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Thread: Iím confused I donít know what this is anymore

  1. #1

    Iím confused I donít know what this is anymore

    i canít even have free time away from her.. we live together on a campus.. but I want for example to go workout for a bit alone or visit my family at home for a weekend.. boom she thinks Iím choosing the gym over her or boom she is going to break up with me if I go home for a weekend blah blah blah.. Iím so tired of it.. I told her one day that if she wants me to give up on my hobbies that will not happen.. she said she just thinks Iím more excited to go to the gym rather than spend time with her!

    But like I spend countless hours with her and the gym is my time to mentally beat up my stresses.. I like both why canít I have both..weve been together 2 years as well.. sheís thrown things at me, broken my small useless items like a comb of mine, spat on me twice.. and everytime we fight, its my fault and she ďwantsĒ to break up.. Iíve confronted her yesterday saying it feels like you want so bad out of this relationship so essentially,,, leave if u want to.. she says she doesnít actually wanna break up??? Iím So confused Iím tired.
    I love her I want to be with her.. I just also want the ability to have my own independence and I feel like that I canít with her.. like I have to act so perfectly around her or else boom simple mistake and big yelling and then sheíll start throwing things or whatever she wants.. I feel like I almost canít bring up the fact that I want a little free time to do whatever bc I donít want her to explode Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why would you live with someone like this? Is it that difficult to find roommates or dates? What makes you want to stay in this situation and not do anything to improve it? Why chose toxic and abusive? What's in this for you?
    Originally Posted by WaterThrower
    we live together on a campus.. weve been together 2 years as well... sheís thrown things at me, broken my small useless items like a comb of mine, spat on me twice..

  3. #3
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    Why do you want to be with this abusive woman?

    What advice do you think we'd give a woman whose boyfriend throws things at her, breaks her belongings, and spits on her?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    You are being emotionally abused*

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  6. #5
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    This is abusive behaviour and it shouldn't be tolerated. But I know that's easier said than done.

    If I had to guess why she does it, I'd say it sounds like she is reliant on you for her happiness. She sounds extremely insecure and like someone who feels rejected very easily, which in turn makes her feel out of control. So she tried to control you.

    As long as you'll let her get away with it, she'll probably continue. Things may even get worse. She has some serious issues which she needs to address, preferably alone. But if you are going to stay with her, you need to sit down with her, calmly, and explain that you will no longer tolerate this abusive behaviour. If you love her, reassure her that she is loved and doesn't need to feel rejected. If she continues after you have done that, please leave her before she potentially does anything worse.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    If you scroll down on the forum, you'll find the post: Partner is very emotional and clingy all the time.

    Look and see what that guy's life is like 6 years into it, and yours will continue to be very similar.

    leave if u want to.. she says she doesnít actually wanna break up??? Iím So confused Iím tired. Why are you so passive, leaving the decision in her hands? You already had the discussion of how you enjoy living, which is reasonable. She doesn't care, so what you think of as "love" within the relationship is a false perception.

    Even if you do love her, having a partner who wants you joined at her hip 24/7 should be a dealbreaker. When you break up, after some time and distance away from her toxicity, you will shake your head at why you stayed so long. And when you eventually meet a woman who has her own fulfilling life BESIDES you, just as you have yours, you will appreciate Miss Right that much more.

  8. #7
    Originally Posted by Lemon2018
    This is abusive behaviour and it shouldn't be tolerated. But I know that's easier said than done.

    If I had to guess why she does it, I'd say it sounds like she is reliant on you for her happiness. She sounds extremely insecure and like someone who feels rejected very easily, which in turn makes her feel out of control. So she tried to control you.

    As long as you'll let her get away with it, she'll probably continue. Things may even get worse. She has some serious issues which she needs to address, preferably alone. But if you are going to stay with her, you need to sit down with her, calmly, and explain that you will no longer tolerate this abusive behaviour. If you love her, reassure her that she is loved and doesn't need to feel rejected. If she continues after you have done that, please leave her before she potentially does anything worse.
    Thanks guys.. I was starting to kind of think that but I was unsure.. for me she used to be my best friend.. it was great at first I loved being with her and the same was for her.. I donít know where I screwed up but at one point she almost flipped a switch like 6 or so months ago.. then she told me that Iím too much like my brother and then she doesnít like my family and friend and then this or that bothers her about me.. idk thereís a lot.. I feel like she just stopped trying and stopped respecting and supporting things I started to do.. I donít know why and I miss the old her

    I have just told her 2 days ago that I will always love her do consistently chose her over something else I wanna do.. but I feel like based on what u guys are telling and what Iím feeling.. I feel like the next time she yells at me and insults me or essentially does anything that isnít a good way to bring up issues.. Iím gonna be straight up and stop taking those insults and such

  9. #8
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    So this abuse only started 6 months ago?

  10. #9
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    Why are you still with her? She is abusive and manipulative, what do you love about that?.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Is the sex porn star level fantastic or something?

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