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Thread: Should BF expects me to pay rent?

  1. #1
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    Should BF expects me to pay rent?

    Hi guys, a delicate situation I'd like to hear your thoughts.

    Me and my BF both work full time,decent jobs. I own my apartment (paid off) and he rents his apartment. We decided to move in together as our relationship progressed, but still try to be independent financial wise at this stage (no joint account). Initially we planned to rent a new place and share the rent and all other costs, meanwhile I rent out my place and make some extra income. For me, this extra income will cover my part of rent. For him,his rent will reduce. So the whole moving together thing happened to financially benefit both of us too. Few weeks ago his lease was up, but we decided to just move me into his current place instead. My place is too small for two people. So he renewed the lease. The agreement regarding rent is pretty much still the same. I also found a tenant for my place. All seemed good.

    Then the coronavirus came, my tenant pulled out unexpectedly. All of a sudden all the restrictions came and it seems to have impacted the rental market. So im not sure if i can find tenants anytime soon.

    Now here is the issue. I thought since I'm moving in with him, he has been paying the same rent all these years so he doesnt need my money, I want to start paying rent to him after I find a tenant. Otherwise, I feel like he's making a gain out of my loss. Because I didnt have to pay any rent.

    But he thinks we are renting this place together and I should pay half rent regardless I make extra income or not. Essentially I'm paying to the landlord, not him. If I was outta job now and had no income, he'd help me and cover my rent. However since I am earning salary, I dont need financial help. If I insist, he'll think about maybe reduce my rent. But he feels being taken advantage of if I want rent free till I find a tenant.

    I dont really know how to feel..money mixed with emotions is always complicated . What do you guys think should be done?

    P.S. I will keep finding new tenants for the time being instead of moving back straight away. Who knows i may find someone next month.For practical reasons moving back and forth within just a few weeks/month is quite a waste of money and energy. I do plan to move back if I have no luck after 2-3 months.
    Last edited by h0000; 03-25-2020 at 09:45 PM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Can you move back into your old place until the time is right to find a new tenant?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    If you can afford it, share rent costs with your boyfriend. If you can't afford to split the rent with him, move out. Whoever earns the higher income should divide the rent equitably according to income amount.

    This is a business deal between you and your boyfriend. Take the option and move back into your own apartment since your tenant moved out. Your relationship won't be based upon money anymore once you move back into your paid off apartment.

    Then reevaluate your relationship with your boyfriend because you've since discovered how he treats you when money, rent payment, etc. are suddenly at the forefront of your relationship.

  4. #4
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I would move back to my own place if I could.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn

    Then reevaluate your relationship with your boyfriend because you've since discovered how he treats you when money, rent payment, etc. are suddenly at the forefront of your relationship.
    That's the whole point of my post, I dont know how to reevaluate. Is he wrong? Is he selfish? Am I wrong? I dont know. Some of my friends agree with him and some agree with me.

  7. #6
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    Move back into your own place.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Now here is the issue. I thought since I'm moving in with him, he has been paying the same rent all these years so he doesnt need my money, I want to start paying rent to him after I find a tenant. Otherwise, I feel like he's making a gain out of my loss. Because I didnt have to pay any rent.
    No, no, no....stop right there. You still owe him your part of the rent. Whatever is going on with your old place, is not his issue or problem.

    PAY HIM!!!!

  9. #8
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    Well understandably it's an extremely stressful and difficult situation now for everyone with coronavirus. If I was you I would actually make it my priority to keep looking for a tenant for your apartment. I know it's not a good time for that but some people are still looking for somewhere to live because they don't have a choice. E.g. one of my friends got kicked out of her place just before coronavirus lockdowns because the house she was renting is being knocked down. So she is currently moving into another house right now.

    If you really can't find a tenant and your place is going to be empty for a few months, then even just for safety reasons it might be good for you to move back there to keep an eye on everything.

    Look this is just my personal opinion, but I think if you stay with your boyfriend at his apartment then I do think you should split everything 50/50. That's just how it needs to be if both people are working and are renting a place. Yes he was in that place alone but now you're there too so normally that's how it works. I rent an apartment from my parents and when my ex-fiance moved in here, he paid half of all the rent and bills. So even though my family owns this place, he still contributed. The fact that you couldn't get a tenant is not your boyfriend's issue really. I mean it's not his fault so why should he pay all the rent now that you're at his apartment too?

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    No, no, no....stop right there. You still owe him your part of the rent. Whatever is going on with your old place, is not his issue or problem.

    PAY HIM!!!!
    Yes I think so too but if you really don't want to pay rent, then say you need to keep an eye on your place and move back there.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Since you are keeping finances seperate, I would take it as a given that you would pay rent while you are living there.
    Your business with your apartment is yours, it's not really on him to shoulder that.
    Fair enough if you were to choose to stay in your apartment for now. It seems you'd rather not though, so yeah, paying rent seems fair to me.
    I don't think he is benefitting from your loss. Your deal together is seperate from your tenant situation.
    That's only my opinion.

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