Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 21

Thread: Quarantaine days

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    84

    Quarantaine days

    Hi everyone!:)

    Didn't went on this website for a long time, things have been so good for me lately and I feel a lot better.
    I was in a depression before (when I posted more on this website), I have been gone a while to travel around the world, and it did wonders to my mental health, together with the things I learned from my psychiatrist.
    In my last post I told how I struggled with my ex deleting his social media. This was hard at the beginning, but faded quickly. I didn't think about him all the time anymore and really felt like I was moving on faster then before. Before was a real struggle.

    Before he used to check my Social media (watching my stories, I removed him from following me but he kept watching).


    During my travels the virus came up, and instead of staying there I had to change plans real fast and come back home again.
    I still feel good and much stronger then before. Downside is that for some reason, my ex got back his social media and started to watch my stories again (he deleted it on the day I started with my travels and got it back the day I got back.. weird coincidence). I notice, since I have to stay inside a lot and its completely different then the freedom I felt before, that I think about him a lot more. I deleted my social media for a week for a bit of rest of checking him checking me, but I got it back today and he checks immediately (without following me). I deleted it again, I dont want to keep busy with him the whole time.
    Its just a very different situation then before, and if I have to be honest, I hope he would say something but he probably wont. It messes with my head, sometimes Im thinking about sending him a message.

    I guess I post this here to ask for advice/similiair stories. Its hard to care about someone but knowing its probably for the best not to speak. Especially in this situation of staying home without a lot of distractions.
    I think he thinks the same but cant resist the temptation to check.

    Hope you guys understand and good luck in these weird times x

  2. #2
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Surrey BC, Canada
    Posts
    2,249
    Gender
    Female
    Block him.....seriously put your social media on private/friends only.

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    84
    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Block him.....seriously put your social media on private/friends only.
    I know! I am thinking to do this but it feels like Im not ready yet. There's still a bit of hope. I see why its the best thing to do tho.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    14,452
    Do you think him viewing your page means he wants to get back together?

  5.  

  6. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    84
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Do you think him viewing your page means he wants to get back together?
    I dont know what he thinks.. I hope to hear from him, but I dont think I ever will. I think he would have done it before.
    Personally I think he misses me but probably realizes it would be hard to get back together (he lives in another country as well). Maybe he wants to see if Im dating someone else. There is some interest at least, otherwise you wouldnt check on an ex you dont follow since the last six months. But getting back together is another thing.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    4,825
    Gender
    Male
    Sorry about this.

    You seem to know what's needed here—blocking him—while also admitting you're not ready for that. Which, hey, is okay. Human. Sometimes we need to eat a little bit too much candy before committing to the diet, or dip into the candy jar mid diet to get back on track.

    Social media? It's candy, always. It's what people to turn to when they are bored, antsy, which a lot of people are at present. I'm not very active on Instagram, but I've noticed, for instance, that whenever I post a story these days—a photo of salmon cooking, say—I get about 15 messages from friends, little emoji stickers, all that. Prior to coronavirus? That never happened. Those people just watched my stories, went on with their lives. Now they've got a little more time on their hands, a little more hurt in their spirits, and so the added connection helps a bit.

    So it goes.

    But when it's an ex suddenly lurking, fueled by the same juju? Well, that's when it's less healthy, for everyone involved, as you know. Be it during a global pandemic, or just a random week, I think it's always worth reminding ourselves that if all we have are story views to gauge a connection and feel some feelings that we are kind of huffing paint thinner from a paper bag. Happens. Been there. But I do think if you can call yourself out on in, rather than reading his story views as hieroglyphics and savoring that adrenaline buzz that comes when his name pops up, you'll find you are continuing on the wonderful road you've been on: moving forward, growing, learning from this chapter in life, rather than slipping back or spinning around in place.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    6,751
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by JoyceVib
    I know! I am thinking to do this but it feels like Im not ready yet. There's still a bit of hope. I see why its the best thing to do tho.
    Stop tormenting yourself and block and delete this guy.

  9. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    84
    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Sorry about this.

    You seem to know what's needed here—blocking him—while also admitting you're not ready for that. Which, hey, is okay. Human. Sometimes we need to eat a little bit too much candy before committing to the diet, or dip into the candy jar mid diet to get back on track.

    Social media? It's candy, always. It's what people to turn to when they are bored, antsy, which a lot of people are at present. I'm not very active on Instagram, but I've noticed, for instance, that whenever I post a story these days—a photo of salmon cooking, say—I get about 15 messages from friends, little emoji stickers, all that. Prior to coronavirus? That never happened. Those people just watched my stories, went on with their lives. Now they've got a little more time on their hands, a little more hurt in their spirits, and so the added connection helps a bit.

    So it goes.

    But when it's an ex suddenly lurking, fueled by the same juju? Well, that's when it's less healthy, for everyone involved, as you know. Be it during a global pandemic, or just a random week, I think it's always worth reminding ourselves that if all we have are story views to gauge a connection and feel some feelings that we are kind of huffing paint thinner from a paper bag. Happens. Been there. But I do think if you can call yourself out on in, rather than reading his story views as hieroglyphics and savoring that adrenaline buzz that comes when his name pops up, you'll find you are continuing on the wonderful road you've been on: moving forward, growing, learning from this chapter in life, rather than slipping back or spinning around in place.
    Hey Bluecastle, thank you so much for your reply! I love the way you put it, and thank you for understanding. Knowing something is better for you is different then acting on it. I can imagine this works different for every person, but for me it is hard at the moment. Im going to set my mind on blocking him and see how it goes.

    Trying to understand feelings while having so many at the same time is hard. All I want to do is talk with him, but while we were trying to get back together he stopped talking to me all of a surfen and we never talked again. I only send him a message to let him know its a shame it has to end this way and Im done as well, and deleted him from everything and blocked him on Whatsapp. So many questions still. And because I feel a lot still its hard to block him. I know he cares somehow.
    Would be amazing to feel less in situations like this, how helpful that would be.
    I agree on the connection you mention, it just gets inside your head and nothing else changes. Its not real. But for a thinker like me it does make me wonder, it does make me think. I wish it would become real at some point and there would be real contact, which is why blocking feels so hard. I find it hard to let go of that thought and some hope that's left. He was very important to me.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    23,318
    Is the guy you broke up with two years ago?

  11. #10
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    84
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Is the guy you broke up with two years ago?
    About 8 months ago. The break up before that one was almost four years ago 🙆

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Videos


Maintaining A Strong Relationship

Detaching From a Malignant Man

Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •