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Thread: My boyfriend was told that he is a father now from his abusive ex.

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Excellent. Focus on your education and career and future. Reconnect with friends and family. Stay out of their business ans stop having sex with him. Stop throwing your life away on this guy and his gf/child He has an entire family without you. He cheats, he lies, he has indiscriminate sex, he doesn't use protection, he tried to shirk responsibility when a pregnancy happens, he abuses drug. He's a loser. Leave them alone.

    It was just a couple months of hookups. You could find better guys with more integrity and less drama, never go through the dumpster to find dates. Use a telemedicine service to find a doctor/therapist you can talk to. .
    Originally Posted by sgtpepper
    I am 22 and in my Senior year of college.

  2. #22
    Forum Supporter Fudgie's Avatar
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    i'm glad you've decided to move on from him. You're a smart woman. Be wary next time of people who make it seem like they are always a victim and are never at fault. The guy freaking abused drugs, that's on HIM. Yes, he was in a stressful situation with an abusive partner but he still chose to take drugs. He's a big boy and he needs to own his own choices.

    You lost me at the "he lived with a friend and a gf who ruined his life/stalked them/put chips in their phones/read their messages/told his ex". What is that kind of crazy s__t? Why does this guy have a cyclone of drama trailing him with stalking, phone-chipping people? Who is the common denominator here? It's HIM.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    He does love the drama or he'd disengage. He would also get the paternity test. He doesn't because then he would lose a source of drama and excitement.

    This is him.

    Good on you for detaching from his drama.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by sgtpepper
    But it is what it is and I told him today that it best to focus on our problems separate. He apologized for everything and never meant to hurt me...but yeah it was bad timing.
    This was a very good idea, OP.

    He has far too many serious issues for this to work out between you two. You don't need this chaos, particularly with a guy you've only dated for 2 months. If drama follows him, well, he is the common denominator, no?

    Time to leave this guy in your past.

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  6. #25
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    No his roommates girlfriend was the one being a cyclone. Her stealing money, chipping his and her boyfriends phone and staking wherever they go and who ever they talked too. Common denominator? Like idk if he even thought that stuff would be put upon him but it did and idk if he asked to be in it but he did and if tried to fix it because he wanted to leave so bad and he did and i helped him and i was happy and so did his roommate because she was insane.

  7. #26
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    Ok so yeah we broke it off. He is coming to pick up his stuff later on. I was so angry that I told him something that it pissed him off. I told him "if you just worn a condom, none of this would be happening." But he thought I was referring to the kid, but I was referring to doing it with his ex and not being protected. But it happened and I'm furious that it had to be like this. I really need a punching bag right now because I keep letting stuff like this happen. I expected so much from him and I overloved and thought he was the one to spend my life with....I do need time off from dating for a while. Through out my life, it's always been jumping from next relationship to the next. I never gave myself a break since high school. Which is like 6 or 7 years of jumping and jumping. It's so bad and I never got to rest. I was abused, assaulted physically and sexually. Because I wanted love. In Psychology, when one person jumps from relationship to relationship it means that they never had enough emotional support and not loved enough by there own family. So they search for that kind of love they want but it hurts them more in the end and they don't give up until they have enough. It's like running through a battlefield while your getting shot at by bullets but you feel indestructible and you would feel the pain but ignore it and keep on going. But when being in quarantine this could help me love and heal myself for once. So yeah...I have online classes, I'm exercising, I'm spending time on my own and hoping to pick up new hobbies along the way. So this is gonna feel like a long journey. Thank you all so much for your comments. I do appreciate your time. Wish me luck and stay indoors and be safe from the virus.

    Love sgtpepper <3

  8. #27
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Can he pick up his stuff another time?

    You have no idea how much time he's been spending with that other woman, where they've gone or who SHE has exposed herself to.

    Is his stuff anything he absolutely cannot live without for a few weeks? "Stuff" isn't worth contracting a deadly virus.

  9. #28
    Forum Supporter Fudgie's Avatar
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    You should pack up his things and leave in a box outside for him for a contactless pickup. Don't let him inside, don't come out to talk to him.

    And yeah, he should have worn a rubber but that would have been no fun for him because he loves drama

  10. #29
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    Yeah..he never told me that he spent almost the whole day with her a couple of days ago...and he lied to me that he did get the paternity test and it all came back positive...it isn't but I might just put it outside his where he lives because I cannot stand seeing it now...

  11. #30
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    Him not wearing a rubber was something he never thought it through I guess it was in the moment. But still no excuse....But I would just throw it all in front of his house tomorrow.

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