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Thread: Wheres the line between flirting & cheating

  1. #11
    Gold Member Skeptic76's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    There is a difference in a bar tender complimenting someone to ensure better tips vs rubbing, grinding, etc. She not only crossed the line, she jumped it with a motorcycle and a ramp.

    I would not leave the family home! She is the cheater, not you. you stay put and make her sleep in the guest room or on the sofa. Do not leave and be classified as abandoning the youngest who is at home. Do not move out unless a divorce attorney/judge orders you to. Also, don't put your kids in the middle of this. I suggest marriage counseling if she was drunk and this has never happened before even if you ultimately split up
    This is wisdom ☝🏻

    Though when something like this happened to me I wanted to make my wife feel as bad as I did, that was NOT going to happen. My best moves were made when I completely disengaged her. Be civil but no more “talking it over” unless it’s with an impartial, professional third party.

    Talk to legal counsel about how to best protect your relationship with the youngest child and equitably divide community property before making any major changes!

  2. #12
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    DO NOT MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE/APARTMENT!

    It could be viewed as abandonment, besides she is the one that cheated not you. Tell her she needs to start sleeping on the couch or a spare bedroom until you figure out what YOU want to do.

    -Get legal advice.
    -Be smart and do not promise anything to her or anyone else.
    -Do not go after the guy she was dry humping.
    -There is no rush to do anything so slow down and make smart choices for your life going forward. This is a huge shock so take time to digest everything and get your feet back under you.
    -Don't discuss it with the children at all other than to announce that either you are divorcing or entering into counseling.
    -Do not allow the fear of the unknown future control your decisions. Right now you have no idea what will happen but I guarantee you staying with a wife that so easily disrespects you and your marriage will be 10 times worse than anything you can imagine.
    -Cheaters lie and then lie some more to cover what they have done. After they are done lying they try to lesson their cheating "we are only friends" "it was harmless flirting" "I was drunk"... Then comes turning it back on you and blaming you for being jealous, controlling, ridiculous, not trusting, jumping to conclusions and on and on. Don't fall for it!
    -It does not matter what the children think or what anyone else thinks of her cheating, it only matters what you think. Remember that.

    She doesn't sound remorseful and contrite to me. I would think she would apologize until she was blue in the face, start figuring out how to fix what she did, make all kinds of promises to change and anything else she could think of to save the marriage. I didn't see anything like that mentioned.

    Keep posting, it will help

    Lost

  3. #13
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    Sorry brother, this isn’t flirting, it is cheating. She gaslight you then when shown her actions, she lied to protect the OM.
    No job is worth putting up with a cheating, disrespectful actions. She can either give up the job or give up the marriage. Do you want to be waiting for her to come home how many hours after the bar is closed before you say enough.
    One day at a time.
    Buffer

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