Originally Posted by goddess
According to what OP stated, he fits quite a number of the official criteria for NPD. That's why we believe he is a narcissist.
Yes, that's right, goddess.

I've known several people who are exactly as you had described, Traes. You either accept your husband as is or after 17 years of marriage, do something about it. Either he goes or you go or seek your own happiness if you're stuck with him.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are stuck with spouses whom they despise or don't respect. If there's no way out and he refuses to be considerate of you, don't rely on him to provide your happiness.

If you don't expect any positive changes from him, you won't be disappointed and hurt anymore.

And, don't be envious of him. There is nothing to be envious about. His disdainful characteristic traits are shameful and disgusting. What's so envious about that?