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Thread: Should BF expects me to pay rent?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    If your working salary doesn't cover renting an apartment with him, and you relied on the $ from renting your apartment, then that's what you tell him. I can't afford to live here, then. In my opinion, a decent boyfriend would say, "Okay, for now then, how about you just pay half of the utility bills and chip in for the groceries?" If he doesn't say that, and if he says, "Yeah, it's best you go home for now." Then if it were me, he wouldn't be the ideal lifetime partner.

    Ultimately, it doesn't matter who is wrong and who is right. If you disagree on something so important, then one of you will feel very bitter about having to cave, and that's not good for building a beautiful life together.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Yes I think so too but if you really don't want to pay rent, then say you need to keep an eye on your place and move back there
    Yes, for sure. If you don't want to pay him then leave. That would be the fair thing to do.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I think you should either move back to your own place until you find a tenant or pay him half of the rent on his place and move in there. It sounds cheap to me to think you can move in with him and not pay any rent.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    While I understand your frustrations, I can't help but think you might be bringing one frustration (tenant dropping out) into the relationship in a way that's not needed. Perhaps there's another frustration—his place instead of one you chose together?—also factoring in?

    Think about it like this. Let's imagine a parallel, coronavirus-free reality where you guys had gone apartment shopping together and mutually decided on a new place to rent, with that rent split, per the original plan. And let's say you lived there together for 6 months—but, ugh, your tenant split, as tenants sometimes do, depriving you of that extra scratch. Bummer, for sure. But since you still have a job, means to pay rent, and so on, would you expect him to cover the rent until you got a tenant? I'd try to look at it like that, for perspective.

    Related personal story: I moved into my girlfriend's apartment, now our apartment, three months ago. We split the rent. I own two homes in other cities that I rent out long and short term—a huge part of my income. With coronavirus my rental income for the next two months dropped to a flat zero, so I'm now carrying those two mortgages and rent on our place. Bummer. My other source of income? Well, that too has been frozen. Double bummer. But I've got savings, a history of thinking nimbly on my feet, and wouldn't think of asking my girlfriend to cover the rent for the next month just because I'm slightly pinched. She's stressed too, along with the planet, and we're in this together.

    If I was dead broke it might be a different story, but I'm not, and it doesn't sound like you are either. Pinched, frustrated, overwhelmed, yeah. Hugs on all that from another tenant-free human. But if you can still pay rent I don't understand why you wouldn't. Whether it's a week from now or a few months, you'll have a tenant, and this will be what it is: a pinch during a pinched time.

    My few cents.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by h0000
    That's the whole point of my post, I dont know how to reevaluate. Is he wrong? Is he selfish? Am I wrong? I dont know. Some of my friends agree with him and some agree with me.
    Splitting the rent seems fair. However, if one person earns a higher income than the other person, sharing the rent costs according to income ratio would be considerate for the person earning less income.

    Your apartment is paid off. Therefore, it would be less expensive for you to move back to your apartment since your tenant moved out.

    And with COVID-19 pandemic, it would be safer for your health to move back to your apartment as well.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    While I understand your frustrations, I can't help but think you might be bringing one frustration (tenant dropping out) into the relationship in a way that's not needed. Perhaps there's another frustration—his place instead of one you chose together?—also factoring in?

    Think about it like this. Let's imagine a parallel, coronavirus-free reality where you guys had gone apartment shopping together and mutually decided on a new place to rent, with that rent split, per the original plan. And let's say you lived there together for 6 months—but, ugh, your tenant split, as tenants sometimes do, depriving you of that extra scratch. Bummer, for sure. But since you still have a job, means to pay rent, and so on, would you expect him to cover the rent until you got a tenant? I'd try to look at it like that, for perspective.

    Related personal story: I moved into my girlfriend's apartment, now our apartment, three months ago. We split the rent. I own two homes in other cities that I rent out long and short term—a huge part of my income. With coronavirus my rental income for the next two months dropped to a flat zero, so I'm now carrying those two mortgages and rent on our place. Bummer. My other source of income? Well, that too has been frozen. Double bummer. But I've got savings, a history of thinking nimbly on my feet, and wouldn't think of asking my girlfriend to cover the rent for the next month just because I'm slightly pinched. She's stressed too, along with the planet, and we're in this together.

    If I was dead broke it might be a different story, but I'm not, and it doesn't sound like you are either. Pinched, frustrated, overwhelmed, yeah. Hugs on all that from another tenant-free human. But if you can still pay rent I don't understand why you wouldn't. Whether it's a week from now or a few months, you'll have a tenant, and this will be what it is: a pinch during a pinched time.

    My few cents.
    Thank you for the thoughtful reply.

    Very good question if there was no virus...then I would have paid rent regardless because I know even if I cant find tenants straight away, I can find some soon enough. The rental costs in between? I can absorb. It wouldnt be that huge amount.

    Now with the virus, I know eventually I will still find someone, but I'm afraid it'll take an extended period of time. The cost in between will be a lot bigger than I originally expected. So I suppose I wanted him to help me reduce the cost? By not charging me (full)rent?

    But yeah, I have salary, so I can always afford the cost. And BF shares your thought too : "if you lost your job, that'd be a different story. But you didn't, so why dont you pay".

    I guess the issue is whether I should ask BF to help me reduce the cost. Many of you dont think so. And I do see your point.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You will be placing your problems on his shoulders...that's not fair.

    If you were a married couple, it's a different story. But as boyfriend/girlfriend and rent, you need to be fair and stick to the agreement made just the same as you would with anyone else you were renting with.

    If you wouldn't expect a roommate to cover you, then don't do that to your boyfriend.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Move back to your place or pay half the rent living at his. It's really that simple.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Yes move back to your own place. Why bicker over this? Living with him is emotionally and financially foolish. Try not to profit off each other at a time like this.
    Originally Posted by h0000
    I own my apartment, my tenant pulled out unexpectedly.

  11. #20
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    Is he going to benefit- or is he -from the equity you're building as a homeowner? From the tax benefits, etc? I agree that you should pay your share and if you really can't given your loss of tenant income figure it out. I'd likely move back to my own place especially since it's safer now all else equal.

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