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Thread: Should BF expects me to pay rent?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    Move back to your place or pay half the rent living at his. It's really that simple.
    This.

    Why would you be allowed to live rent free, just because he used to pay the entire amount?

    You wonder if he is being selfish. It seems to me, you might be the selfish one.

    If he pays the whole rent, then you are a guest. That's how I'd look at it.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by h0000
    Very good question if there was no virus...then I would have paid rent regardless because I know even if I cant find tenants straight away, I can find some soon enough. The rental costs in between? I can absorb. It wouldnt be that huge amount.

    Now with the virus, I know eventually I will still find someone, but I'm afraid it'll take an extended period of time. The cost in between will be a lot bigger than I originally expected. So I suppose I wanted him to help me reduce the cost? By not charging me (full)rent?
    Believe me, I understand the pinch. I'm feeling it as I write: three units, typically full, now empty. I have a feeling I've got some years on you, and one thing I've learned is that financial pinches are part and parcel for life. Not fun, but also? Manageable. For me, at the moment. For you, at the moment. We are incredibly lucky to own property, in the big picture, and we are lucky to be able to take a short term hit. Maybe focus on those facts, rather than magnifying the others?

    Is there any chance that, in wanting your boyfriend to help reduce the cost, you're looking for some kind of sign that you're on the same page in the relationship, in values, in something that isn't directly attached to this tough moment? I ask because you mentioned not yet sharing a joint bank account, which makes me wonder if being less financially independent and more inter-dependent is something you're eager to see happen. If so, that's a fine thing to want, down the line, but maybe not a thing to fast track during a stressful moment.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    When you agreed to share a rental apartment with him, you became responsible for half the rent regardless of your personal financial circumstances.

    Unfortunately, your personal reasoning for the move was that you will both benefit financially from this. Since for the time being that's not panning out, you now resent that only he benefits in your eyes, while you are getting the short end of the stick with the tenant falling through....even though you are not in any dire straights and can well afford the 1/2 rent. I think you are rather greedy here. Also, did you move in to further your relationship or just because of financial gain? I'm not being mean, I want you to think about this and perhaps that will help you gain some clarity on this. What actually matters to you here?

  4. #24
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Do you think "if he loved me he wouldn't make me pay rent"?

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Well it goes to show ya you need to be better prepared for the "what if" or "in the event of". Like what if someone loses their job, what if someone gets sick or in a car accident, what if you get pregnant, what if a parent gets ill, what if a friend needs a place to stay, what happens if you split up, etc. All things should to be considered before making a decision that may affect the relationship and or finances.

  7. #26
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    Are you on the same page and are you working as a united team? United teams support each other, work through things together and figure things out together. But I don't see that happening in your situation.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Going from owning your own place to being his tenant is a huge step-down.

    Is this the same guy?:[Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by h0000
    Me and my BF both work full time,decent jobs. I own my apartment (paid off) and he rents his apartment.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    Move back to your place or pay half the rent living at his. It's really that simple.

    This. Anything else is having your cake and eating it. You were happy to agree to keeping money out of the relationship when it suited you. You can't ask for a free ride now it doesn't.

    If i was in your shoes i'd just move back into my apartment and it stops any arguments. If you want to live at his pay your fair share.

    You are in a much more financially secure position. Struggling to see why you wouldn't want to pay your share.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle

    Is there any chance that, in wanting your boyfriend to help reduce the cost, you're looking for some kind of sign that you're on the same page in the relationship, in values, in something that isn't directly attached to this tough moment? I ask because you mentioned not yet sharing a joint bank account, which makes me wonder if being less financially independent and more inter-dependent is something you're eager to see happen.
    I suppose yes I am looking for signs for love and value. Itís reassuring if he offers to help. Yes I can still manage on my own, without any help from him. But then I will wonder if he really loves me like he said.

    But he thinks Its ďtaking advantage of himĒ if I ask for help when I donít need any, rather than showing love.

    Am I being confusing here? Because i donít want a joint account at this stage. I do want financial independence at this stage. But at the same time Iím using money to judge his love for me? .I dunno lol

  11. #30
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You've paid off your apartment. Move back into your own apartment and save your money. It doesn't make sense wasting your money on paying rent at your boyfriend's apartment. Do what makes shrewd business sense for yourself and stay healthier hunkering down at your own paid-off apartment.

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