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Thread: This might help...

  1. #1
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    This might help...

    As folks may know, I was on here at Christmas dealing with a sudden and unexpected break up ( call it what it was - my ass got dumped by the woman I love) and I've been dealing with that. Still am. But I had a bit of a breakthrough a few days ago and it's really helping, so I thought I'd share.

    If you got hit by a truck, you wouldn't expect to get over it quickly. We expect to be immobilised and dealing with the pain. But we tend to make the best of it - damn, that could have been worse, etc.

    My reading has shown me that emotional impacts can have the same kind of impact, in some cases so bad that it could be described as physical harm. But we deal with it in a different and more destructive way, we blame ourselves. We dwell on it. We mentally pick at the scabs.

    So now, when I feel miserable (and I do) I've started to recognise it for what it is - my emotions hurt because they got hit by a truck. I'm actually OK. My future looks good, logically I can only see good outcomes from this mess. But right now, I'm feeling 'emotional bruising.' It's not my fault, it's not even a problem, it's a natural reaction to the situation and has nothing to do with me. I recognise it as no more significant than the itch of a leg in a plaster cast, or the twinge of a torn muscle.

    And those hurt like a . But they heal. And they heal faster if you ignore them.

    Maybe something to try next time you feel low. 'This isn't me: someone just punched me in the heart.'

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    That's a good perspective, Stdavid.

    Let time help you heal.

    I've discovered that once emotions are removed from parting ways, it's easier to cope with past relationships or past friendships. When you remove emotions out of the equation and focus on why the breakup occurred, it's easier to know deep within your bones that it was for the best and incompatible people can never force themselves to make it work.

    Removing emotions makes you think how two incompatible people are like oil and water and the two shall never mix.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Skeptic76's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Stdavid
    As folks may know, I was on here at Christmas dealing with a sudden and unexpected break up ( call it what it was - my ass got dumped by the woman I love) and I've been dealing with that. Still am. But I had a bit of a breakthrough a few days ago and it's really helping, so I thought I'd share.

    If you got hit by a truck, you wouldn't expect to get over it quickly. We expect to be immobilised and dealing with the pain. But we tend to make the best of it - damn, that could have been worse, etc.

    My reading has shown me that emotional impacts can have the same kind of impact, in some cases so bad that it could be described as physical harm. But we deal with it in a different and more destructive way, we blame ourselves. We dwell on it. We mentally pick at the scabs.

    So now, when I feel miserable (and I do) I've started to recognise it for what it is - my emotions hurt because they got hit by a truck. I'm actually OK. My future looks good, logically I can only see good outcomes from this mess. But right now, I'm feeling 'emotional bruising.' It's not my fault, it's not even a problem, it's a natural reaction to the situation and has nothing to do with me. I recognise it as no more significant than the itch of a leg in a plaster cast, or the twinge of a torn muscle.

    And those hurt like a . But they heal. And they heal faster if you ignore them.

    Maybe something to try next time you feel low. 'This isn't me: someone just punched me in the heart.'
    This is so filled with grace; thanks for sharing your insight.


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