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Thread: Is he over sensitive or did I overreact?

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Sorry about all this.

    Easiest read, to my eyes? You've learned, very quickly, that this is not a man worth your time. Always a bummer, and I'm sure the sting is a bit more potent than usual because of those 3 months talking. Still, facts here are facts: you had one nice date, and, prior to setting up the other one, he showed you in more ways than one that he's a bozo.

    First way: sending you photos of him with women. Makes no sense. As lame as lame gets.

    Second way: reacting to your concerns as he did, getting into the "hotness" comparisons. Yawn. That's frat boy stuff, boring stuff, stuff to shrug off with a laugh.

    So, yeah, a bummer. But better to know all this now than to discover it as real connection, and real attachment forms.
    He said, he sent me those pictures to show the how the funny hat attracted women to it and those women in the pic had it on. So I'm unsure if the pic is really about the women or the hat.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. What was the hold up in first meeting? Social isolation was not an issues as far back as 3 mos ago. How old is he? Calling you "controlling" and "jealous" after one date is as much of a red flag as stalling to meet and sending you pics of women. Sadly too much texting before meeting gave you a false sense of things.

    At least you are able to make this a one-and-done and can now move on from him. If you can't have a candid conversation that indicates this can just die out. Delete and block him and all his people from all your messaging apps, social media and devices. Also, in the future, keep old baggage in the past. no
    Originally Posted by TanyaJo
    I went on a date with a man whom I've been texting for 3 months. We first met it was a very nice first date, we spend 5 hours just talking and walking.
    So I did mention to him over text that I was not comfortable him sending me pics of random strangers who I don't know. He took it wrongly and thought I was controlling

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sorry to hear this. What was the hold up in first meeting? Social isolation was not an issues as far back as 3 mos ago. How old is he? Calling you "controlling" and "jealous" after one date is as much of a red flag as stalling to meet and sending you pics of women. Sadly too much texting before meeting gave you a false sense of things.

    At least you are able to make this a one-and-done and can now move on from him. If you can't have a candid conversation that indicates this can just die out. Delete and block him and all his people from all your messaging apps, social media and devices. Also, in the future, keep old baggage in the past. no
    We started texting from Jan and we met just before the lockdown. He is 41 and I am 33.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TanyaJo
    He said, he sent me those pictures to show the how the funny hat attracted women to it and those women in the pic had it on. So I'm unsure if the pic is really about the women or the hat.
    Po-ta-to, po-tah-to.

    Dude is a dunce. There are plenty out there, along with plenty of dunce-ettes. Let him find one, and be excited about future encounters with non-dunces. You're easing back into dating, have learned that 90 days of chitchat, fun as it may be, adds up to nothing. Cool. A lesson to live.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Yes, let him find some brainless woman who will be impressed by the fact that he has some hat that attracts women,..lol.

    They'd be a good pair.

    Throw this one back.

  7. #16
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    He's calling you "controlling" and jealous". Really? This guy has some issues. Truthfully, I'd run the other way if I were you. You don't need this ridiculous drama. Forget him. Not worth your time.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TanyaJo
    We started texting from Jan and we met just before the lockdown. He is 41 and I am 33.
    41! And he's comparing hotness? Using a hat to prove he attracts women? Takes no initiative to make a date and then act like he's doing you some big consideration?

    This guy is a loser! LOSER! At 41, a man should be a little more in touch with what is actually important like kindness & respect for others. Not some BS like this.

    This man will be alone for a long time.... You can definitely find better.

    Don't correct guys that do lame things. For one, they just turn it around on you. And its like why bother with that? And two, you know everything you need to know.

    If you have to explain, after one meeting what he should or should text you, take that as proof positive, there are way too many other things you will need to explain and some things, you just cant explain.

    A person is either of your caliber or not. You can't teach class, tact, or respect.

    Consider yourself lucky!

  9. #18
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    So he was playing you for 3 months to get you hooked on him BEFORE you actually met. I wonder how many other women he was talking to at the same time and is still talking too.

    If you are looking for a relationship or at the very least dating that could lead to a relationship you need to spot this sort of thing much sooner. I have had similar things happen to me but I cut them off for my own good. It is like once they know you are on the hook they turn their attention to the other lines in the water and check on you once in a while to make sure you are still hooked.

    This guy is used to going through a lot of women because he is a jerk. He can attract them and fool them for a while but then his character and true nature surface. If he has dated so many "Hot" women then why isn't he with one of them???

    You didn't do anything wrong other than waste 2 months of your time on this guy. Live and learn right?

    Look back I bet there were some red flags weren't there?

    Lost

  10. #19
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    "and jealous (because they are better looking)" He said this? He is an azzhole and loser.

    You should be meeting within a week or two. If you had sussed him out earlier, you would have seen who he is.

    I think that it is odd that he is sending you the pics of the women. I think that he was trying to make you feel insecure.

    Good riddance.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 03-27-2020 at 04:33 PM.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Tanya,

    Uh oh. This guy is red flags all over the place!

    He doesn't know how to treat you with respect if it hit him on the head!

    So let me get this straight. You finally date this texting guy after 3 months and he has no qualms sending you pics of a few random attractive women wearing the same hat. If that wasn't bad enough, he also sent you random pics of women whom he worked with. Yes indeed, this guy is odd. Stay away and avoid weird men!

    Then he engages in gaslighting you (by changing your perception of the facts), deflects blame and fault by telling YOU that YOU as "controlling" and "jealous." (Google: "Gaslighting.") Wow, what a guy! Stop wasting your time and energy on him because he's not worth it.

    He needs to take a long walk on a short pier.

    You need to dump him!
    Last edited by Cherylyn; 03-27-2020 at 04:43 PM.

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