel the excitement anymore and I think what he wanted changed too. He just started working and has met people that he has more stuff in common with so they’re connecting in ways we never did and he doesn’t feel like thats fair to me according to him.
    So we broke up after a week of him being here. I’ve chosen to interpret his thoughts as “the grass is greener on the other side” I don’t know if it’s greener or not (I really doubt it) but I guess he’ll find out.
    However, currently, we’re hooking up like every half week/week, since corona. We agreed that it’ll just be a causal thing. Whilst it hurt at first, I get it if his feelings changed. Sh*t happens. That’s life. And although we agreed that whatever is said during the heat of the moment, belongs in the heat of the moment, he says things that make it hard to believe that his feelings have changed and I’m not sure if he’s saying it out of habit or if he’s saying it saying it. He knows I’m talking with other people, and in the middle of things, he’d be all possessive, saying that I’m his, or that no one can make me feel the way he does(maybe an ego thing??). or he’d stare into my eyes or suggest we spoon or stroke my cheek gently or tell me he has missed me in his arms etc.
    After all of this, I did ask him if he still felt the way he did when we broke up and he said he does.
    I know I probably shouldn’t be getting with him but I know it’s just physical (til he does things that makes me think otherwise) and it’s a temporary situation, til corona blows over and then we’ll stop and probably go no contact for a while

    So I guess my question is, does it seem like reconciliation is an option at any point? Is it possible that this is just a phase or something? Could this just be because he moved closer and we’ve always been a ldr so it’s all new and he got scared or something? Or because he just started his first job post-graduating and he can’t maintain a relationship rn as he enters adulthood? Or am I just making excuses for him in a bid to understand this whole thing and get back together?

    Thank you for reading/commenting

  2. #2
    Silver Member dion333's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    H's only saying 'it's not fair on you' because that's what alot of men do to girls ,to shift the blame. Cowardly. He us just using you. He will get rid once he has someone wlese. Sorry, sounds harsh, but h's just being selfish and having his cake and eating it too. Dump him!

  3. #3
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    He can't get sex anywhere else right now due to the pandemic, so he knows he can come to you. Basically, he's demoted you to uncommitted sex partner.

    He says pretty things because it gets him what he wants (sex).

    And sure, humans like cuddling and contact. All of us do. But that doesn't mean he wants to reconcile.

    I would stop the casual, uncommitted sex and see if he still comes around.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    So you are having sex with him in hopes that he will look at you as GF material again? Do you think that is a good plan? I do hope you two are having safe sex because who knows who he has been sleeping with and what if you get pregnant?
    Im sure your plan will work. Keep it up.
    Or just another thought... maybe the more he spends time with you the easier it is to emotionally distance himself from you...
    Nah, Im sure you being a familiar sex partner is a sure thing.


  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    Why sleep with someone who puts you down this much?

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