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Thread: Canít say I love you in front of family members 😕

  1. #1

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    Canít say I love you in front of family members 😕

    Hi guys ,
    I know the title might sound weird or ridiculous to some but Iíve been dating my partner for almost 4 years now and I know I love him and care so much about him and our relationship; but I just canít seem to tell him I love you back when weíre around my family. Every time were on the phone and hes about to hang up he says I love you and and I usually just say me too when theirs family members around because I feel awkward to say it in front of them. Iíve never been the type to be able to express openly my emotions to others and I feel uncomfortable. So obviously he gets frustrated because when itís just me and him Iím able to say it at the top of my lungs and it annoys him as well that after all this time I still canít say it in front of them. Do you guys have any advice? I donít know if maybe itís something deeper than what Iím telling myself or what . Help please ! 😕😕😕

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I have the same problem! Or I did when I lived at home, I never told anyone I loved them in any situation. I dont think it's weird, because I am the same as you.

    Now that I am married with grown kids I can say it to them and my husband, and it doesnt feel weird at all.

    I think for me it may go back to the bad relationship I had with my mother. In my entire live she never once told me she loved me.

  3. #3

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    Thank you this helped me feel a lot better 💛 I definitely donít feel like a horrible girlfriend anymore :)

  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    I have the same problem! Or I did when I lived at home, I never told anyone I loved them in any situation. I dont think it's weird, because I am the same as you.

    Now that I am married with grown kids I can say it to them and my husband, and it doesnt feel weird at all.

    I think for me it may go back to the bad relationship I had with my mother. In my entire live she never once told me she loved me.
    All of this is me too.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Some people/family are more reserved than others.That's fine. He needs to grow up and realize that. As long as you can express affection in person /privately there's no problem.

    What is a problem however is his 'frustration' and pressuring you and making you feel 'horrible'. Never let someone call the shots over something as simple as this. Stand up for yourself and family and tell him you/they are conservative, reserved, whatever and if he has another tantrum, dump him.
    Originally Posted by Nicole930
    Every time were on the phone and hes about to hang up he says I love you and and I usually just say me too when theirs family members around .

    he gets frustrated. it annoys him as well that after all this time I still canít say it in front of them.

  7. #6
    Forum Supporter Fudgie's Avatar
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    I'm just like you in this way. I am not dating/in a relationship but I was the same way when I was.

    There's nothing wrong with it and I think it's wrong of your boyfriend to pressure you in this way.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I'm glad to find out I am not the only one who has had to deal with this.

    On the other hand there are those who seem to say I love you all the time, no matter the situation. Go to get the mail, tell them I love you. Go to the corner store, tell them I love you. For me, it's too much, too constant. Anyone else feel like that?

  9. #8
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    I'm married 9 years, and never say "I love you" to hubs in front of my family - that's corny. Just say it in person. Any on the phone, say a code like, "Olive Juice," (which visually looks like I love you) or according to the Jetsons, "Eep-Oop-Ork-Ah-Ah - and that means I love you."

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Join the club. I'm the same way. I'm a very private person and only say, "I love you" to my husband and sons when we're together but not surrounded by anyone else and likewise, they're the same way as well. There is nothing ridiculous about this. It's perfectly normal.

    Tell him this is how you and most people are which is very normal. Your partner should be secure enough that he doesn't need to demonstrate to the world by having you announce to everyone how much you love him publicly. Secure and confident people exercise discretion.

    I've noticed that couples who are overly demonstrative with their "I love you words" or physical touching in public are insecure because they want to make sure everyone hears and observes them constantly. Get a room!


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